[midnight92887]

I know this sounds sad and pathetic. I have been overweight since i can remember. I have only had one boyfriend but i don't think that it should even count because it was like preteen boyfriend girlfriend stuff. But my over all thing is that i am lonely. And duh i'm fat so nobody even takes any intrest. Basically I'm a little depressed that i still don't have a boyfriend and i am 20 yrs old. I honestly think that it is pretty sad.

So my overall question is.. Are there any guys out there that don't care about size but care about the person underneath the fat?

[CatherineM]

Yes there are. I'm married to one. What I had to do first, was learn to like myself. I didn't believe anyone could love me, and why would they, if I couldn't even love myself. Until that happens, until you are satisfied with yourself, you don't have anything to offer someone who is worth you love. There are lots of guys who will take advantage and use people like us. The ones who will love you for who you are inside are out there, and worth looking for, but you have to work on yourself first, and I don't mean lose weight. I couldn't start to lose weight, until I cared enough about myself to realize it was worth the effort.

[Heather]

Catherine speaks truth... as usual!

When I was your age I hadn't had a boyfriend either, and I was at my high weight of 220 at the time. I didn't start dating really until I was in my late 20s, and by that time I weighed even more. I didn't really succeed at dating until I realized I was worth dating!

My husband met me at 220 and loved me up to 295 and back down to 175.

They are out there.

[kayleystar]

YES!!! I'm engaged to one! Heather & Catherine pretty much said it all. They usually do. You're not pathetic. Although, I thought that way for a long time. I'm 21, and my fiance is my first boyfriend. I didn't meet him until I was 18.

[NaturalStupidit]

I'm pretty much in the same position as kayleystar - I didn't have a boyfriend until I was 18, almost 19 and now we've been together for a little over 2 years and hopefully when he's done with school we plan on getting married. He loves me for ME.

[aprilmay]

Yes there are. I didn't have my first boyfriend until I was 23. Looking back I know the problem was me, I felt so insecure. Guys sense that. Now at 30 I feel a lot better about myself. I've had a few boyfriends and am dating a great guy. So, hang in there!

[jar1965]

Hi midnight girl! Big ol' hugs to you sweetheart! First, I have to say the other girls really did sum things up! If I repeat anything, sorry!
I have always been a "big" girl myself. FIRST & FOREMOST - You have to take time - pride and interest in yourself! You must learn to like yourself! No matter what............it is your choice, stay heavy and like yourself or lose weight and LOVE yourself.........either way........do it! Do your hair and make-up, take long bath's, use perfume, make yourself feel pretty and then when you look in the mirror, learn to tell yourself you are pretty! Once you open up to yourself, you'll be able to open up to others! Like.......guys!

Stay focused! On whatever you may be doing in life RIGHT NOW. Studies, job, family, pets, volunteer, go to church..........................MEET NEW FRIENDS......men & women! Laugh! If you see someone without a smile, give them yours. Always wear one! Don't let the world see you without one.

I have a 20 year old daughter - she was born in Septembet 1987 - like you! And she is short and overweight! She is beautiful thats for sure. She has never had a boyfriend and though she really really wants one.............she is busy right now!!!!! She is going to Beauty School to be a hair stylist and she works full time as a manager for a little company in our town. She loves her life and though gets down sometimes.........she really is a positive breath of fresh air for all overweight "20" year old girls! Honey, I wish you the best and hope you find yourself soon. Big hugs~!

[azcyn]

Yes..there are guys like that. Me and my hubby met when I was 16. I was thin then and have grown since then,,but he sticks with me no matter what. I would try and worry about you getting healthy...I am sure the right guy will come along. And being 20 and not having a boyfriend is not the worse thing in the world..it gives you time to work on you!!

Keep your chin up!!

[AmbieP]

There are lots of guys! I think attitude it everything. When I was dating of course I had to have a physical attraction to someone but I dated people who attracted me with their personality. Think of it like would you want to date someone that was always down on themselves? I sure didn't I don't care what they looked like! Attitude is everything in my opinion. I always dated someone from the time I was 15 to when I got married and I have always been fat. I got married when I was 24 to a great and very good looking guy. There is lots of someones out there for you. Just love yourself and they will too!