I'm new here and I will apologize ahead of time because this might be long. I am really, really depressed tonight and I just need some advice.
I have been overweight my entire life. I have a best friend who I have known all my life, she is also overweight although she is much bigger than me right now. My friend has made the decision to have weight loss surgery and has been talking to me a lot about it. I am now wondering whether I should just suck it up and do it.
Back about ten years ago, between low fat and low carb dieting and lots of walking and weight training, I had gotten myself from 350 down to 250. Although still overweight, I felt great. I ended up hitting a plateu and when I went to see an endocronologist to find out why, I found out I had PCOS. I started different courses of meds and slowly started gaining some weight.
Then I met my wonderful, very skinny crazy metabolism husband about 5 years ago. Without even realizing, I started packing weight back on as I ate away with and baked for him. I gained almost all of it back. I still can't forgive myself for that.
We have been trying desperately to get pregnant but with the weight and the PCOS, it has not happened.
I am so utterly torn right now. I am miserable at this weight, back to the place where I fear small plane seats and have no clothes that fit. I know that weight loss would also increase my chances of getting pregnant.
All this said - as great as weight loss surgery sounds - something in me feels like it's just not right for me. I have done it - why can't I do it again? However, losing so much weight so quickly sounds like a dream.
I am just very lost tonight and very down. I really need support and advice to help me figure this out. I am grateful for anyone who can help.
I think this is a very tough and very personal decision. You really need to gather as much information as possible to help you make a decision. It is NOT a decision that should be made on the spur of the moment. You need time to sort through info.
I hope that our dear Annie (dogpal) responds to this thread, as she has made this decision.
I also recommend you check out the Weight Loss Surgery forum here at 3fc. A great resource with a number of people who may have a lot of info and resources for you.
In the meantime, feel free to join us on the weekly numbered thread! It moves fast, but it's full of people who share a lot of the issues you're going through!
The quick answer is: eat less and move more. I started just by watching portions and PLANNING -- bringing lunches and snacks to work. But I calorie count now -- I lost most of my weight eating 2000 calories/day, so I don't starve myself. Then my plan evolved and I started paying more attention to nutrition, etc.
And as for exercise, that's a big nemesis for me. Still. I have to make myself do it. As you can see from my signature, I set exercise goals for myself each month. I started out much lower and started building... and even these days the goals vary based on how much time I think I will have to work out. I mostly do cardio, weightlifting and yoga. Again, I really built up to that over time.
I lost my first 100 pounds in just over a year. For me, it was about consistency and commitment. ... and the other "C"s in my signature!!!!
KP – First off, here is a . Second – it may not be easy, but you need to forgive yourself. You may have gained what you lost back but it isn’t the end of the world and it doesn’t make you a failure.
One thought is that you don’t have to make a decision right away. Leave it on the back burner for now and try to lose weight on your own first. However, you might want to go to a doctor to document this so in case you do decide to pursue surgery often times they require a period of time when you have tried on your own. You also should ask about how surgery can affect pregnancy. I know that one of the issues is that you are less able to absorb vitamins, so I am not sure how that might affect a developing baby and/or breastfeeding.
Like Heather, I also encourage you to read the weight loss surgery section of this board. One thing that seems to be a common theme is that it is a tool, but it is not a fix. You still have to really work at it and deal with the issues of what caused you to become overweight in the first place.
I'm new too, and I feel your pain. Trust me though after a few days on the boards the amount of love and acceptance is WONDERFUL!
I have not had WL surgery. I know one person who has had it and has had no complications and wonderful results. I've contemplated surgery myself and came up with this reasoning about making a decision:
If I am questioning it, there is a reason why...I am not ready to take the surgical route. I really feel that when surgery is right for someone, they KNOW deep down that this is it, this is the last option, exercise and diet alone did not help them enough to make them well and they need more than the traditional approach.
WL surgery like any has risks involved, and will never be a "cure all"...BUT I am also a FIRM believer that this surgery in particular, saves lives and can improve the quality of life dramatically!
I would talk to your doctor about the surgery, and USE THIS BOARD to get input from people who have decided to get the surgery and those who have not...I think there is even a specific forum for WL surgery...I'm sure you will find people in the same position that you are in now.
Welcome to our lovely, safe environment. I lovvvve the people here and want to give you a huge welcome.
I have been in your shoes for sure. I was at 510 pounds for quite a few years. Like 6. Before that I was around 350ish. I tried, with all my heart, to lose weight. I stuck to weight watchers diet from November of 2006 to March of 2007, like GLUE. I never ever cheated that whole time and I exercised as much as my big ole body could. I started out so slow at literally 5 minutes a day. By March I was up to about 30 minutes a day. All that time I went from 510 pounds to 494.5 pounds. I was so depressed, devastated, ashamed, the list goes on and on. Why couldn't I lose weight. In the meantime, my heart was starting to do "funny" things. I was only 40 years old at the time. I had abnormal ekg's taking tons of medications for high blood pressure, panic disorder/depression/agoraphobia, a prescription water pill, potassium because of the water pill. An aspirin a day. Not to bore you or go into too much detail. I was serious finally about loosing weight and trying like I said with all my heart. Nothing was budging. a 510 pound person doing exercises every single day and not cheating on her diet should be loosing more than 15.5 pounds in 5 months! So, I went to my Dr.
My Dr. ran tests and found I have metabolic things going on due to years of trying to lose weight to get like 30-40 pounds off only to regain that same weight plus 10 0r 20 more! She asked me to please consider weight loss surgery. It wasn't the first time she had asked me to think about it. I poo pooed it away the first time she had asked me because my thoughts about weight loss surgery were:
1. I knew it was for a last resort. I hadn't truthfully tried my hardest to lose weight.
2. Wasn't that cheating to have surgery to lose weight?
3. The easy way out.
4. What will people think.
Well, this time when she asked me I knew the answer to #1 I truly had tried with my whole hart to loose the weight this time with no results.
2. It is hard work. Weight loss surgery really is just a tool. It isn't a miracle answer. Not cheating. I have worked my butt off to loose this weight just like every other person on this board has when they have lost weight. No weight is just falling off. I do have some help with how much I can eat but the exericse and eating the right things are still my choice and my fault if I don't do it the way I should.
3. I researched and there wasn't going to be a darn thing easy about weight loss surgery. It is a very hard road if you choose it. You are doing something with your body but, it could very well help me to prolong my life where without it, I was gonna die soon.
4. Funny thing is this was the HARDEST one of all to come to terms with. What will people think. Well, the bottom line is: WHO CARES what other people think. They are not walking around in a 5'9.5 inch tall body that is meant to carry maybe 180 pounds MAX that is actually carrying around 494.5 pounds. That is an extra 315 pounds I was carrying around! So, I had to do what is best for Annie. That one was gonna take some time. I wasn't used to thinking about me first at all. I was the good girl who always did for others before I would ever think about doing something nice for me.
I have to say that you are the only one who can make the decision to have surgery or not. If you are at all considering it I would say talk to your Dr. about it. Get more info from her/him about it. Check out "Weight Loss Surgery For Dummies" book from the library. I talke to God about it a lot. My older brother passed away in November of 2006 that is what started me on my health journey to really take my life seriously. I didn't want to die because I was FAT. My brother died because he smoked and didn't take care of himself. I didn't want that for me. That is what motivated me. To honor my brother with the lesson his passing away gave to me. For myself first and foremost, then my hubby and also for my brother. It was the right decision for me. I say think about it more. Come around here as much as you can. You get inspired believe me.
I lost 121 pounds before my weight loss surgery on a strict, Dr. supervised liquid diet. The rest of the weight has been since my surgery on August 29th of this year. I am so happy. If I loose another 6.5 pounds this year I will have lost 200 pounds this year! I feel so much better. I am no longer on Any of the previous mentioned medications except Potassium. For some reason I am still low on it without taking it. That's okay. NO more heart problems. I can move around, go for walks without hurting, swim, bike, etc. For me it was all worth the journey.
I hope that helps sweetie. If I can ever help you anymore please ask, pm me whatever. I am here as we are all here to encourage and support each other.
Really need some help tonight...
WELCOME!!
