Okay, so this is about the lowest thing I've ever heard a person say about me. My mama always said what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger. So I have got to live by my mothers words!.
My dear, dear friend Kate has just come back from the middle-east with her family for a month. (Her husband, who was my husbands best man at our wedding is in the oil business) She hadn't seen me since Christmas and I was excited to surprise her, so I hadn't mentioned my weight loss. She knows the struggles I've had with weight, as she has had in the past and has always been supportive. She was full of lovely complements and questions and words of encouragement when we saw each other for the first time last night. After gabbing nonstop for several hours, she mentioned that her SIL Mary, (Who lives near me and is also very overweight) had told her about my weight loss previously, (I had asked Mary not to mention it ). Kate knows Mary drives me insane, and she also gets very annoyed at her.
Anyway, I rolled my eyes and then Kate continues, (you have to understand that Kate an I are very close, and tell each other everything)...SIL Mary also says to her..."No need to get jealous because we both know the next time you come back, (at Christmas) she'll have gained it all back plus more..."
I am a woman on a mission now. I have to meet my goal, and maintain it forever and ever and ever!!!!
What (meant to be negative) things have people said that keep you motivated?
Yikes. Ugh... that was a petty comment to make. The best revenge is to live well and, like you said, to ACCOMPLISH YOUR GOAL and keep the weight off forever. Definitely a case of envy -- you're losing weight, she's still fat.
The comments that get me are the ones that aren't meant to be mean, but to me, are a stab in the chest! Like, you're pretty even when you're big...or I like thick girls like you...uh. I know they meant well but damn it still hurts!!
Wow... that is a horrible thing to say, but great at the same time since it is motivating. For me the one thing that has stuck with me was when I was about 10 I overheard somebody trying to describe me to somebody else and I was referred to as "the pudgy one with the brown hair and glasses". Sometimes people don't realize the weight of their words
That would be motivating for me as well-- I am stubborn!
My (thin teenage) dd constantly makes comments that she *thinks* are compliments, but aren't.
Just yesterday we were watching a show about plastic surgery and they showed a woman with a very large stomach. dd proceeds to tell me my stomach *used* to look like that. Yikes! She meant it as a compliment but it sure didn't sound like one to me!!
It's bad enough for Mary to have said it (not a close friend, right? and besides not directly to you), but why on earth did Kate feel the need to pass that tidbit onto you? Not sure who I would be more upset with (yes I do - Kate).
It's bad enough for Mary to have said it (not a close friend, right? and besides not directly to you), but why on earth did Kate feel the need to pass that tidbit onto you? Not sure who I would be more upset with (yes I do - Kate).
I agree! You friend should never have repeated what was said. I'm sorry that woman said something so mean...but your friend should have kept it to herself.
I agree its mean!! I can relate to how you feel...I had a similar thing said about my weight loss.I have lost 90lbs in the past on gained it all back plus a few extra. SO I understand how they said it...but it still hurt!! I will show them this time !! I will not gain it back PLus I will loose more!!
debi
Kaplods and LandonBaby - agreed, I too though it was odd that Kate would share something so nasty with me. Even though we talk about every thing from BM's to Zits it was probably something I would have kept to myself. All I can think is that Kate might have thought it would make me more determined....I duno. At this point what ever works. LOL I was at a fundraiser for Relay for Life last night and there were a lot of people there I hadn't seen in several months...Mary was also helping at the same booth, and I kid you not, after about the 3rd compliment, Mary put her hands over her ears and walked away. I almost felt bad about it. It's hard to explain.
I was at a fundraiser for Relay for Life last night and there were a lot of people there I hadn't seen in several months...Mary was also helping at the same booth, and I kid you not, after about the 3rd compliment, Mary put her hands over her ears and walked away. I almost felt bad about it. It's hard to explain.
You obviously know Mary well. To feel bad for her means you are full of compassion for her situation. I applaude that. Hopefully she can figure out how to cover her ears AND her eyes to hide from your continuing success! Or learn how to be happy for you. I would rather her get a grasp on the second option!
How awful--- what likewise "big" person would EVER wish a lifetime of fatness on someone? I don't care if you were a STRANGER--- (and I can be REALLY mean) but how could you NOT be like "oh man, good for her. I hope that she can do this forever"
Just mean. She must hate herself and have low self-esteem to put down others such a way.
So yeah, girl--- if not for yourself, DO THIS and prove her W-R-O-N-G!!
I was told one time.. "if you lost some weight, you'd be a real fox."
That was years ago and my BFF and I still laugh about it. Even my Hubby laughs with us now!!
Wonder what that person's up to now?
The comments that get me are the ones that aren't meant to be mean, but to me, are a stab in the chest! Like, you're pretty even when you're big...or I like thick girls like you...uh. I know they meant well but damn it still hurts!!
Oscar Wilde said "A true friend stabs you in the front."
I do think Kate was being a true friend by letting you know what's being said behind your back. My friends are that way. We are perfectly comfortable telling each other that something we are doing is stupid also. How in the world are you going to know how your behaviors effect others and therefore yourself.
Besides, I really hate finding out that I've been being friendly to someone who has actually been putting one betweeen my shoulder blades. The only way for me to find that out is if a real friend tells me. Afterall, we all have to ask someone else how an outfit looks from behind. Do you want an honest answer, or do you want to walk around town with a funny looking butt that you think looks hot, so you're showing it off as much a possible.
OMG...talk about motivation!
). Kate knows Mary drives me insane, and she also gets 
I also think that Mary sounds jealous of you.
