I've always been kinda chubby, not fat but not thin either, ya know? Anyway last year I began to slowly gain weight and as it happened I became more & more of a social hermit. It got to the point where I was to ashamed to leave the house & I remember going to my Gradnpas house and he gasped and said ' You're piling on the weight aren't you?' and if the ground could have swallowed me, it would.
Thats when I thought I cant just complain, I have to DO something. I've a feeling every now and then when I just know I'll lose the weight, because I know its within my reach and that I can do it, I simply refuse to stop until I hit that goal
Aren't grandpas something! I'll never forget mine looking at my blue jeaned thigh and saying he had never seen one that big. He was one of those folks who never really knew how (or cared) to filter what went through his mind and out of his month. If he thought it, he said it. He's been dead and gone for over 10 years, but I still remember that (along with other more pleasant memories!).
I had a moment (several, really) in January where I woke up and realized I didn't have to be fat anymore, that I was actually choosing my lifestyle.
I had lost 95 lbs in 2003, but, as of January of this year, I had regained almost 50 of them.
A lot of things came into play about the same time: lessons from the church I had been attending, my struggle with accepting the OA philosophy, and dreams of things that had happened to me in my past that certainly contributed to the way I lived then.
I realized that I had settled for so little in my life: a tub of ice cream, a pizza, junk food. Stuff that made life temporarily better but did nothing positive for the "big picture." I realized that those things didn't make me happy -- didn't even make my life temporarily better -- and I cut out most of them. I've set goals that aren't weight related, and have managed them, working toward the "big picture." That's probably been my biggest motivation.
I have goals. I want things. I will not settle. It's not about the weight, really, but weight certainly plays a part in the life I want. I want to get rid of it. I have too much to do.
As I'm losing weight, I'm learning about myself and what I really want. I'm envisioning my life as it will be, active and free from embarrassment and shame.
I'm also a lot more accepting of myself at this weight than I ever have been before. Now that I've accepted it and know that I can't change what I've done yesterday or a year ago, I can change what I do today, and tomorrow when it comes.
As I'm losing weight, I'm learning about myself and what I really want. I'm envisioning my life as it will be, active and free from embarrassment and shame
How did I know it was "time". Really, I just did. Kind of like knowing my husband was "the one."
I'm still not sure how it I got so large. I really have always been fat. I can't actually remember being under 200 lbs in my adult life. At 5'10" that's still pretty heavy, but not too bad. I was about 225/235 when I met my husband. I was probably 260 or so when I got married. I was happy, content, loved - and married a man who loves to eat as much as I do. Lots of people become morbidly obese (what a horrible term) because something bad happened to them. I just didn't pay attention. I didn't particularly care. I was happy! I had a good life! I gained about 15 lbs a year until I was bigger than I ever thought I'd be. I held pretty steady for a long time at 314, then suddenly gained going from 314 to 328. At the same time, my husband gained 10 lbs, going from 270 to 280. We sat down, looked at each other and said, "This HAS to stop!" I dug out my old Weight Watcher's materials from the 1990's, we started counting out points, and stuck with it. Why that last 14 lbs did something that the prior 128 hadn't is beyond me. I don't think I'll ever understand it.
In the end, I lost 100 lbs. My low was 228. That was last spring. I'm not sure what happened, but when I hit that 100 lb mark it was like my brain said, "I'm done!" I wasn't! I didn't intend to be! But I relaxed and enjoyed the changes in my health and my appearance and forgot how those nasty fat cells just sit there looking for a chance to plump back up. Isn't it terribly unfair that you can kill brain cells, but fat cells live forever? At last WI I was back to 251. My husband has gained too but, curse him, he still weighs less than me! We're back to working on it though!
I knew it was time when I realized I couldn't keep up with 4 year old grandchild, had become a social recluse, couldn't stand looking at myself in the mirror and had developed type II diabetes. I struggled most of my life with my weight, too, but it seems once I hit 45 it was a downhill slide into morbid obesity. It's time for me to get my health and self-respect back!
Weight loss found me.
I think it just was time, ya know? I wasn't even trying to lose weight (for once in my life) and all of a sudden I started losing and then I consciously tried to continue that loss and Bob's your uncle.
I guess it is like how somepeople say they find the greatest loves of their life-- precisely when they were not looking for them.
I am not advocating anyone else not try and improve their life/health though... that lil anecdote is just my story such as it is...
I explained it in my I had my AHA moment thread. A SKINNY woman started patting her concave stomach and calling herself a cow etc. etc. I got in the car and exploded I was so angry and sad and fed up. In addition I had recently had to get on the scale at the hospital to find out that I was about 40 pounds heavier than I thought I was..and that made me cry in the car..again. I also realized I was turning fifty this year and I didn't want to wake up on ANOTHER birthday and a significant milestone birthday full of regrets and disappointments and self-loathing! BTW We have the same goal weight Good luck.
The point where I decided enough was enough of being morbidly obese was when my mobility was deterating fast. I have multiple sclerosis and I was certain that my weight was not helping my condition. I bought some scales and hopped on and was horrified to see that I was now 300lbs. The last time I had been on the scales I had been 270lbs. I had spent the majority of my life avoiding getting on the scales and being in denile about my weight.
Since I have lost the weight I have found that my mobility has improved vastly. Though 2 month ago I did have a relapse and I have been slowly getting back to where I was before though I have not got there yet. Despite this set back it has been the best thing I have done. My only regret was I wish I had been wiser when I was younger it would have saved me a lot of heart ache.
Hi Ladies - I'm new here, but very glad to have found you all
My story is similar to Lilion's - Im not sure how I got this big - it just seemed to happen.
I stepped on the scale about 6 weeks ago, and it read 324 - I just stood there stunned. I didn't even weigh that much during my twin pregnancy - which was almost 4 years ago. At that moment, I knew that I had to do something - I've changed my eating habits and am hoping to stick with it.
My "Aha" moment was when I saw a photo that was taken of one of my sweet little daughters hugging me. I looked at it and instead of seeing a cute picture, I thought "That couldn't be me! Who is that REALLY overweight woman?"
All through my teen years I was a little chubby but, comfortable with myself. Everyone thought I looked "cute" and everything was okay.
When I became an adult and a mother two times in a row, the weight started creeping up on me. I passed it off as a woman who had two babies and that worked for quite a few years.
I was in denial of just how much weight I had gained until I saw that photo. I had no more "baby" excuses with daughters who were 6 and 7 years old.
I had many people ask me when was I expecting my 3rd child. I don't blame them, I really did look 9 months pregnant.
So, it was then that I decided that I didn't have to look like that horrible woman in the photo and I got my behind in gear.
Good luck.
