Yesterday was my official first day of changing my life and I did incredible. I got up early, ate breakfast and then I went on a 30 minute walk. I kept busy catching up with house work and out of the kitchen. Had a great lunch and did more house work to keep my mind off food and on something productive for once. And to finish off the day I had a great supper with my husband and we had a very relaxing evening. What I don't get is that when I laid down last night to sleep, I couldn't. I had feelings of anxiety, depression, and I felt as if I had ate all day and sat in front of the tv and did nothing. I felt worse than I have in a long time. I was so frustrated!! How will I ever make it if I can't change my thinking? How can I stay on my path to being healthy if I can't even let myself have a victory? All day yesterday I felt sooooo good!! But when I got all alone with myself and my thoughts went wild! I am finally beginning to understand the real issues in my weight gain and why I can't seem to get it right. I am realizing that it is a totally a mindthing. It has absolutely nothing to do with will power but how our minds work. I just want to say thnak you for this website and the community in it for giving me support and an outlet for my thoughts and frustrations. And thank you to everyone who reads it and to those who understand completely!
Wow I so totally know where you are coming from. I gained 100+ lbs in 2003 then tried unsuccessfully to lose it beginning Fall 2004 through about Fall 2006, at which point I just gave up. I would "change my lifestyle" for a day, or maybe a week, then something would happen (physically, mentally, emotionally or environmentally ~ always something different) and I'd go off plan. Then it would take a long time to try again. And I'd fail again. So I finally just gave up and resigned myself to being super morbidly obese.
But then... I finally realized that I had been DEPRESSED and didn't know it. I was depressed for two decades! I had no idea! I didn't realize it until I wasn't depressed anymore. It happened gradually.
I don't know if that's what you're experiencing, but it might be worth investigating with a therapist if you're unsure.
Once I figured that out in mid 2008, everything clicked and here I am, 98 lbs later. And now nothing is going to keep me from reaching my goal. Nothing!
Hey don't be so hard on yourself, it was your FIRST day
I was pretty negative for a while, and reading through my blog it totally shows, but now looking through my posts are more happy and hopeful.
For a while anytime I ate I'd feel bad, even if I ate well but craved something else. Finally one day I was like omg stop being so negative- you had a good day- so good job- pat yourself on the back! Since then I've been doing much better with the weightloss- I finally stopped wavering back and forth between 213-215!
I think a lot of it has to do with the loss of a life style. Your trying to give up your whole line of thinking, your coping device...etc. I think it's hard for us to give up what we know. Probably in a few weeks when your body adjusts to the new way of life...it will get easier mentally. Until then stay strong, try to think positively and stay on track!
I think it can be so overwhelming, thinking about what we have to do.
I'm currently on Day 50.
I have not broken faith once.
I am happy with what I've lost (24lbs).
My clothes are feeling looser.
My health feels better.
I am on track to make my Easter goal.
but
by any standards, I'm still a fat lump. A short, fat lump. A middle-aged, short, fat lump.
I feel like - I've taken this decision to be positive, I've worked so hard, - please don't punish me with this horrid weight/body any more; but next morning, there it is.
I just wondered if that's the kind of thing that was hitting you - big decision taken (congratulations), great first day (well done) but there will be a lot more great days to have to get through.
All I can say is, just take it a day at a time. wow, how's that for a cliche? it's true though, it's our only magic, to keep at it, one day at a time.
Wonderful day..so why do I feel so bad?
