I know this topic was probably talked about before but I still had to ask it.

Can family stress lead to emotional eating? If so, I might have found the root of my problem. Can anyone offer some advice for a tired and frustrated young woman.

Sincerely,
Ameenat

Ameenat....I think that any personal issues can casue a person to overeat. Especially when you are using the food to keep you from "feeling" your true feelings. I know for me, that food has been a "drug of choice" for me to self medicate when I don't want to deal with life's pressures. I would rather eat something than show or tell someone how I feel. God forbid I hurt anyone's feelings! I know it all comes from when I was kid. My mom and dad used to fight like crazy! I was about 5 or so. My mom would cry which would make me cry. Then she would pick me up and we would get in the car and she would take me for ice cream becasue she thought it would make me feel better. Well, it did. So now, even though I'm pushing 50, I still deal with that emotional stuff with food. Once you can recognize the behavior that has put you in this stuation, you may be able to change the way you handle things.

All the best to you!!

Ameenat - A definite yes for me too! I grew up being told I was too fat and that I needed to lose weight. My mother put me on diets, tried to send me to different exercise programs and I even went to “fat camp”. None of it worked because it never addressed my real issues and it just created a whole lot of weird relationships with food. One was definitely comfort – food always made me feel better. Another was control. I knew if I wanted to piss my mom off or to secretly thwart her, all I needed to do was to eat something.

The thing that really helped me work through my emotional issues with food were the books by Geneen Roth – “When Food is Love” and “Feeding the Hungry Heart” are two of them. It look me some time to disconnect some of those feelings from food, and although I have come a long way they are still there – just a lot easier to deal with.

Eventually you will need to find other ways to deal with your emotional issues besides food. This may take awhile if you don’t have other coping mechanisms. You also don’t want to replace food with something equally as destructive, even though it might not be so easily visible like alcohol or compulsive shopping. One thing I try to do is to never get angry with myself or attack myself if I do turn to food, but to always evaluate the situation and try to figure out how I could have handled it and to try and put in place something to handle it better next time. I think one of the most important things is to stop the vicious cycle of getting upset with yourself and then turning back to food for comfort.

I agree - family stress can cause emotional eating! One suggestion I would make would be for you to keep a food journal - not just to track the food you are eating, but to also track when, where and why you are eating. Once you pick up the patterns of your stress eating I think you'll find it will be easier to find another outlet for stress relief. Making sure you keep your "comfort foods" out of your house so that they're not there to turn to would be one way of keeping you focused on your weight loss journey. And exercise comes to mind as a great stress reliever - if you like exercise that is (I'm not even close to "like" but I'm trying! )

I agree. Family is one of my greatest stresses. I have been trying some stress busters that are not food related...
soak my feet and paint my nails after everyone has gone to bed
go for a walk even just around the block or to the park(can be done with family if you have mobil children or a stroller)
breath
take a shower with great smelling soap(I do not fit so well in my bath)
Call a friend to vent
read this site to hear about people who are struggling with similiar issues and other sites that address other identites like sites focused on young families or special needs.
i also have done some replacing of high fat food with better alternatives like fruit, non buttered popcorn and tea.

I find having alternatives to food for stress helps me many times to make better choices. Even with these ideas though some time there is nothing like comfert food. On these days a turkey burger on a whole wheat bun with turkey bacon stands in for a beef burger and little by little I try to wittle away the calories and the pounds.

Couldn't agree more with all you ladies ~ I now know that I am an emotional eater too. I did the journal thing and discovered that whenever I am upset, frustrated, hurt, sad, angry, or just bored ... I would turn to food to comfort myself; but, in reality, we are just harming ourselves more in the end. Like all of you, I am still learning how to find other ways to heal.

I had a tough, painful childhood; and the key for me was ... FORGIVENESS! I had to learned to forgive others, life, myself, and yes, even God (or a least my expectations of Him). There are times, when I stumble, but I am much better than I used to be; a work in progress ever still ...

I have heard two converse views on the subject of food as a kind of "self- medication"; one that FOOD IS LOVE, and the other that FOOD IS YOUR POISON OF CHOICE ... That sure is FOOD FOR THOUGHT, now isn't it?

However, the idea that "FOOD IS LOVE" sounds more like the recipe of my life. I know that both my mother and grandmother also used food as a comforter; so, maybe this is indeed a kind of patterning. Well, I hope that we all can help each other heal, and learn better ways to cope with the more difficult parts of life ~ a fellow encourager ... Rosebud

it is pretty easy to say "oh bugger it" whenever you are feeling down. Right now I don't have much of a solution for you but to have plenty of healthy food on hand in case that feeling strikes. And if you go out looking for something naughty to eat, ask yourself why you want to sabotage all the hard work you've been doing.

Oh Yeah, I agree. My mother isn't just unpleasant, she is toxic. I would eat a gallon of ice cream to sedate myself enough to deal with her. I don't think anyone can get to 600 lbs. without having some type of emotional demon in the closet or under the bed. What I had to do was finally cut off contact with my mom. I haven't seen her or talked to her since Nov. 2005. We have exchanged a couple of letters, and they are so harmful, that my husband doesn't let me read them anymore. I know that I will never see her again. I love her, deeply, but she is poison to me. To live, I had to cut away a diseased limb. It's not the way everyone can do it, but I had a much higher hurdle, and I want to live, so I had to do it.

Catherine, your strength and wisdom amazes me.

I don't think any of us can say we never turn to food for comfort or solice, hence the term comfort food. It is integral to our society, the term comfort food, chicken soup for the soul, I am sure there are lots of other examples. It just seems ingrained into our behavior, so when your emotional life is more upsetting we just turn to food more. It seems like a totally okay thing in our society, until it starts to show on the outside. Then we are fat and weird, somehow less than everyone else. Just ridiculous.

I haven't really figured out a way to deal yet, except that I have found the oh so simple and delicous apple to be one of my best friends, but that is not enough.

It is important not to beat yourself up though. Someone else said this earlier, but I agree, that being angry with yourself for turning to food is never going to get you to the core reason for why you are doing it. Just try to look at yourself without judgement and figure out why it is happening and some good strategies to change it that will work for you.

Hi There,

I really have no advice on how to deal with it, I think I am still trying to figure this out on my own.

There is a lot of stress on my side of the family, that comes into my personal family.

I am an emotional eatter when it gets worse.

But, even though I have no advice, just wanted to tell you, it can lead to it, I hear this a lot, and it happens to me.

Take care,