HI Everyone,
I'm still off sick today, but am feeling better, just no energy.
I did manage to take out all my old clothes out of the closet and
drawers. I've actually gone from a 5x last summer to a 2X-3x right now.
I'm gonna see if my son can take the two HUGE bags of clothes to good will
today so they're gone forever. I did save 2 pair of "fat pants" for future
motivation. It's cool and scary at the same time to think I have no more clothes that are too big for me around. Now, I can just focus on getting smaller sizes.
It was weird going through those clothes. I found the outfit I wore to my oldest daughter's wedding, my youngest daughter's wedding, my son's wedding and my step daughter's wedding. It was sad to give them up in a way.
I've found I'm back to being scared about being successful on my program.
And at the same time I'm afraid of failure cuz I HATE the way I look.
I think once I get below 250 I'll feel better. Cuz that will mean I'm half way there. I'm scared about the saggy skin. When I met dh I was at about 180-185. Way too much for my little frame. But, I had previously been up to 250. And, I had the nastiest, saggiest looking thighs you ever saw. Yeah, my legs looked good in jeans, but naked, PUKE! How are we suppose to feel good about our selves when we have all that stuff saggin around. I think I'll just at my self in the mirror when I'm dressed and have that hot butt!
I think I'm afraid of what my husband will think and feel. Stupid, huh?
Anyway, I was motivated by Annie to clean out the closet. And, I am excited to go to Walmart or the mall, see something on clearance that's adorable, just a little tight and be confident in buying it anyway cuz I know I'll be able to wear it in x number of months/weeks.
My next big day is April 18th.
My sisters and I (and Abby cuz she can't stand to be away from her mama)
Are meeting in Alabama to bury my mom's ashes. (we lost her last august for those of you that don't know ....any of you that know the whole story of my mom and I, feel free to fill them in, I'd rather not think about it)
Anyway, I've lost about 25 pounds since then. It's only a month away. I'd be happy to be about 280 in April. I think it's doable. It's roughly 15 pounds and it's what 5-6 weeks away.
Then my next goal is to be 250 or under by my son's wedding June 21st.
Anyway, I just wanted you all to know I finally am ditching those old too big clothes. BTW, most of the stuff I found I can wear. They're 2x's. I still need the 3x for the bottom half of me, but that's ok. It's getting smaller too. It's those blasted german genetics.
TTFN, hope all are well.
Sandy