SPOT ON! 8 years ago, I lost about 130 pounds and got down to around 165. I was a size 16 and I looked and felt GREAT! I felt so healthy and loved buying clothes. I can't wait to be there again.

Yup. As someone who will be starting a PhD this fall, I feel ya. Educated people should spend their time running marathons, not trying to lose weight.m:p I KNOW that's just a stereotype, but overall, educated people do often seem to be thinner.

Junco - hate the stereotype but it's in the back of my mind. I will be finishing my MA this fall and I just want to shout from the rooftops how excited I am (first in my family to get any type of degree let alone an advanced degree). Maybe that is why I am going through this so when the hooding ceremony and commencement comes around I will be one of the thin educated people - oops I think that was another confession.

Funny thing about that is that you wear this big robe that you can't really tell who is fat and who isn't :) Thanks for understanding. Good luck on your PhD. There is a forum out there for grad students you should check out if you haven't already.

Another confession - this is a great thread - I want to lose weight so that I can actually be in the Christmas card picture this year instead of just putting the kiddos in it. Been too embarrassed in previous years - this year that changes!

STOP READING MY MIND!!!!! :D I feel the same way.

I confess:
I haven't been here in a month because I'm depressed. I hate the way I look, and when I read about progress that others have made, it makes me green with envy. Its not that I don't want anyone to succeed, I just think to myself (sometimes) "ugh, shut up. It's not coming off that fast for you and not me!"

I eat when I'm happy, sad, bored, mad, drinking, blah blah. I know why I'm fat. I love food. Alot.

I cried this morning when I got on the scale. I weigh more than I ever have. My jeans are too tight.

I wish I still smoked, and imagine myself sneaking cigs so I don't eat. Would I rather have lung cancer than this fat ***? Maybe right now I would.

I like when I see pics of friends, old classmates, etc on facebook and they're pudgy.

After stopping Diet Coke for 2 months, I'm back on them.

Last night was the first time I've been embarrassed having sex with my husband because of the way I look, and we've been together for 13 years. I put a pillow over my head, y'all....so I wouldn't see my tummy.....

This is me.

I confess that there are very few times in a day I'm not thinking about food! What do we need at home? What can I make for dinner? Should I eat out for lunch, even though I brought it? What can I snack on all day that won't make me gain a million pounds?!

Sometimes I wish I smoked just so I wouldn't be feeding my face as often as I do.

Just wanted to give you a BIG :hug: I also struggle with comparing myself to others. I only loose 1lb / week on average. When I loose more I know I will "pay" for it the following week in a minute loss or even a small gain.

You are the ONLY you around! So many people love you - you have to start trying to see what they see. NOT the fat, but the cool stuff that makes you - you!

Glad to see you back on the boards - hope you stick around. :hug:

You guys are making me tear up again.
Thank you, thank you for your kind words.

Ok, I have more to add since everyone is being so honest.

I live in Maine but own a few houses along with my husband in Buffalo NY. I feel good about myself when I am in Buffalo. A very large portion of the population is overweight....my guess is 75% but I am sure I am exaggerating a bit. I walk a bit taller and feel sexy there.

I secretly wish people I know that become pregnant and were skinny before stay a bit pregnant looking. Afterall, why should they lose the weight when I didn't?

Sometimes I wish I had anorexia but only have it last for a week or two, just long enough to lose the last few pounds.

I say my goal is 145-147 but I would love to see 140, then I think I would be happy.

I have to confess that I have thought the same, too. I used to think "well, if I smoked I could go outside and have a cigarette instead of eating something."

I also confess that in the past I have sat on the floor by the toilet, chewed food, and then spit it out in the toilet in an effort to lose weight. Luckily I only did it once before I realized how frigging stupid I was being.

I've seriously thought of throwing it back up but then my senses come to me and I worry about my teeth. Just my teeth! How sad! Ruining my teeth is what keeps me from doing it.

I haven't been able to stick to my SB diet like i did a few weeks ago for the life of me.

OMG, same here!!! I've spent way too much money on my teeth to ruin them. It's one of the reasons I won't get the labret and tongue piercings I want so much. I clench my teeth and cause small fractures that allow bacteria to get in...as a result I get cavities pretty frequently and have to have fillings put in. No telling how many thousands of dollars I've spent out of pocket over the year on my teeth!!!

I clench too.

I confess that I want to lose weight but I can't seem to stop eating this past week. I question my motivation.

I thought this one was interesting because I gained 30 pounds while in my PhD program. Students have some of the unhealthiest habits on the planet and I went to a military school! Definitely keep your fitness in mind...it's soooo easy to let that slip when exams come around.

I confess that I used to be jealous of skinny people. I used to think they were naturally thin and wished I had their fast metabolism. I have since woken up and realized all my "naturally" skinny friends have to exercise, and when we go out to restaurants, they make healthy choices, or plan ahead to allow the calories in their day. I realized that they have to work hard to stay thin.
This has helped me tremendously with changing the way I think about weight. If I want to be thin, I have to work for it and plan plan plan!

I confess that I don't know if I can ever get to my goal weight, and even if I do, I don't know if I could maintain it. I have a feeling I may stop at 135. I'm also afraid of losing my boobs and curves that I love

I also confess that I have stretch marks on m outer thighs and tummy from 2 pregnancies (2 9 lb babies), and even though I don't like the way they look, they are a reminder of the amazing thing my body has done by giving life to 2 beautiful children :)

I have stalled at 134. I cannot go down any further for more than a day. I will admit, I haven't been half as strict as I was so maybe I'm lucky that I've stalled and not gained.

I cannot get back to being strict, I can't figure out why. Maybe my mindset has fallen back to not thinking I deserve\need to lose it? I don't even know but, it's depressing. I confess, maybe I'm scared and I don't want to have to watch every morsel I ingest for the rest of my life, and maybe I'm trying to be happy at this weight.