It's been a wild, busy 2 weeks. I've been on pins and needles both preparing for the interview at the hospital, and then waiting to see if I got it. Today was last day on the old job. Monday I start my great new job at a hospital which thrills me. I'll be specializing in taxes, which I used to be very good at, but am a little out of practice. It's an opportunity for growth, greater income and great benefits... I also must deal with the paranoid possibility that I can't handle the job and won't be able to keep it. (Can anyone say Stress Eating?)

Saturday was the party from ****, which didn't turn out any where NEAR as bad as I was afraid of, because there was an open bar and I probably drank about two bottles of zinfandel all by myself. Sad but true - that stuff isn't as painfree at the weigh-in as it is at the intake.

I did have small victories this week, like at that wretched party I filled my plate with salad and green beans, and had only a small amount of chicken and potatoes. We had two big meetings at work with donuts and cookies, but I opted for just bottled water. Yes, we had Chinese one night, but I stretched it in to 3 meals instead of one, as I once would have. I ate breakfast from Burger King, but I had only one egg & cheese sandwich - no bacon, no hashbrowns, no cinnaminis. The good did not out-do the bad, but at least I wasn't possessed by the fat-demon ALL the time. There's hope for me, wicked tho I may be.

Yesterday I went in to my diet doc. The med assistant says "Oh didn't you know? He's retiring TOMORROW." =O HORRORS! Because I've sat back this past two weeks, made excuses, and thought I could always fall back on the pills to regain control. It's actually a good thing he's retiring, and the timing is absolutely PERFECT! It was the slap in the face I needed to re-take responsibility for my actions. O.K. I have a supply of pills to help me get back on track and in case of future emergency, but it's not an endless supply. I am faced with reality, and this is a good time. I can focus on my health AT my new job, as well as focusing on the job itself. There are miles of halls and stairs to walk on my lunch break, and I'm hoping at some point to gain access to the workout facilities that the hospital has to offer. This is a clean start in many ways. A wonderful move forward professionally, financially and physically. It's a combination of challenges and opportunities. They will be what I make of them.

Also, I had my first chiropractic adjustment today. HOLY SHMOLY COW, BATMAN! The rock-hard knots and extreme pain in my left shoulder are GONE. The stiffness and pain in my lower back are GONE. I can just reach down and very nearly put my palms flat on the ground - which is 6-7" farther than I normally can unless I've done a lot of slow, painful stretching. He just gently adjusted something in my neck and everything else on down totally changed! Do you realize what this means for my RIDING??? OMG! This is incredible!

And speaking of riding, Gabe has been at the trainer's for almost a week now. He (the trainer, not Gabe) told me to give him a call and come out and see how they're doing this weekend, so I hope to go on Sunday. He hasn't called yet, so either Gabe is getting along well, or he ran off with the guy and lost him somewhere in New Jersey.

I'm back to day two of being responsible for my own health. I even did some exercises before work this morning, which is a good start. A guy at my old job who bakes professionally in addition to working there, made me a pumpkin roll as a going away gift. I told him "This is like offering crack to an addict." But the addict wouldn't say no, and neither did I. It was awesome!!! But I didn't go crazy and eat the whole thing. I was careful about everything else I ate to make up for the extra calories, so overall I can still consider this a successfull day two, but I know conciously that it has to be an end to the bad carbs. I can take a pill to help me get past the sugar for a couple days, but then I have to fly on my own, and I can't do that if I don't - as someone once said -
"Back!
Away!
From the Cookies!" so to speak.

Gosh, I "talk" too much. I'm just a little stressed, or pumped, or something. Best wishes everyone!

Hey everyone -

I went to the doctors Thursday to get approved for my prescription refill, but while I was there I had them take blood work so I can see if my numbers have changed any from 2+ years ago the last time I was there. I think I weighed 290ish then.

Although dashing my hopes a bit my BP was higher then normal (prehypertensive), but I'm pretty sure it was nervousness I've had that happen before, and with my social anxiety issues it would make sense. A friend of mine is a PT though so she's going to retake it for me. The nurse at the doctors office seemed grumpy so I didn't want to bug her.

I'll let you guys know how the numbers look when I get it back. I'm hoping they will be better because my cholesterol was starting to look high for the first time last time I was there.

Went out tonight with the husband and for the first time in a long time I didn't have to try on 6 outfits before i found the one that made me look "just okay" It was nice just going with my first pick and even feel a little cute... and nice not falling into a depressive state just from getting dressed.

Hoping to go for a bike ride tomorrow if it's nice enough.

Sorry to hear a few of you aren't doing that well this week. I have to get my butt to bed right now, but I'm thinking of you guys.

-muse

Hi everyone. I am hopelessly behind doing much more than skimming the thread. Just wanted to post that I am still alive and kicking. I got a new haircut today. It's a bit different/shorter than it was and I like it. Make me think I should post a new avatar. My hair was REALLY short in that pic and I have had about 3 different hairstyles since then. And you've missed the thrill of seeing them all.

Not much going on with me. I am feeling sleepy and may go take a little nap here shortly. I am excited about tomorrow which is a big Greek festival at the local Greek orthodox church. No, I am not Greek and I don't even like Greek food. But my all-time FAVORITE American Idol contestant is Greek and is performing there....Constantine!!!!! I just love love LOVE him. I saw him there last year and it was so fun to see him up close and personal. This year I am goign to stick around and try to meet him/get an autograph. Yes, I know I am too old to have a crush on an AI contestant.

Sharon - So very nice to see you back. I have missed you!

Nancy - I know what you mean about "plus-sized" models. I was in the women's section of Macy's yesterday and they had one of the "plus-sized" mannequins out that wasn't dressed yet. I was looking at it thinking I'd be danged happy to be the size that mannequin was, not to mention it was smaller than the average mall customer I saw shopping there that day! Sheesh. No wonder we feel bad about ourselves sometimes!

Anyway, I think I am off for a snooze. Take care everyone.

DOH! I am so ditzy. Just checked my calendar...Greekfest is NEXT Sunday, not this one. Darnit. I had gotten myself all stoked up for it. Oh well.

Hey all!

Sorry I've been scarce, but I've been busy doing lots of stuff! Today I went to Philly with two of my friends, and I landed the ultimate date and we're going out tomorrow.

About the boy: 25 y/o Jewish 3rd year law student at American University, got his undergrad at Dartmouth, and is VERY smart, witty, and charming. I told him I'd go out with him if he could come up with a creative enough date, so he's taking me apple picking and then to dinner at McCormick and Schmick. Who knows if he'll turn out to be a great catch, but his stats alone seem impressive to me. We talked for about 4 hours online tonight and it seems we have a lot in common and got an 89% match on OkCupid (dating site). Since I met him online, I'm playing it safe and we're taking separate cars and junk, but I'm excited! I'd be even more excited if I didn't have to drive 2.5 hours to get to Bethesda, but it's all my doing considering he offered to come here, but there's not really anything to do here... haha.

What do you guys think? My mom is nervous about it, but she really can't complain about anything to do with his vital stats, except for that she asked why he would be interested in me... I let that one slide... >.<

Lindsey, he certainly looks great on paper. You'll be fine--you're going in having taken precautions for your safety.

I came back to edit the next section out, because I'm not sure I'm overstepping by offering this advice. I decided to leave it in, but I'm adding the comment to let you know I'm a little hesitant, and please ignore my comments if they're not welcome.


It's good to let the guy do some work for the date, such as go to you. I used to think this sort of advice was horribly old-fashioned, but have learned there is a reason for the advice. I'm not saying create scenarios in which he will have to work, or to play games, but let him do some of the work when the opportunity arises. It shows that a) there is an opportunity for him to please you and b) you think you are worth a little effort.

I hope you have a great time!

Brandnewme, It sounds like you've really thought out things and are ready to take action. The NSV's that you accomplished are really great! What a start to your new life. Hope you feel better physically soon. Just hang in there.

John, you're NSV was pretty funny. I can only imagine your surprise when that happened. But that is terrific news!! Your avatar is really nice...your so cute!

Ratkity, yes, exercise does get me out of a funk too. Thats good though, it helps two ways! Although I haven't exercised in the last two days. Hubby is off Fridays and Saturdays so it's hard to do it when he's here. But I plan on starting up again Sunday thru Thursdays. Also I'm thinking of changing my WI day to Fridays. It's just so hard to stay OP with him here. I know, what a cop out.

TooFFU, Congrats on making a whole week of exercise!!!

Nancy, how do you know he wouldn't like you? If you're friends, and he likes you as a friend, who knows what it can grow into. Don't be afraid to test the waters!! Sorry to hear the scales are up. I'm sure it will come off fast though. It's probably all that water and bloating that's got ya feeling funky. OOOOOOOOOO I know I saw that on ANTM. I couldn't believe they considered her plus size!! I only wish I could look that good.

Hi Vicki, yes I'm staying as strong as I can and keeping occupied which helps alot. I know he will come around....it's just the when that is so hard. I've never been good at patience. That is soooooooo fantastic that you can fit into those 12/14's. WoW!!

NoLife, it sounds like you handled yourself pretty darn well! You made great choices and lesser of the evils, you might say.I'm so glad you got the job at the hospital, and what's this about thinking you can't handle it, silly woman!!! It will be a no brainer for you!! That's great that you're not in pain anymore. Just one little adjustment and there ya go!! I hope you get to go see your Gabe tomorrow!

Story, Great NSV's all around!! Nothing better than those clothes getting bigger and looser.

Muse, that's wonderful that you found something to wear right away and you felt cute in it. Keep up the good work!

Xena, Oh yeah!! Constantine is definitely a cutie!! I hope you get his autograph.

Ok Lindsay, sounds like a hot date BUT, you need to take precautions. There's alot of crazies out there girl!! You make sure you check in with your Mom like every hour, go to the bathroom, go somewhere to be alone, but you call her!! You should be taking a friend with you but that wouldn't work out. Just make sure you stay in public places with lots of people. DO NOT go in his car or to his place. HA! I sound like you're my kid...sorry...but just take care. We need you here!!

Well once again, I've decided to try and start up a little home business. We are making little banks for kids. They're made of wood and they have plexiglass centers so you can see the money in them. We're making all kinds of animals, cars and trucks. When we get some done I will post them so you can see what they look like. Should be cute! I did ok OP the last couple of days, but it's been hard. No exercise, but will start again and try to Sunday to Thursday. We went to karaoke Friday again and it was a nice time. Also went to the casino but alas, didn't win. Hubby was doing great though. We just usually only play with $20 a piece. I sit there and think what the money can go for instead of just blowing it, so I'm not alot of fun...lol.
Hope all are having a great weekend
Debbie

I just about walked my feet off today. We went thrift storing and garage saleing. All done on public transportation with my big backpack. We actually had to come home and empty it once, just to fill it again. We ended up at the mall where there is a discounter called Winners which is kind of like TJ Maxx in the states. Got some Merrells for half price. Women's shoes in my size are hard to find. With my plantar problem, I usually get Nike Air or New Balance. They have the arch support and cushioning I need. Merrells work pretty good too, but are usually out of my price range. I have started putting icyhot on my feet, heels and arches mostly, before I go to bed, and my feet are feeling great. I wish I had thought of that two years ago. I get tendinitis in my shoulder, I automatically think of icy hot, but tendinitis in my heels basically, and it never occurred to me.

Lindsey-be careful, but be open. I met my husband on the internet, and there is no way we would have been able to meet otherwise.

Hi all! Skating went very well yesterday and it was lots of fun!!! I'll have MANY more sessions before I get as confident as I can at this stage of life, but all things considered it was great. No falls, though a couple of near misses. It was wonderful to skate with my son.

Lindsey - Your date sounds wonderful. I love everything about early romance. Enjoy yourself immensely!

Debbie - Sounds like you had a nice date with hubby. I had one of those banks before, shaped like a cat. I loved it for a long time. Good luck with your new venture!

Xena - Have an awesome time at the Greek festival...and you get one extra week to look forward to it. Lucky you!

BattleAx, thanks for your concern! I had thought the same thing myself, but he really did offer to come over here. I'm the one who said I wanted to go over there because over here, there's a much bigger chance that we'll get bored considering the severe lack of date things to do, so I decided to play it safe and go for the big city with lots of activities for our first date. Next time (if we hit it off), he's coming here and we're going to switch off and take turns. In my past relationships, I always did all of the "work" as far as driving and such goes, so I'm much more aware now of my past behavior and my need to not let it happen again! Haha. As sad as it is, I've never had a guy offer to take me out on such a romantic sounding date AND pay. It'll be nice to feel like a pampered princess for once... I think I deserve it! Haha. Really, though, I do appreciate your advice. It wasn't overstepping at all!

Debbie, I've taken all of the precautions I think I can short of kidnapping my friend and making her go with me all the way to DC... haha. I looked him up on Facebook, which you have to at least be telling the truth about where you go to college because you have to have a campus email address to join the network... AND he has lots of friends that have left comments to the effect of him being a fun person. I know lots of times the crazies' friends and family think that they showed no signs of having violent tendencies before their heinous act, but there's not much I can do to figure that out... so I've done what I can. I told my mom that I'd call her before I left, and I think I will tell her that I will check in every hour or so at least with a text message saying that I'm okay.. that way I can maybe discretely do it without continually ducking off to the bathroom... haha. And I know, no cars or going back to his place... haha. I already informed him that if he tries anything in the orchard or anywhere else, that my mom has his full name and picture (she really does) so they'll be able to catch him.. and he said that if I try anything funny, he's sure that the police will check his last internet activity and get me, and fast since his dad is chummy with the director of the FBI.

I was so nervous that I couldn't sleep last night... I ate some breakfast (to see if that might help my jitters) so I'm going to try and catch a few z's before I need to be getting ready at 11.

Lindsey--one more bit of advice--HAVE FUN! That's the most important thing. ((((hugs))))

STORY- That is So cool about trying on last year’s clothes! What a fantastic feeling. I’m glad too, that the PA had encouraging things to say, even if you do have to go back yet again in Nov for another check.

MUSE – I hope your BP numbers are looking better when your friend checks them. I don’t know if they used the larger cuff on you, but I know the cuff has a lot to do with accuracy. My DH has high BP and has a little at-home machine. We got a larger cuff so I could use it, but the readings were all over the place. Also, I’ve had my BP taken at the doc’s recently and it was 120/84, but two days later at a health fair they took it with a portable BP machine, and twice it read 150/84, and this week at the doc’s it was again in the 120/84 range. * GREAT that it sounds like you’re more at ease with yourself getting ready to go out! That’s a load of stress off right there. I dearly hate dressing to go out and knowing things don’t look good. * Hey, what does “3FC Biggest Loser Red Team Member” mean?

XENA – I love Greek food. When I lived in Buffalo there were great Greek restaurants and the Greek festival was so much fun. I hope you get that autograph! And you’re never too old to have a crush. Too married maybe, but never too old.

Oooo, LINDSEY – Romance! Be sure to be careful, but I hope you both have a wonderful time! Apple picking IS an unusual first date – definitely beats the sushi bar some guy took me to once. UGH! HaHa! Sounds like YOU had better not try anything funny with that boy given his connections – haha! Hurry back and let us know how it goes!!!

BATTLE – I SO love your avatar. I’m going to try that tomorrow morning!

DEBBIE – I’m with you about wasting money gambling. I DO pry the occasional couple dollars out of my pocket for a lottery ticket. I figure it’s cheaper than a movie ticket and I get more hours of entertainment out of it just thinking of what I’d do with the money. Right now the first thing I’d do would be to move in next door to my new chiropractor’s office… ** Good luck with your new home business. Sounds like a great thing to keep your hands and mind busy, in addition to being a money maker. Please do post pics, especially if you have a horsey one!

CATHERINE – I love garage sales. I haven’t been to any in a long time since there’s just no place to put any thing. I should actually have one myself! This will be my 10th year or so in this house, but it will be the first Christmas that I can FIND my favorite Christmas ornaments amidst all my other boxes in the basement. What a fun day you had. I hope the new shoes fit great.

META – Your success is so great, and I can only imagine how wonderful it must be to be able to skate with your son!

CARBS! Bad Carbs, Evil Refined Carbs – They’re everywhere! At the grocery store the free item of the week is crackers. I love crackers. They’re so much like bread only with even more delicious salt and fat – yum! I had just finished a careful shopping trip, planning good meals for the week, and the girl stuffs those crackers in my bag. I decided as I watched her do it that they’ll have to go to a local Food Cupboard. I had one brief moment of weakness, but they’re still untouched and destined for the Food Cupboard.

No call back from the trainer yet, so I might not go see Gabriel until next weekend. Sniff. I miss my big guy. The barn just isn’t the same without him standing at the fence begging. You can actually go out in the pasture and get a horse without him mugging you and following you around with his “Pick me! Pick me!” expression on. Now I can’t believe I spent so little time with him when he was still here.

I think I mentioned the bunch of new work clothes I got on sale a week or two ago. Since I had put a bit of weight back on, most of them are a bit too small. But this whole new, big change I’m going through right now: a great new job; my diet doc retiring and making me responsible for myself; discovering a chiropractor and getting relief from pain that has slowed me down for years, AND getting the horse of my dreams ready to ride – all of that has me in a really good place right now. Our finances are still really bad and not everything is perfect, but is it ever? There’s hope on every front, and that’s what I’m going to focus on. That’s the energy that I’m going to let carry me through the day.

A year ago I was working out religiously, was stronger and lighter than I am now. But my marriage was in a shambles, I cried a lot, and I struggled with mood swings and sometimes crushing depression. Today I’m fatter and less fit, but my marriage is pretty good, and I’m pretty happy. There’s always hope, and there’s always change. A year from now I don’t know exactly where I’ll be, but I’m going to keep trying to control the things I can, focusing on the positive and the possible.

Today is the first day of Autumn. I already miss the summer, but I love to watch the winter birds at my backyard feeder. I’ll start getting ready now to have the best summer ever – not just a fun summer, but a summer where I make fun things more doable, and where I take control to make my own dreams come true.

I’m still 278 pounds. I still dream of riding dressage. I have not failed, I am not dead, until I let that dream go.

ZELMA? Where are you? Is it Spring time there???

Lindsey - Your date sounds like he has lots of potential. As long as you are taking precautions, which it sounds like you are, then go for it and have fun! I completely understand what you are saying about having the guy make some efforts. We have to remember that guys are on their BEST behavior at the beginning of a relationship and if their BEST is only so-so at the beginning that doesn't bode well. But, sounds like your date is definitely making an effort. Have lots and lots of fun and let us know how it goes.


Not much going on here. Well, going to walk my dog and then meeting some friends at an Italian place for lunch at 2:00. I need to go see if their menu is online so I can try to pick something healthy before I even get there so as not to be tempted by something Alfredo (which in Italian I think means "of the devil" )

Lindsey- Have fun its kind of boring in Bethesda as well but you can always go to Dave&busters. You'll not see this cause you've more then likely left to get there lol.

Debbie- cute?? I've been called many things but never cute ty. ::goes off and does the Rudolph the the red nose reindeer she thinks I'm cute dance: