Last month I took a hard look at myself and something changed. I had a thyroid flare up + divorce situation that led to a 25 lb rapid weight gain, all fat.

I've watched this site casually for years and love the support & shared joy over successes.

Here's my broad goal list - to live a long healthy life, raise my children with good eating habits, and feel confident about dating.

Here are my 1st steps-
1- made a doctor's appointment for blood work up & weight consultation.
2 - incorporated 4+ whole food/plant based meals & snacks (smoothie/veg juice, homemade salsa, frozen grapes, salad). Meal 3/snack 3 is healthy or a small portion (half slice of pizza + 1 breadstick, no soda)
3- stopped most fast-food. Starbucks (breakfast sandwich & tea), qdoba, and subway are still on the ok list, since I have healthy options there. Overall, we aren't going.
4- signed up for match.com and really thought about the type of guy I want/what they're looking for. Not being mean to myself - I want to confidently put fit & toned, with full body pictures that back it up.
5- In addition to healthier meals & snacks, I've been modeling other healthy behaviors. Swimming, playing in the yard, cleaning/gardening, and talking about healthy food choices. We went for froyo last week - a joy of their summer- I picked a sorbet I love in a small portion & helped them pick a reasonable serving with toppings that weren't over the top. No shaming or guilt.

In the last 2 weeks, I've lost almost 6 lbs. I'm working hard to stay hydrated. Sleep has been a problem after a few late nights at work. I'm not low carb or vegetarian, but baked goods and most meats have fallen off my menu for now.

Congrats on making a change! It sounds like you have a reasonable plan for making changes. And it's great to hear that you're working on teaching your children healthy habits, too! Good luck with all of it! You're doing great!

Yesterday we went swimming - after 2-3 weeks of going 1-3x/week, I am amazed by how much stronger my legs and arms are. Once you get past the swimsuit buying and wearing, water is the best place to be.

I went invisible on March.com. I have enough traveling in the next 2.5 weeks that I don't want to add anything else in. And maybe I'm chicken about meeting someone because I'm fat? I'm in a small town and there's a limited dating pool over 30. Silly, but this is about real steps, one bite at a time.

199.2/43.3% bf/40.8% water
Need to hydrate, I think. Wrists and ankles are very slim this morning. Can swimming dehydrate you, if it isn't hot/sunny?

200/40.4/42.9 . Got water % back up.

I was disappointed to be closer to the same weight as 1 week ago (I've been tracking total weight * bf%), but body fat scales aren't perfect. If it's close to accurate, I've added a couple lbs of muscle and that's great. That number was 86.7 on June 27 and 80.4 today.

199.8/41.3%/42.3%

Questioning daily reporting, but I think I'm a person that gets off track and needs to stay accountable. I'm going to need a no pass weight..like 160. In the future, I'll never let myself get over 160. Those meds made 180-200 a quick jump.

Staying steady on weight and bf% - clearly I'm not going to lose 5 lbs in 2 days. I just really want to get to 10lbs lost, then under 190. Once I break 190, I think I'll have nice momentum and changed habits.

This week is vbs and I have prek group . Definitely getting my steps in. I have 4 cups of water lined up on my desk to drink. Hired my nephew to mow and help around house this week to keep stress down and get him some spending money.

Sounds like you're doing good not depriving yourself, I know if I get a craving that won't budge I need to give in to it with moderation. It looks like you're doing that too! It's hard getting kids to break bad habits, especially in the summer, when they're home all day, but you're doing everything right just encouraging small changes, and being a healthy example! You should feel proud just making steps in the right direction to get your family happy and healthy, and keep yourself happy too.

Doctor today for a blood draw/urine analysis. It will be awesome to compare this to last year/6 months from now.

More vacation bible school. I go full speed for 2 hours with these little kids. Dinner was koolaid,fish sticks, macaroni, and apples/carrots. Ick. I skipped the horrible birthday cake ice cream and koolaid. Not unhappy with my choices.

Today - 200.4/40.6/44%. Still lingering in the same area, but my clothes fit better, my endurance is higher, and those are end of the day numbers.

Nurse said they like to see body fat around 26%, so 6 lbs down & 40 to go. I think I'll get my bf% in the 39% next week, if I keep these changes up. Only a few lbs from it, I think. Getting my body fat down will help my overall health so much.

Tests were a snap because of the extra water I drank! Blood flowed readily.

I'm a mess. Yesterday I went to a weight loss clinic. My prior family doctor was the type to throw pills at a problem and tended to be too busy. Plus I like the idea of upfront costs vs waiting 3 months to see what my new insurance will cover (usually nothing for weight loss management)

Ekg came back abnormal, so they refused to treat me. But they aren't cardiologists, so I'm getting no real feedback on what ekg issues are. I had an abnormal ekg 7 years ago because my heart works differently, but it wasn't a concern . Got them those records. He said it wasn't sufficient, since it was 7 years old. Now I'm fat and worried I have a heart condition. They said get a letter from your family doctor or scan interpretation. Let's recall I don't have a family doctor and if I did, I think they'd want me to see them instead of this guy....putting me back at not medically covered and less personal attention.

Called local hospital offering heart scans for $49. They won't accept me because I'm 36. You have to be over 40 for that program. If not, you got it....go through family doctor.

I'm so tired and upset. My cholesterol came back borderline high. I don't want to take meds for it - I know my weight is contributing. If I go to the old doctor, I think he'll say take thyroid meds, take cholesterol meds, see a cardiologist, and take adipex. That's not healthy.

All right! Blood results are in. My cholesterol ratio is a little high, but my tsh is good! Not slightly high or low. My brother in law looked at my ekg and reassured me that it was highly unlikely that I'd had a heart attack/the "abnormal variant" was just the thing doctors told me not to worry about 7 years ago. Doctor's office apologized and offered a refund for the craziness that was going on.

My kids just met the other woman & I'm ok. Not sure why, but it went better than I thought it might. Lots of clinging and hugs, but the first hurdle was cleared.

Now- I spent 3 days in NYC! Saw some old friends and had a great time. Tonight's bloated weight (flying & lots of bread).....
202.4/38.6/44.2. My weight is up,but I checked 2x, 15 minutes apart. Accordingly to my calculations, I've added 3 lbs of muscle and lost 8 lbs of fat since 7-10. My water % is averaging 3% higher, which is great in this summer heat.

Hang in there. You are doing great and a real inspiration, especially considering the life changes you are going through. Hard days, great days...they all move us forward and we get to decide where we land based on the choices we make.

Thanks! Tonight 203/37.7%/44.9%

Not sure why I'm holding so much water. We're having a humid heat wave- maybe that's playing in. I'm going to cut back on meat and bread for a few days, see if that changes anything.

Regardless, weight * body fat % seems to be trending in the right direction. I would have loved to be creeping up on 190, but I'll live.

Does muscle hold more water than fat? I need to Google a reliable source.

Ok, 1 hectic week later -
199.4/42/41.8%. I went to NYC and ate some fun food, so I've been swimming extra the last 2-3 days. My scale weight is bouncing around so much, though. I was 204 last night. (And I've had breakfast today). I need to try to be more consistent about time of day that I weigh (or not- my clothes look a look better and I'm less bloated/cellulite-ish.)

Tomorrow I head to a week long work conference with catering and snacks. Hopefully they follow the usual tradition of lots of easy, delicious & healthy food to go with the unhealthy standard foods.

see you when I get back!

Ok- 1 week later. Want to guess what time of the month it is?

End of the day weight- 205.6/38.4%/44.4%

If that's true, my muscle/other is trending up at 35.4 lbs. Water weight is up 8 lbs. (Travel + heat + hormones). Fat is a low for the month. I may weigh in again tomorrow morning. See where things are.

Set up tv and exercise bike in the basement. Maybe I'll start tracking miles.

2 weeks later- 198.6/39.5%/43.5%. Just chipping away - school started for the kuds and I'm working a ton, so this is my slow and steady wins the race period.

@FindingDory: I love your goals and your commitment to yourself! The weight might not be coming off as quickly as you'd like but it is clear that every day you are learning something new about what works and doesn't work for your body. A long time ago, I read a post from someone on one of these threads that we are all "an experiment of 1"; meaning, we are each so unique it is pointless to think what worked for one person will work exactly the same way for another. You're doing the very necessary and challenging work of "experimenting" on your unique self. Each of your posts reveals a stronger and tougher Dory.