Hi everyone. Identity crisis is better for now. lol. I took some time to reflect and talk to myself. I am not a quitter, honestly I know you guys could never tell that by all of the jobs I have gone through lately. lol. I am not a quitter and I need to pull my boot straps up and get moving forward again in all aspects of my life. The time is NOW. Okay, enough said.

Debi: I see what you mean about Alice being the winner. If you are lurking Alice, Super job! Sorry that you had a sad time of it without your kids starting school. Hugs.

Toni: I like the mini rice cakes and If I am going to have one or two of them I will eat them with some Laughing Cow cheese to make them have some protein. My hubby really likes them.

Bumblebee: Feel better. Hugs.

Julee: Whoop Whoop on the -2.6 pounds! Glad that the Farmer's Market was nice.

Catherine: Glad you found the pencil.Are you still Grumpy?

Sara: I hope you have a great time visiting your family in the UK.

Bernice: Hugs to you on that tooth. How nice for the principal to say that you look like you had a makeover!

Megawatt: Welcome back hun. So, so, sorry about your motorcycle accident. I hope you are all healed up. Did you get hurt badly? How is your bike? Hugs.

Debbie: I love all of the spoils of the garden. Our tomatos are alllllmosst red. I can't wait. lol. I know you are proud of your son sweetie. I hope it didn't sound like I thought you weren't proud of him. I know you are!

Patti: Woo hoo on loosing the water weight!

Monica: Yesssss! I am so happy for you on loosing 5 pounds. Way to go hun.

Penny: How is the Mood. lol. Good luck to Dh with his interview.

Carol: I'm so glad that you enjoyed the lake. Glad you are back.

Hi To everyone else.

I am down 2 pounds this week. For how awful I have been doing my "program". I am happy with that. I am heading out to mow the front yard now. I hope everyone has a wonderful op, water drinking and bootie moving day.

Blessings,
Annie

Well one week down upteen more to go!! LOL overall it went well! I took in an extra 2 drawer file cabinet that I had at home and a small white plastic drawer(the kind you can stack on top of eachother) since we are doing teacher corners in the room I wanted something next to my table so that I can keep myself organized ..........I set up file folders for each period I teach students. I've got 3 squared away........well actually 4....since I teach the same thing twice..........only thing I haven't gottened planned out is math and thats because I'm waiting on the teacher to tell me what she wants from me.

my tooth was ok today.......it hurt this morning and I took some pain meds.........I worked most of the day w/o any trouble.........then in the afternoon I needed another pain pill.........

I'm going to take a cat nap ...........I've been fighting a sleepy feeling all day........probably pain meds....

will try to get online later for personals...

I went to my TOPS meeting this morning and lost another pound! I have been losing more than that for the last few weeks so it was hard to not get discouraged until I remembered that a pound is still a pound and it is not a gain.

Annie-it's hard not to have an identity crisis when you look in the mirror and don't recognize yourself. The demons that caused us to get overweight in the first place don't miraculously disappear with the weight. You're just having to go through stuff in 6 months that I have been able to spread out over 6 years. It's a bummer to be over 40, and just now trying to figure out what we want to be when we grow up.

Debbie-Talking to other people who understand where I'm at, where I've been, keeps me sane. It's the reason I never read or post anywhere except the weekly thread. Other posts in the 300+ area get answered by people who are 150 trying to lose 20 pounds, and that just pulls my chain. I find it easier on my blood pressure to stay in my little safe corner. For example, if I try to talk to someone about being afraid to fly, not because I'm afraid it will crash, but I'm afraid of the humiliation I may encounter, they just don't get it. It took my husband over 2 years to finally get it. We have to help each other, because basically, who else is going to?

Toni: Congrats on loosing a pound. Woo hoo. Another one bites the dust.

Catherine: Yep. I'm feeling lots of those things right now. Loss of time, loss of self. etc. I'm sure with God's help I will get through it. Well, and the help of all of you guys! Hugs.

I mowed the front and back yards and gave my dogs a bath, Whew that is a chore. I also cleaned out their water dishes and the little kiddie pool that we have for them. My black lab actually gets in it multiple times througout the day. Since I gave them a bath I figured it would be better for them to be clean when they get in it. I haven't done the rest of my kitchen yet. That is just basically wiping down counters with pine sol etc. I did the frig last night. I also need to change my sheets on my bed and do laundry. I took a bunch, not literally, lol, of bananas out of the freezer to make banana bread. I am hoping to make some zuchini bread too. Waiting to cool down and also rest a bit. It took me 2 and 1/2 hours to mow and bathe my dogs. It is so hot outside I actually got a sun tan on my feet and legs. lol.

Blessings all,
Annie

Annie - When you said "It took me 2 and 1/2 hours to mow and bathe my dogs." I had this silly picture in my head of you 'mowing' your dogs before you bathed them. I suppose that COULD help to reduce the shedding in the bath!! Sorry, just the way my mind is this morning. It is kinda mush, so things are taking a little while to process.

***

The reason my mind is mush is because this past week at school has been constantly on the go. We have had the IT guys in the school to move us over to the new system and with a school the size of ours (650+ kids and about 80 staff) this has been a VERY large job. Being one of the IT coordinators, this has basically been the ONLY thing I have done all week. The first three days were mentally AND physically exhausting, although more physical, because I was walking around the school constantly, sorting out printers and changing settings on computers (we have just over 100 desktop computers and 21 staff laptops) and coordinating between the technicians and the Education Department staff. My back was getting quite sore because it wasn't worth sitting at a computer to sort it out before moving on to the next one, so I just bent over each one. NOT a good idea. Thursday and Friday have been mostly mental work, as we have been getting training on how the new system works and how we will be able to manage it. I am a little overwhelmed because I got into this role as I want to increase the use of IT in the school, and can use most forms of IT competently, however I do NOT have a very technical mind, so I have had to write a LOT of notes about what we are doing. They are a bit of a mess at the moment and my job over the weekend will be to get them typed up to make some kind of sense. This coming week is going to be mostly training and finishing off sorting out the computers. Hopefully things will be up and running and then the Ed Dept people will go around the school with us troubleshooting anything/everything that does crop up. I have had a relief (sub) teacher in for my music lessons and I kind of miss the contact with the kids, but it has probably been very well timed as I just got over my third bout of laryngitis, so this will give my voice a good rest.
So... THAT is why my mind is a little like mush this morning. I will get back to other personal replies over the weekend (hopefully).

Take care,

Zelma

Crankiness
 

Hi all,

I am tired, headachy, and in general grumpy. Probably not the ideal time to be posting, but I am. I have worked about 21 days in a row, and I am tired doggone it. :headache:

My weight loss seems non-existent. I did poorly a few days this week, intentionally (kind of, to see if I can kick start the weight loss). Haven't biked in a few days, and I am tired. Not doing it today, but I need to get it in gear for tomorrow. We are also planting plants, putting up a fountain, and tidying up the yard tomorrow. (We got ugly bushes pulled out of the front yard, now we need to redo the flower beds.)

Sunday I need to work. The good thing is I can work from home on weekends, but still, tired of working. I do have next Friday off, but that to me feels like dooms day, as that is the day I have my blood work for diabetes. The good news for that day is I also go see the jeweler about my husband's ring. Starting that process.

Allow me to come clean about some jealousy issues I have. ZedAus, I also look at your avatar and think "good lord that woman is thin, what is she doing here". I took time tonight to look at your online photos. Congrats to you, you have come soooo far. And I know you worked hard at it, but I feel some jealousy. Annie, same with you. You are a phenom!! But, I feel like a failure compared to you. I don't feel like I can benchmark against any of you on here, as you all are able to do better than I am. Pity party? Apparently. Blah.

So, I guess I will end the post here tonight. Sorry I wasn't very value added.

Angie

drs office wants me to keep a log for a few more days...i have been keeping one for 3 yrs I have been on bp med.ggrrrr She told me to come in and weigh on tuesday and have it checked then. I have been going out there to weigh once a month. Just a silly mind game im playing with myself. But it does seem to be working!
We had a beautiful day here in ky more like spring than aug. It was only in the lower 80s and no humidity ;o)
I did get some cleaning done today but spent most of the day at the playground with my kids. It was to nice to be inside.
heading to bed early again.
weigh in tommorow and im not expecting much after my pigfeast on tuesday ..plus i think last weeks loss was to big to be true.
Have a good night everyone
debi

Angie...

I think you touched on something that a lot of us go through. I am not so much jealous of people's outcomes so much as their willpower and determination, their available resources and the time they seem to have for themselves. I know that if I was willing to make the choice I could do a lot more for myself in terms of cooking and exercising...if I was willing to get up earlier and change my schedule a bit. I know that success does not come without effort. I am inspired by the people who have lost so much...and everyone on here who comes in and posts regardless of their progress and state of mind. I just try not to get mired in my internal whining about what I don't have and can't do because all that will do is get me back where I started which is a place I never want to be again!

Another NSV today...went to a restaurant that I really like and instead of having what I was desiring (and was not a good choice) I opted for something else delicious and much healthier. But mark my words...one of these days I will order the peanut butter banana french toast and not feel guilty about it. Made some lovely orange roughy and asparagus for dinner with a mock apple crumble using oatmeal, almonds and splenda brown sugar. Then we watched the opening ceremonies and did laundry and sweated to death...now it's off to bed.

TOMORROW (Saturday) I am meeting Luan and getting the Gazelle!!!

Adios...

Angie - Sorry that you are feeling so down at the moment. I truly hope that there is some light at the end of the tunnel for you. Is working so many days in a row a common thing for you, or is this just a busy time? I will keep my fingers crossed that your blood work comes back fine... maybe even GREAT.
I am sorry, but I had to chuckle a little about you being jealous of me. I haven't been courageous enough to actually come on here and tell MANY people on here how jealous I am of them. I watch so many people eating well and exercising well and losing weight and then I look at myself, also eating well (well, most of the time) and exercising well (just not working my butt off like I did when I was losing) and I see my scale sitting in the same spot it was 12 months ago. I have gained a few pounds from my lowest weight and I would love to lose that extra weight, and it depresses me that so many people here a losing weight and I'm not. Now... I am also probably not being as good as I could/should be, but I am still jealous! It actually messes with my mind a little. I know I am MUCH healthier, fitter and smaller than I used to be, but I feel as though I could be doing better. There are days when I look in the mirror and wink at myself and tell myself what an amazing job I've done and then there are days when I look at myself and think "Why can't you be as committed as Annie (insert any other successful name from here) and just get back down to that lower weight?" At times I feel like Jeckyl and Hyde.
Anyway... I just wanted to let you know that even those of us who make people jealous are jealous of others. I'm not sure when we'll ever be totally happy, but at least I am 'happier'.

Bernice - I was surprise that school was back already for you. Has time just flown by or did you not have a very long break? How many weeks did you get off? I hope that this year goes smoothly for you. I know that you would have enjoyed something different in the line of work, but I know that your darlings will REALLY appreciate having you work with them and I also know how they can put a smile on your face for just the smallest of things at times (as well as have you tearing your hair out the next minute) so I hope your year is full of smiles and 'aha' moments.

Julee - Congrats on your good choice at the restaurant. SEE!!! I am still a little jealous that you were able to make a good choice when I just pigged out! But I know that for a LONG time I made those good choices, and I got the great results, and now I have to accept that I may just sit a little heavier than I would like, but I can also have a few special meals now and then, which I may be able to cope with.
When we meet next January I'll let you pick somewhere for us to get a drink/snack. I'm sure you'll make a great choice! Well, maybe Luan will know somewhere good too huh?

***

We have just returned from a 'date'. Hubby took me out to our favourite place for lunch to celebrate/commiserate over the past week and help prepare us for the coming week. Hubby is the head cleaner (janitor) at my school and he is also our ICT co-ordinator/go-between, so he has been involved in the new changeover. That has made for VERY long days for him, as he does the morning clean, then the IT work, then the afternoon clean. He is basically at school for 13 hours a day at the moment. Poor baby. Mind you, at least we are getting to spend lots of extra time together. It is also great that he is there to help me along when I get lost with all the technological terminology.
The place we ate at is a buffet and they have the most wonderful foods and I always know I'll eat too much, especially the desserts (YUMMM!!!), but I also know I'll go back to healthy eating the minute we leave and I will exercise a little harder this coming week to cater for it as best I can. It is something I just have to do now and then. We probably go there about 3 times a year, and it is a VERY special treat for us. I think I get carried away with the desserts because I don't have anything like that the rest of the time, so I just thoroughly enjoy the taste of everything. All those incredible flavours.

So, now I have admitted that I am in a weird mood about not losing more weight and then I have admitted that I just pigged out on WAY too much food. Do I now admit that I am just CRAZY! I'll sort myself out one day.

I hope you are all having a wonderful weekend... well, as good as you possibly can.

Take care,

Zelma

Well I weighed in and am happy to say I stayed the same!! Thankful is more like it!! I came in right on calories everyday but one...but that day was WAY WAY over!
Got to get moving early today and get ready to head 45 min to my daughter in laws baby shower. I am so excited!! I got online last night and peeked at her registry. I was worried she wouldnt get her bedding but she got it. I cant wait to see the nursery all put together.
hope everyone has a wonderful weekend and be sure and drink your water(thats goes for me too!)
hugs
debi

Good morning Peeps

Angie - sorry about feeling the way you are - if you remember I posted a similar jealousy issue last week. You're doing great. I wish I was a fast loser - I'm not and most days I can accept that but other days it is so under my skin. Hang in there.

Annie - yesterday I did zucchini/banana bread all in one - not the healthy kind. A good friends father passed away and she asked if we could provide desert for 50 - so I was a baking fool yesterday.

Debbie - how are ya? Sorry about the last turmoil with your son - hopefully he will make a well-informed decision.

That's it for me - in addition to the funeral for our friends dad it is DHs family reunion today - AT OUR HOUSE. We will come home - have enough time to change and do that for the rest of the day/evening.

Hugs to all,
Carol

ok... i just posted my weigh and i was actually down .2 I thought i was .2 last week but i was .4. LOL maybe I hadnt had enough coffee when i looked at it.LOL
off to get ready for the shower..hugs

Angie -- I think jealousy is normal in these situations. We are inspired by and jealous sometimes all at the same time.

I'm in Zelma's boat right now. I've gained back 10 pounds (11?) since my low weight and I know exactly why. It's all on me. I don't have the mojo I once did and it's easy to look around at the people who do have it and think "why not me". So, even though I've lost over 100 pounds I have jealousy sometimes too.

I think if we do this for a long time we will all have times we are thrown "off" -- for whatever reason. How far off we get, how much weight we let slip back on might vary, and it doesn't have to mean we put all the weight back on, thankfully. but I think we have to be prepared for the fact that it will happen at some time.

That all said, I'm putting my foot down about my weight gain. I'm ready to take it off again.

G'morning all!

I've washed and bleached the popup camper that I haven't used for 2 years in a row. Poor old thing. It's 18 years old and I've had it 16 of those years. I think it's time to sell it. Well, opened it up after the wash and no ants! yay! Those silly sugar ants always try to make a home in the edges where the top and bottom meet. I need to fix the ceiling (the contact paper needs a better adhesive) and let it air out and then it's going on craig's list. I had some good times with that silly thing.

Angie, major hugs and understanding. As the kids text, BTDT (been there done that). I've been overworked and trying hard to eat healthy and gain weight! Meanwhile, I marvel at the inspiration that people have here. My take on these feelings and frustrations.....

These are normal feelings and frustrations. Yikes! You're normal *gasp* hehe. These things will happen because life happens whether we are ready or not. Meanwhile, there are things I can do to regroup. I am lucky that I have leave and a job where I can take time off to rest. In this economy, I wouldn't suggest doing that if you can't do it easily. The next thing I do is to change my mentality as I go thru job related stress.. let me just maintain!! I find that I've maintained a lot more than lost in the last 3 years (the first year I was gungho and lost the majority of my weight then). I'd rather not lose a pound a year until I reach goal *does math.. will be 125 yrs old then* but if that's what happens, it's better than gaining it all back. Hang in there and take baby steps to reduce your frustrations!! I'm here for hugs at any time :)

Oh and BTW, discussing frustrations and feelings while on this journey whether they are positive or negative are ALWAYS value-adding. Never think that talking about stuff isn't!!!!

Luv,
Ratkity