broken hearted
 

Please know that of course they love you. Children don't always have the social graces to say things in a way that disguises the meaning.

This is an opportunity for you to learn how to feed yourself well and to feed your children well so they can grow up and have a healthy relationship with food.

You ARE NOT ALONE!

First, it doesn't take much if any longer to cook good food than it does to fix junk. And you have built in exercise equipment right there at home. Get active with those kids of yours. Little by little. You can't snap your fingrs and make it disappear, but you CAN talk to your kids about it and tell them how you are going to get healthier and how you can all work on it together.

It will be okay. You need a chance to calm down and think of a plan and then work towards a goal. Maybe just 10 lbs for now, or walking twice a week. Be patient and kind to yourself. And come here and post when you need support. We are here for you!

HUGS!

Barb

I remember when my daughter and a friend told me I was fat. They are kids, and to them it's just as innocent as saying I'm blond, or I wear glasses, or I'm tall.

I took it in stride. It is what it is. So what?

When you are ready to change it, you can! That's the great thing about fitness -- any time you are ready to do it, you CAN !

Break it down into smaller steps and don't feel like you have to do it all in one go.

What do you feel up to tackling? Maybe just no changes at all but start writing it down in a food log?

A.

Do they hear you talk about your weight and dieting? That could be where it comes from. Kids that young don't often have any emotional thoughts one way or the other about fat, except what they've heard.

Awww! Your post made me tear up. I can totally relate! I had to explain to my 6 year old that we don't call people "fat." The good thing is that this is your beginning point. A lot of us count calories. We use a site called fitday. If you don't know where to start, try loggin onto there and get an idea of how much you should be eating. Start a food journal and count your calories. It is going to take a little bit of your time to start. Once you have a better idea of how many cals are in foods that you eat frequently, it will get easier. I am going to come back and see if you posted here tomorrow. I hope you have. :)
-Mel.

I am so sorry that has happened to you. My cousin once said i was fat on my grad day i nearly died im sure millions of people have been right where you are..

You have a support systems Everyone on here has been/is in the same sit. with their weight and health thats why where here! We will be your support system as will your kids!

You can start to eat differently and change your lifestyles.. my personal opinion is that diets dont work! you need to overhaul your life dont like change it.. its hard i know but just think of how good you'll feel doing it..

You could slowly change the way you eat... say add more veggies or instead of fast food.. get your kids involved and cook together get them helping so its a family affair...

dont give up.. if you keep your eyes on the sun you wont see the shadows:)

Good luck

Stay motivated, focused and comitted to your goals. As for your girls, they love you NO MATTER WHAT- I promise.

That made me tear up. I can remember being young and asking my mom why she was fat. So I think it is just because children don't understand how hurtful it can be. I think you should talk to them about it just so they know it's not polite to call people fat.

You can lose weight. There are a lot of resources and amazing people on this forum. Good luck!

thank you guys. i know they are too young to really understand how hurtful it can be to call someone fat. they are just kids, it just stung to hear them say it.
i am going to work on a plan today and go to fitday and look around. i have done calorie counting before and it seemed to helped, just need to work on finding the time to get more exercise in other then a walk for 20 min on my lunch at work.
your support means a lot since i have no one here to support me.
my husband is and always will be a skinny guy. he really doesnt' understand and just tells me he loves me no matter what. plus we only see each other on the weekends so he can't stop me from eating like crap all week. i need to get my head in this and just get it done.
thanks again

I think everyone else chimed in really well on the kid issue, so I will skip and address your last post regarding "finding the time."

This was a BIG problem for me. I thought my reasons for not having time were really valid reasons. Nope. I found ways to exercise and started challenging my thinking. It's not all black and white. If I can't find 2 hrs to exercise a day, I still can start on a program. Your 20 minute walk sounds like a PERFECT place to start. Don't wait to start until you can find more time than that. It might not happen. Your body is 80% nutrition, 10% exercise and 10% genes. Start "now." Every choice you make throughout your day is a part of the plan. What am I going to eat for lunch, snack, dinner? What am I going to do on my lunch break? Ooh those cupcakes look good - nope, don't eat those. I'd really like a glass of wine and a cheese plate to end my stressful day, I deserve it - that's a choice too. Start thinking in ways of "How can I get this to happen?" rather than in ways of "I wish I could do that, but ___." You'll find when you switch your focus, things start to fall into place.

I am sending so many hugs and encouragement! I can't wait to see your progress! :hug: :cheer2:

Just by coming here you are already making a difference! I thought I didn't have the time or resources to start. I'm not into exercising but I started walking in my neighborhood with my son. Now he keeps me accountable because he won't leave me alone until I take him for a walk. I also bought some resistance bands and do a short work out at home. The most it takes is 10 minutes. You can find tons of videos on youtube to show you how to do it. Also look for recipes online, there are lots on this forum too. Take it one day at a time and you'll achieve your goal.

Oh and it's not just kids that call you fat. My 80 year old uncle told me that I've always been so fat. :eek:I think all of us on this forum have experienced something similar and can completely relate to you. We'll pull through this together. :grouphug:

Well shucks.. I had a super long post all typed out and went to post it, something went wrong and it vanished.. Argghhhh


you've take the first step which is realizing you need to do something. Most importantly at this early stage for you is to PLAN. Make a plan of what you are going to do, calorie count, etc. etc and stick to it. And remember that messing up is only messing up once, don't let it throw you completely off course. Climb back up on the wagon.

Hang around with us, get support here, you'll learn alot and you will make new friends too.

I will echo 100% what Mel said. If you cannot find the time, you will not find the time. Since I'm a relieving teacher, I need to find time before or after school to workout. After school is out completely, otherwise, I'll be doing cardio for 3 hours (an hour at the gym and 2 hours worth of karate classes three times a week). That only leaves before school. I'm up at 6am, having a run or weight train session at 7am, finish at 8am and go to school for 9am when we start. But I am determined to get my 5 sessions per week at the gym and if I have to go to bed a little earlier, then I'll go to bed a little earlier.

The committment is the hardest part. The rest is less hard (not easy, just less hard). You didn't gain all that weight overnight and you won't lose it overnight. A little time and a little (okay, a lot) of patience.

Over here in New Zealand, they're recommending exercise "snacks" for people who can't find an hour, but can find 15 minutes here and there. 20 minutes three times a day; 10 minutes 6 times a day- whatever works for you.

Good luck and stick with it!! You can do it. Believe in yourself.

*nods* @ everyone's posts.

It takes 1 month for something to become a habit. So start making the changes and stick to it for a month. After that it will get easier. Do you have a desk job? You could get a stability ball to use instead of a chair. Doing crunches on one of those is a heck of a workout too. You could youtube videos on other exercises you could do with it.

Let us know how your planning is going.

Man o man....... U r in the right place! Soon ur kids will be ur biggest Cheerleaders! I know this cuz my 12 n 15 year olds r mine....
Sending positive vibes ur way!

Man o man....... U r in the right place! Soon ur kids will be ur biggest Cheerleaders! I know this cuz my 12 n 15 year olds r mine....
Sending positive vibes ur way!

i've been looking at this p90x, any of you heard of, done it, know some one doing it? just looking for some ideas on it. all the success stories on the web site for it of course only show people who were a little flabby and then tightend up, i want to know if works for some one who is over wight and has 65 lbs to lose.
it's looking like i will be calorie counting to start it off here soon. i'll try to stick to 1500 calories or less a day, and try to get in at least 60 min of exercise a day more during the week and try to get more in on the weekends.
i do sit at a desk all day at work taking calls in a call center. i plan to start walking 20 min on my lunch and then get in 30 -40 min at home after work and supper with the kids. it was so nice out today we went for walk with the dog, and i did 10 circle around the driveway pulling my 5 yr old in the wagon. doesn't seem like much but every little bit helps.
going to be now, busy day tomorrow.
keep keeping on to all

I do know people who are/have done the P90X. It is (and the literature that comes with it says) for the already some what fit. I am planning on doing it in a couple of months. BeachBody has a lot of other great programs that might be better for a beginner. I did the P90. The Slim in 6 was a good one. I would advise you to start off with something like that. Pulling kids in a wagon works your butt pretty good. I have done that a few times this week and can feel my buns moving. I'm glad you're still coming back here. Don't stop.

The P90X weights/cardio part looks like a good program from just reading about it and getting an overview of what it's about. Periodisation and cross training do help your muscles and fat-burning and of course, after a cardio workout, you do need to put some muscle back on (weight loss is 75% fat loss, 25% muscle loss, so putting muscle on is a good thing!)

I'm not sure about the nutritional aspect of it though. I'm always very wary of someone who touts their own nutritional foods and nutritional advice. From what I've read, there's a low-carb portion at the beginning of the program. Carbs are not your enemy; in fact, when you work out on cardio days, carbs are most definitely your friends! Your body needs fuel somehow and protein just doesn't do it for quick energy. On strength training days, eat more protein-based foods, but don't forget the carbs.

I don't think you'll lose the 65 pounds in 90 days; it's too much, too soon and eventually you'll fall into the trap of gaining it back plus some; that's why a lot of fad diets fail: you can't go back to eating what you did before the diet because you probably ate more calories than you were burning. With the diet's restricted calories, you were losing.

Calorie counting is a fool-proof way of weight loss: if you eat more calories than you burn, you'll gain; if you burn more than you eat, you'll lose. It's hard going sometimes but it forces you to look at what and how you're eating so you can make the changes.

Like I said, the workout sounds awesome; it's right up my alley. Any workout is a good workout, even if it's pulling your son around in a wagon on the driveway. :D

When I did the BeachBody program before (the makers of P90X) they endorsed the Zone type of eating. It would be so much % carbs so much % fat and so much % protein. I don't remember the percentages. They were strictly against low carb or low fat. Mollz, want to do P90X with me? I will prob do it at the end of May or beginning of June.

thanks guys. i know i will not lose 65 lbs in 90 days. i would like to but know i won't. i will work on some other ecercieses till i get more fit then look into the p90x. i have tae bo dvd's that i used to love to do and they would kick my ***, i will have to get those back out. and i really want to get a treadmil, the elliptical i have is good but i don't like it, i get tired after 15 min and then get off, i can do a treadmill for 30 min no prob. i am looking at our sports store today to see if i can trade it in and if they have any good treadmills. some days just don't work out for a walk with the kids and it would be nice to walk and work up to run afater i put them to bed.
i'm getting excited about this, about starting and working on it and seeing the lbs start to drop. i know it is a slow process and that sucks but even if i can lose at least 2 lbs a week i will be good.
gotta go, lots to do today.
will be back later

Ahhh...to be a child! Just remember that your children are looking at you through their children's eyes, the world is a bigger place to them. I remember when I was young and my mother struggled with weight issues, she complained constantly about her weight. And as her child, I thought she was fat too, she was 140lbs. It was the fact that she thought she was fat and because she was much bigger than myself. Remember being younger and everything around is so much bigger than it is now? Same thing. My children think I'm fat too, but I just brush it off. It is all in perspective. Of course this will bother you and make you feel horrible, but please keep in mind children have a different view of life.
Just the other day my son, whom is 10 years old told me that he will never look up another girl that he finds cute on tv, because he was disappointed at the age of a cute girl. He thought she was really old, then he told me that she was 24! LOL, kids are the darnedest things!

Mom, there is a great program called c25k. It stands for "couch to 5k." There are quite a few ladies on here who are/have done it. You can google it. They have a Facebook fan page too. It starts off doing walk/run intervals and builds up to being able to run for 30 minutes in 9 weeks. I finished mine about a month ago. Now I run for 45 minutes 3 times a week. If you are wanting to get into running, I would HIGHLY recommend it.

Aw, I can imagine how much that would hurt. Try to remember, though, that kids say what they mean, and there's nothing else behind it. Yea, they might think their mom is fat (not for long, because you're changing that!) but that has NOTHING to do with how they feel about you as a person. Adults say things like "fat" or "ugly" to be hurtful or to cover up another emotion. Children are just describing what they see.

had the worst day and the diet if not starting till monday when i get back home. my mom has been sick and keeps falling, today she fell down the basement stairs and was busted up pretty bad. this is her 3rd fall in the last month down stairs. this time she split her head open and has 18 stitches, so i drove 3 hrs back home to be with her. the doctors have been treating her for parkinsons for over a year now. so we know it will get worse but these falls are not doing her any good at all. she has aged about 15 years in the last year, in her looks and health.
i will post more later if i have time, i am going to sleep at the hospital with her tonight so not sure when i will get back to a computer.
keep up the good work to all

Oh no! I'm so sorry to hear that! My grandmother had Parkinsons. All I can say is my heart goes out to you :hug::hug::hug::hug::hug:

Please come here if you need to talk to someone. You couldn't ask for a nicer group of ladies to try to support and encourage you.

Take it one day at a time and you would get there. Don't be sad about what your daughters said they are kids, my daughter has said things before about my weight but you can't mistake what your children said with the love they have for you.

mom is going home in about an hour. so glad for that. i just hope my dad can handle taking care of her. i know he will do good, i just worry about them both.

diet starts tomorrow, counting calories, eating alot kess and exercises. i went and bought jillians 30 day sred and will try that out.


till later, keep losing

I think you got the greatest motivation now! Its hard to get started when you dont feel like changing. But now you heard what kids are saying and that will really boost your motivation. Every time you feel like eating something you are not supposed to, or dont feel like excercising - think of what kids were saying. That will put your back on track really quick.

i just got done baking 6 chicken breast in water with fresh broccoli, couliflower and baby carrots, so i can eat that all week, or at least a few times a week, will also eat some salads and lean cuisine meals and exercise at leat 20 min walking at work and then 30-40 min at home each day
good luck to me

Whoo hoo! That's excellent!

was all pumped to go to work and start my new routine there. but have been up off and on all night with a sick kid, and had to call into work today to stay home with her. o'well. will try my first new life day here at home and see how it goes. good luck to all, eat healthy and sweat lots......

Good job keeping on track with your 1st new life day! It's all in the small steps...life will constantly try to derail you. If you can keep moving forward (even in very small steps), you'll be headed in the right direction.

Sending happy thoughts your way.

Totally agree with AFChick. There have been times when I had to dig dirty workout clothes out of the hamper and wear them to the gym. I just put it in my head that not having anything clean wasn't going to keep me from working out. Great job on that mental determination shift!

Great job on getting thins rolling! You have a lot going on and you're putting in a lot of effort. You'll do good.

:(:(:( when it rains it pours!! just got done spending the weekend in the hospital with my mom. called in sick on monday to stay home with my 6 yr old who has been sick and puking, went back to work today, the hubby took her to the doctor, and holy **** she is in the hospital now. severe pnemonia. 106 temp, about 1/2 of her right lung and 1/4 of her left lung. the poor little thing. and it took 4 attempts to get the IV in, damn nurses. she is a brave one tho, she did not cry at all. just asked them to wait till she was ready before they tried each time. now she is in pain tho from the meds losening all of it up her lungs her right side is hurting and she is a daddy's girls right now. so my youngest and i came home to let the dog out, and get a few things to take there. they say at least 2 days. so i will be off work all week. there goes the rest of this years vacation time. o well kids come first. and we'll meet our deductible the insurace after this stay, so should be good for the rest of year there too. it's just been a rough 6 days so far and trying to start my diet yesturday. i stuck to it and am trying today, had bagle for breakfast and roast beef and cheese sub way sub for lunch, don't know if i will get the exercise in yet these next few days, will try to do something.
till later, keep keeping on! i know that is what i have to try and do. can't change any of it just have to deal with it the best we can.......

Great advice in this thread! Sending out a huge hug for you. It's going to be okay! They'll love you regardless!

home for the night with my youngest, will go back to hospital tomorrow morning, did ok on eating, had a salad from mcd's for supper. no exercise, still need to work on getting that in each day.

I agree with everyone's posts, and they have great ideas. I love Mollz's suggestion for exercise snacks, that is a great way to look at things.

I am an NP with a busy practice, also do ER, and have a 6 year old daughter, 3 year old son, and a husband. We have two dogs, our kids are in lots of activites, and we are active in church. I just know that I have all of these things going on, and I look at exercise like I look at taking a shower or brushing my teeth--nonnegotiable, so I find the time to do it. I get up by 0445 most mornings to get to the gym, run or walk outside, walk the dogs, lift weights, etc. I try to walk in the evening, if possible, although that doesn't always happen. I look at exercise as just something that I need to get to most days.

Fitting in exercise has never been an issue, I love to run and work out. My problem has always been the eating aspect; you can out-eat any exercise that you do. So you have the option of making good choices throughout the day--your eating will impact your weight immensely! I am just realizing this and trying to change this part. It is very hard!! But keep at it, you can do it!

You'll get lots of support here, so keep checking in; it's very helpful. I also love to hear about everyone's progress--it makes me happy for them.

Little choices each day will add up to big changes......

R :)