Hey everyone!!!

My name is Malissa, I am a 24 year old that is soooo tired of being fat. I need to make a HUGE change NOW. I just don't know what to do. I am so tired of being sad. I am especially tired of being single, ugh. Big girls need love too.

Anyways, I ran upon this site and I just sat and cried reading some of the stories and support from people. I need help so bad. I have family and friends that are overweight, but they just don't want to change at this time. I don't have a lot of money so I can't afford a gym membership at this time.

I think that I weight about 340, I won't know for sure until tomorrow( I have to go buy a stupid scale). I have ALWAYS been overweight, always been made fun of and now is the time to fix this.
I know that I will never be able to have kids at this weight and that's a good reason why I am here, so if you could please find it in ur heart to share some advice, I would really appreciate it.

Thanks in advance!

You're in the right place, I'm still taking advice and learning so I can't give you advice but I can help support you and root you on!!!!!

You are in the right place We all know you can break this down into steps and work it.

You're already taking a step by purchasing a scale. When you know where you're starting from, you'll have a place to look back at down the road a few months from now.

Do you have a food or exercise plan? Or maybe just a small step that you'd like to take towards losing weight? Tell us about it. We wanna know. And we wanna help with what we can.

There's plenty that you can do to lose weight while on a budget.

Keep posting! You CAN do this!

Hi Melissa! I think it is great you sound determined to start! I like everyone else will be sure to be around to give you those words of encouragement when you need them. Having kids is a great motivator, too.

Where do you plan to start? What kind of food plan do you have in mind?

Malissa welcome! This site..and mainly this group is wonderful! And I truley mean that! They are here to support you whether that means crying along side you or kickin your butt in gear!!

You don't need a gym membership..as anyone here take it slow one small change at a time.

I have started with small goals.. ( I know Carol I gotta post them lol ) By small goals I mean, I took a calander and wrote one thing a day that I would do to change my life. Example: Tomorrow..I have drink 4 glasses of water while at work. That does not mean I wont have a soda..but I will drink the water. I also have an exercise calander. Example: Tomorrow I am doing 20 jumping jacks, and 20 sqwarts and repeating 3 times before I go to work.

I don't do large goals like Loose 20 lbs before this such date. For me..this is not a reachable goal. I use to say I'll do 300 min exercise this month, only to find myself cramming it all in the last 2 weeks of the month. Soo this is why I set small goals I can acheive everyday. I will start to challenge myself more as I get further along. If you need a GOAL buddy let me know...We can exchange email or if you have aim or yahoo!

Take everything slow and really pay attenetion to what your body needs. You will realize how little changes make you feel better! Then ...the weight will come off.

Melissa,
Cyn is right about the small goals, trying to do everything at once is a set up for failing, one I have been through uncountable times in my adult life. Try to change/work on one thing at a time until you have a few victories under your belt. This builds confidence and you will be flying high in no time! We are all here for you.

Thanks everyone for replying, it means a lot, I'm not used to people actually caring enough to ask about me or take an interest. I am not sure what I am going to do for weight loss. I have tried everything in the past, every "fad" diet you can think of. I know which ones worked at the time, but once i stopped you better believe that they weight flew back on, plus. I liked doing weight watchers, especially since I know the program, but when I was doing ww once I stopped going to the meetings that is when I pretty muched stopped the whole thing. This week I was trying to eat better, by doing weight watchers, but Tuesday I had a meeting that didnt get over till 8, so i stopped at rallys to get something to eat because i was to lazy to cook. I dont like a lot of veggies, I am a VERY picky eater. You can't tell by looking at me, but there isn't a lot of things that I like. I am a meat and potatoes kinda girl. So I really dont know what to do. I lack discipline very much so. I want a change, but i just dont know how to do it. I need to see results, in which i know that it is a slow process, i didnt get this way over night, but once i stop seeing results, thats usually when i stop trying. Thanks everyone

Well. I'm a WW member myself. So I can attest to the fact that it works well. I do go to meetings, but you mentioned that you don't have a whole lot of cash so that may not be possible right now.

You're already taking steps to watch what you eat by following the WW program on your own, which is hard work! And you should be proud of yourself. One slip-up does not a waste make. You'll find that a lot of people slip-up from time to time. The difference is that we all get up and get right back to it.

There's a WW area under Diet Central that you might want to join in on, too. Talk with others doing it at home. If you really enjoy talking to people in person, there's an organization called "TOPS" (Taking Off The Pounds Sensibly) and they meet in many areas of the US for a very small yearly fee instead of a monthly one. They also allow members to choose their own plans. So if you like WW, you can follow the program, but meet up with people from TOPS to talk about weight loss.

Then, of course, I suggest you come to 3FC often. It's an amazing online support group. And we know that any small step you take towards your goal is a step in the right direction, and we want you to get there. We know you can get there!

There's also a section on this forum for people who don't like a lot of veggies. Look there for ideas on how to get more into your food. Or how to make the most of the veggies you do like.

It might take a lot of time to find something that works the way you need it to, but it is WORTH it. Keep at this. Stick with the small changes. Let us know if there's anything we can try to help out with.

More stuff ... that just popped into my head as I was re-reading what you wrote.

I know that we all want to see results and we want them ASAP! In order to get around that, we often need to have other goals that are non-weight related. For example, this week my goal was to exercise in some fashion for 30 minutes each day. In the end, achieving this goal will help me lose weight, but the focus is on the exercise, NOT the scale.

You may also want to read this (as I found it a good read): http://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/showthread.php?t=42463

Welcome to the site!

There are many of us in the same boat. Tell us what kind of foods that you do like and maybe we can help you out. Do you go to college? Many colleges have gyms. Hope to see you post more often!

Hi Malissa,

I am on the same boat as you. I am also so tired of being fat. I finally decided, that I will NOT let myself gain anymore. I will keep my head up and eat right. for myself first of all. and then all my loved ones. I did a search on youtube - fat woman - and i cried looking at all those people and do NOT want to be like that. they are people too, but they just do not care anymore. So, I snapped, just like that. And i have vowed not to be one of them. I swore to my husband this morning, I told him that I put my weight loss on my marriage! Now, I have to do it. I never swear, unless i am for real. and I have no choice now. It helps me in my own head. NOT to have any choice now, but to lose the weight. hey, whatever pops my cookies right? and all the nice things that my hubby told me in return? How nice and better I will look and feel. and all the nice clothes that i can buy off the rack? and how i can go on a clothing shopping spree!!! Don't think anymore, just do it. You are beautiful now, but think how more beautiful you can be. this is me talking from my heart. I will be here for you.

Just look how pretty you are! And think how good you will feel.

Hey honey..there is always hope. I am a TOPS member..mentioned in the posts above. TOPS is much less expensive than WW, but you are responsible for your own menu and program although there is a book called "The Choice is Yours", which works on a exchanges program, like diabetics use. Personally I choose to keep a food journal, using a FREE online program called Fitday www.fitday.com TOPS does/is supposed to have a weekly program with the emphasis on learning about nutrition, stress management, exercise etc. If you go to www.tops.org you can find out about chapters in your area. Since members are elected to the executive, some chapters are more effective than others. YOu can visit chapters for free, and then decide if you think you have found one that works for you.

I didn't think to check where you live, but you don't need a gym membership. A minimal investment will buy you some five and ten pound weights and an exercise ball . There are multiple sites online that will show you proper exercises to do, and the library, usually free, will have exercise books with pictures and diagrams. Some libraries have DVD's to rent as well with all kinds of exercise videos from yoga to tai chi to dancercize etc.

Many people say it is too expensive to eat healthfully, but that is just an excuse. I use a "no frills" store for all my veggies and it is certainly possible. I read all the grocery flyers. If there is a really good deal on something like chicken boobs, or high fiber cereal or good veggies, I try to buy extra and freeze or plan my menus around them. I know it can be hard if other people in the house don't care, but you have to care about yourself. Eating well TAKES TIME and planning. You may have to re-educate your tastebuds.

You have got to educate yourself on nutrition and calories. I eat 1600 plus calories a day and I still lose. BUT I choose high fiber, high nutrition food. I am not saying I am perfect..I had a Snickers bar this week, chinese food, and movie popcorn, BUT I planned for them and I still lost. I am not a gym rat by any means, I just try to do a little moving everyday and I love weight work.

You have a lot of life ahead of you...and I feel that way about my life too. I just finally had to realize that if I truly cared about myself, I had to care for myself.

This is a great place. Lots and lots and lots of caring people who have been there, are still there and who really care. You aren't alone, you aren't the only person who struggles and sometimes wins and sometimes loses. You have lots and lots of company! Best of luck to you

I'm with you Malissa!!! I have had skinny years and now I have had nothing but FAT years for the past five. I read this great book called Think Thin, Be Thin while I was losing before. It goes over all of the emotional aspects as to why you eat/ overeat and it helped me to lose 60 lbs. However, I stopped working on it and gained not only those 60 lbs back but another 44 lbs. I now weigh 304 lbs and I cant stand it.
Like you I want a relationship, and I want people to take pictures of me. But, right now I feel so gross and bloated that I wont let anyone that close.

I am lucky however, my best friend told me that we are going to be accountable to each other and do journals. I pulled my book back out. Got a food journal also and decided it was time to join a group like this so I am accountable. I am here for you as much as you are here for me... lets do this.... TOGETHER!!!!

I love the way you spell your name Malissa. You are in the right place. We're here for you.