It's Impossible!!
 

I have gained all the weight back..now at 400, I tell ya, it is a trend that I keep at this rate. It is impossible to lose weight on my own..while family members don't need to worry about weight. Over the weekend, ate unhealthy, and lost my focus and now am having a hard time. I feel so alone of me using my food scale and cups while others are eating the good stuff. I tried to work around my family eating habits and just can't do it!! I see ice cream, cakes, chips and just lose control. I just don't know what else to do. I can't live on my own, would be much worst. I thought it would be easy on working on making healthy food choices in my home...but it is not working out, when I see my problems foods. This is my problem am dealing with. I have the mindset on losing, but lose control!!

I have tears on me when seeing 3fc heros on losing over 100 Lbs..It is just remarkable and here I am struggling each meal time and praying for the day of me being a good girl...but always fail. I am at my wits ends here and just accept my body weight the way it is.

I will focus on exercise and aim for an hour a day.

Thank you for letting me vent.. :hug:

You can do it.

Nobody in my family has to worry about their weight either, so sometimes there are lots of yummy things around to tempt me. It's really hard, and I admit to giving in to temptation. I force myself to write it down afterwards so I can see exactly what I've eaten.

Focus on one small goal. Something you can do to get started. That helps me most of the time. One day at a time, one meal at a time, one minute at a time. Sometimes when the yummy stuff is there I tell myself I can have it if I still want it in 15 min. Sometimes that gives me time to build resolve and sometimes I still give in. When I know I CAN have it, sometimes that's enough. Facing a life without stuff I love is too much, so I just work on facing a few min at a time.

For me alli has helped too. The fear of having that sort of accident kept me from eating the stuff I wanted. For me fear is a very big motivator. It just has to be fear of something immediate - I'm not good at looking long term sometimes. When I went to WW it was the fear of someone seeing my weight. I really didn't want it to go up. Oddly enough, fear of dying - while real, didn't motivate me enough to change my habits. Pooping my pants? Yeah that got me on the right track. LOL

*hugs* to you!

You can do it. What everyone has said so far has been on target. Small goals and small changes.

Just a hint about going off program for a few days and then getting back on.. many times my body responds by gaining copeious amounts of water weight when I eat not only salty, but high carb stuff. Since one pound is 3500 calories, eating 70,000 calories in a weekend of off-eating to gain 20 lbs is impossible. Of course.. give me a month and I can probably achieve that icky goal. Bleh!

The successes of the ladies here are because they do human things around donuts or cake, tell us, and then say "and today I have all my water lined up and my snacks laid out".

More hugs to you :hug: and energy and encouragement to keep on doing the next right thing in front of you!!

Luv,
Ratkitten

I see the 100 pound losers on here too and go "WOW"!! But you know what, they started exactly where we are all at too. They struggled to get going, they had good and bad days too. They probably lost 2 lbs their first week or even month, but they did it. I agree -- small steps, whatever you can give up without too much of an internal struggle. I'm trying to stop soda (it was diet but not good for me) and cut out sugar. I'm feeling withdrawl, but yesterday was bad, today is better. It's the getting going that is tough but the results are what I'm looking forward to.

Can you leave the room when the family is snacking, maybe go for a little walk or find something else to do? I have two boys and have changed their "treats" from cookies to graham crackers, fruit snacks, etc. -- things I'm not as interested in. But, I could still binge on them (and have) unfortunately. I just try to make it through one timer period a day (2 hours at a time) and work from there.

You can do this, we are here for you -- find someone on here you feel a connection with and maybe p.m. them whenever you are struggling. Good luck!!!

Oh, honey! I wish I could say something to make things better. For you. For me. I totally know what it feels like to just not be in control. To feel like giving up. But love yourself and be kind to yourself. It will come. Come here for any hugs you may need.
Small changes are excellent! And they really do add up.
Kisses and hugs.
jax

I just want to give you a big, big, bear hug, Liliann:

http://d21c.com/walpurgis9/happies/faces2/110.gif

I'm there with you, hun.
If you need a buddy, just PM me. I could always use one ;)

Liliann – :hug: I am so sorry to hear you are having such a rough time. Slow down a minute and take a breath. You just posted that great list from Richard Simmons two days ago. Don’t let a little scale issue sideline you when it could very well be water retention or something else.

Is there no way to talk to your family and ask them not to leave things out in your path? It is really hard to say no to the foods that tempt you when they are right in front of you.

You said – “It is impossible to lose weight on my own”. If that is the case, how can you get the support you need? Is there a TOPS group in your area? Perhaps something through a local church or community group? Perhaps OA? If you know you need support, find it. Don’t be afraid to ask what for what you need to succeed.

You can do this!

I know exactly how you feel!! At home, I am the only fat person, the only one trying to lose weight. So there are oreos, a cookie jar full of little debbie snack cakes, and more, just calling my name. It is so very hard not to eat that stuff. I also have to cook my husband and son regular meals while I am cooking low fat/low cal stuff for me. It is so very tempting to eat some of their stuff!! Maybe you can move other peoples food to one specific cabinet, and you don't have to ever open it. 'That way you will be a little less tempted.......I thought about designating a cabinet or drawer in my house that is off limits for me.....hey we can do it together!

Lillian, I know how it is to feel it's impossible. But, it isn't. You can do it, one baby step at a time. Don't let this setback derail you for good. As the others said, go slow....make little changes. The Richard Simmons diet is really an extreme change. Maybe it is too much all at once.

We're here for you.

:hug:

Don't give up!

I agree you probably didn't gain back 20 pounds in a week, but it sounds like you're really struggling anyway.

It sometimes helps me to see this as a challenge.

There's a basket on our secretary's desk at work which is nearly always filled with candy. I used to eat 4-300 candies out of it every single day. Two years ago, when I made a big lifestyle change, one of my decisions was that I would no longer eat ANY candy from the basket. I wasn't saying 'no' to all candies or sweet food, but that candy represented mindless eating (which I wanted to stop) and seemed like something that would be do-able, as I always have another alternative present.

It was really hard at first to not just reach my hand in and take some candy. But as the days went on, the feeling of success was WONDERFUL!!!

Now, I have been tempted by that candy, especially in stressful times, but I know call that basket my "victory basket" because in 2 years I have not once eaten candy from the basket!!

Again, I HAVE eaten candy, just not from there.

Sometimes these victories seem small, but I tell you they build on each other. I am quite proud of my ongoing victory over that silly basket.

So, maybe think about small changes and challenges and other ways you can recommit to this process!

:hug:

Liliann,

I second everything everyone has said.

I just want to add one thing. All my life I've had family and friends who said they supported me in my weight loss efforts. Sometimes they've done more than support, they've nagged, or they've monitored my eating in ways I found counterproductive. And yet, when I start making progress, suddenly they bring home things I want to eat but shouldn't. I don't know if this is your situation at all, but I do think that it's okay to ask for support on our own terms--to define what we NEED from our family and friends and ask for that, instead of what they think we need.

And yes, I'm sure some of that gain is water that will go away as quickly as it came. Climb right back on this here wagon with us, lady!

Thank you all of your wonderful and friendly comments/support. It means so much to me.. and one thing am changing for sure is quit the daily scale habit. I am so grateful for all of your responses.. You are the best and just love you all!!

Tomorrow is a new day..and will be back in action on staying on plan..

Love you all!! :hug:

Liliann,

Please know that many people care and understand the good day/bad day cycle. Heck, just this week, I had 2 days of horrific eating which negated the pounds I lost the previous week. I'm starting over yet again, trying to eliminate my triggers (sugar). So, let me just echo what others have said: get back on that wagon and make small changes. (As a side note, but not an endorsement, I'm currently slowing reading my way through The Beck Diet Solution which states exactly what everyone here is saying. She gives small daily challenges to help with weight loss and strategies for coping with the times when temptation shows its ugly head. Maybe your library has a copy...some of her suggestions are helpful.)

Yay Lillian!! We can do this together. You can re-start at any time.. even mid-day.

I think someone said something in another thread about making changes that you can live with, but don't force yourself to do something you absolutely hate to do. Like my veggies.. I generally hate em. I loathe a few (especially cooked carrots), but there are some I tolerate. This week I've made a salad with lettace that I tolerate (not iceberg or spinach.. bleh) and other items that fluff it up without the calories. It hasn't been bad!!!

What changes will you make today?

Luv,
Ratkitten

Hang in there. :hug: You can do it!!!

I second what Jen said about good and bad days. I had a couple of very bad days last week, but this week I am firmly back in charge. And I will ride this as long as it lasts!!

Lilian, Gosh, I know exactly what you are going through.

I signed up on the site in October, lost 30 lbs by January, had a setback, and gained 20 lbs of it back. Then I just got fed up, I got tired, of all the promises I made to myself and broke over the years---of always having to start over---so I started all over again. Now, I have hit 250 for the 3rd time in the past few years.

Just keep going. Just get right back on there and don't look back. Pretend the setback never happened and do it now, at this moment, do not wait for tomorrow. You are strong, because if I remember correctly, you lost about 25 lbs .... that's a great amount, and you can do it again!

Keep on Keeping On!

While I agree with what everybody else has said, I think it also wouldn't hurt to deal with the family issue. Maybe you are going to have to be assertive enough to just say, hey, no more crap in this house. You are not talking about vanity pounds; this is your health and ability to move that is at stake.

I know you are a caregiver for others. Time to point out that they need to care about you as well.

God bless. I hope you can work through this tough time.

I stole this from Krista Scott-Dixon at www.stumptuous.com
You see, progress is not exactly a linear onward-and-upward thing. It's more like a thousand little tiny stops and starts. Even for the so-called experts, life intervenes with multiple pressures to fail. It doesn't get any easier. You just get better at managing it, problem solving, and coming up with creative strategies to combat it. You get better at saying no to things that rob your of your energy and better at saying yes to the things that are truly valuable and essential. There is no better time. There is no better life stage. All you have is now; all you have is you. These things that seem to impede you - you don't wait till they're done then start your life. They are your life.

Liliann
Speaking as one of the ladies here that have lost 100+, please know that we too have the same struggles. There are times we fall off plan. Many many times. The key is to keep trying. I will tell you however that once you start losing and noticing changes in your body as well as other people noticing, it makes it easier to keep moving forward. Right from day 1 I told everybody I knew that I was going to lose 200lbs. I knew that in my mind, I would not disappoint myself and not reach that goal. Mind you, I was hoping to get there by now :lol: but no matter how many times I fell, I owed it to myself to keep going. One of the ladies on here (sorry I forget now who it was) has a motto that really spoke to me. Progress not perfection. No truer words for sure. 2 steps forward and one step back is still one step forward. Please remember that.

Susan -- That's a great quote, and SO TRUE in my experience. As Brenda also said, this whole journey is bitty steps forward and back. Luckily, I did have a time when I went mostly forward, but the issues are just too big and life too complicated to make that possible all the time!

You can pick up from here, and keep going. Don't let this stop you! You were doing so well, you KNOW you can do this. Temptation is hard, and sometimes gets the better of us, but after that all you can do is pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and keep on moving forward! Having a house full of people who don't have to lose weight is a tough situation, but you can get through it. Don't give up! Like you said, just take it hour by hour. It is possible!

Susan.. Thank you so much for the quote..Very uplifting and wrote it down on my notebook. I will keep reading that and other motivational sayings that I gathered. Again, Thank you so much for sharing. :)

Thank you ladies again for the wondeful uplifting support you have given me..It does help and Thank God, am not alone on this battle. You all are my cyber angels and am truly blessed.

My tough time came about over the weekend when my older sister was admitted to the hospital for infected bed sores and yesterday, found out she won't be coming home, but will be in a rehab for continue antiboctics treatment for 6 weeks. I just need to handle family stress/crisis more better and not lean on food as for my comfort zone. I am starting fresh and will stay focus ..

Again, Thank you all for the kind support given.. You are all so wonderful.. We can do it!! :):hug:

Liliann -- Glad you are feeling a bit better!

Honestly, learning how to handle stress better is something most or all of us need to work on. I know it's one of my big issues!! One of the first steps is learning to start over when you stumble, rather than giving up.

This is a long, hard process, and I don't think we can expect perfection.

And this is a great place to come for support! I'm glad you came back! :hug:

Lillian, I hope you can see what the rest of us see....

You are SO MUCH MORE than just numbers on a scale. You are a flesh and blood human being with a generous heart, who takes care of others, who has ups and downs, who loves and is loved.

Don't let three little numbers determine WHO YOU ARE!!!!

Lilian what plan are you on? Is there any way to get your family to keep the junk out of the house?

Lillian, when my Dr. told me that I had to take the wt. off because my health was so bad, I got angry and cried like a baby. I felt totally hopeless, helpless and mainly wanted to just say to **** with him and find a new Dr.

Money was tight. I had just been so ill that I was forced to stop working. I finally came to the conclusion that I deserved to try to restore my health. Even if the cost was higher, I deserved to be able to feed myself the right food that would take the wt. off of me. After all, my kids deserved to have a mother and DH deserved to have his wife.

I began on Atkins as my Dr. told me to do low-carb. I still bought bread and such for the others but not for me. I severely limited the junk food coming into this house. The others didn't need to lose weight, but they didn't need to eat Junk either. I learned recipes on here that would satisfy my needs and the "good taste" needs of the others.

I'm now calorie counting and I do have more "snack" food in the house for the others. I've learned that I can't totally deprive myself of the not so healthy stuff. Such as an occasional serving of baked pringles when others are eating regular chips works great for me. An occasional hotdog is great and I buy the LF turkey ones and noone knows the difference. I use LF cinnamon graham crackers as a treat for me (130 cal's for 3 big crackers). These really help when everyone else is having a treat. I keep SF jello made up as a snack with FF coolwhip. I learned that if I "can't beat em, join em". This way, I don't feel deprived and still stick in my calorie limit. No one even noticed when I switched to low-cal butter, or skim milk. They did notice the 98% LF popcorn. I use mine and they have their fatty popcorn to eat. I keep plenty of fruit on hand for everyone. I occasionally have baked fries and everyone likes them, no sense in any of us eating a bunch of grease. No one noticed that I buy LF mayo, LF sour cream and LF cottage cheese,LF sliced cheese, LF cheddar cheese,LF salad dressing. No one cares because our food still tastes good.

I guess what I'm saying is, I didn't totally eliminate all snacky foods from my "diet". I just made lower cal/ lower fat options available for me so that I could still eat and feel satisfied.

Hugs, I know that it is a daily struggle with having other members of the house that don't need to lose wt. But, you can do this. You deserve it.

I know that some people eat only "whole foods" and would consider the way I eat as not so healthy. I'm OK with that. I have to do what works for me. And this works.

Thank you Jasmine and Lilybelle.. I am finally back on track and doing well now.. My mom is a worry wart and snacks alot, which she also needs to drop a few Lbs, since she always complains her clothes are to tight..she have a tummy and weighs about 190. One of my sisters, which she is thin, 120 Lbs and can eat junk foods and not gain an ounce. So have to learn on saying NO,as well eat things in moderation and small portions that fits within my plan.

Again, Thank you all so very much! :)

Omg, Liliann...I am in the exact same state of mind as you right now...damn 400 (hate that number!). I sometimes feel absolutely no motivation and other times, I'm good to go. I used to think I had to be perfect all day, everyday. I've recently started to cut myself a little slack, hoping that it'll all just fall into place, one pound (or two) at a time. I guess all I can say is, when it's a good day - roll with it. When it's a bad day, brace yourself. :hug:

BRENDA....YOU ARE MY IDOL!!!!!!!! :) :cp:

Lilian we all believe in you!!! Please don't give up. I was up to 345 lbs at one point and it was the hardest decision I made to change that. I'm no where near where I need to be and everyday is a struggle. Just remember we are all here for you and you always have a place to vent, a shoulder to cry on, or a friend to talk to.