Single Thirty somethings!!!!

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  • neurotictigg:Good for u for going off pop! I'm impressed. Also I'm not too familiar with Crohns...does dieting trigger symtoms or reactions?

    ViolinJenn: I hear you about counting calories...I just started last week and it's amazing. I never realized how much I was eating b4. I thought I was dieting and I really wasn't.

    wennygrrl: I love your "pick up" stories...don't go back to you ex! I think that sometimes overeating is an addiction. I've heard that if you are prone to eating disorders that it is something you have to pay attention to all your life. Sometimes like alcoholics. Two people prone to addictions could be scary if you're both not in a "safe" place. And I loovvve the choc milk Idea. I'm going to do that. I might heat it and make it hot choc! I love it! THanks!

    wyoming: I was reading this book today and the woman in the book ordered a gin and tonic, because she didn't really like them. That way she could drink and she would drink it really slow? I'm not sure if that would help? I'm not a big drinker...so I just order a club soda and lime and tell everone it's something else...no one knows!

    jenjen: yes, I have to just pay attention to the weekly one. I have made a graph and I am tracking each 1/2 lb. I do weigh daily. But really focus on the 1x a week one.

    Goldm00n: Hear! Hear! I second you, this group has such great ideas! And that's amazing that you quit and didn't go back to smoking and the diet at the same time! good for u!
  • well it wasn't easy Pam but WORTH IT!

  • Thanks Pam! I actually love Gin and Tonics, but I do drink them slower than a Cosmo...maybe it's time to switch over! Right now I'm going to limit myself to only going out for cocktails once a week, which is a serious limit for me!!

    I haven't started counting calories to the tee, but walking through the grocery and looking at all the impulsive things I used to buy...I mean WOW it's kind of gross how much I used to eat just aweful stuff for my body. Hopefully the EW factor will stick!
  • The pop thing is not as bad i thought it would be. As for the crohns its a digestive inflamation problem. Its a diesease that effects everyone differently and the symptoms are not the same for everyone. Dieting isnt a problem just makes me take more care on what I should and should not be eating.


    ***UPDATE__ I went to see the doc today and finally have been put back on meds for the anxiety and ocd so things are looking up
  • Yesterday at dinner I just wanted to eat and eat and eat. Thankfully I was aware of it and I was able to realize what it was about. As soon as I put my finger on what was bothering me I was able to stop wanting to eat! I'm learning that it is hardly ever about the food.

    Yesterday I had a meeting with someone, (about the cookbook) and the meeting went so well and she gave me huge ideas and contacts. I felt so good. Abruptly she had to leave though. Our meeting was at 2pm and at 3:07 she was very : I've got to go.

    I was scared that I had said something wrong, even though she asked me to keep in touch and perhaps she was supposed to leave at 3:00pm...

    I guess at dinner I hadn't processed this. I was so excited about the meeting. And so overwhelmed at moving forward. And scared that I offended her.

    The key to stopping myself from continued eating was to be aware and express these fears. No solution was needed. Just allowing my self to feel did the trick. Also I know that part of me is very resistent to letting myself like myself and not being stuck in the "dieting and hating myself".

    I give myself credit for being so aware yesterday and making it through another great day. The really big thing is letting go of the old self sabotage system.
  • Pam Rocks!
    Hey Pam,

    Way to go!

    That's so great that you're able to recognize the difference between your hunger...I have been noticing patterns of when I get hungry too...isn't it amazing how powerful our minds are??

    Happy Friday everybody!
  • Hi Everone,
    Since I've been doing the Beck Diet. I've started noticing how much negative talk goes on...I'm not really noticing the negative talk...more the all of a sudden I'm depressed. So now I know when I'm depressed to role back my "tape" and see what has been going on and usually its something like "l'll never get this or I'll never be that..." so now when ever that happens I just figure out what negative thing I'm telling myself...reverse it into the positive "I will get thiss.... I will be that'''' and just say it like a mantra over and over and over...It seams to work. So good for me!

    wyoming: It is truly crazy what our minds have been doing to us...hopefully once we get it we'll never go back?

    In my own plan, I'm almost on day 21. Go me! I'm amazed. this is so beautiful. I'm mainly trying to stay between 1600 and 2000 calories and its working. I'm also running every day.

    Anyway thats about it!
  • Hi everybody!

    I haven't checked in in awhile. I am glad to see that everyone is doing well. I have had a very "crazy" week and my regular routine has just fallen by the wayside. It makes me laugh to figure out how set in my ways I've become. When I wasn't on this "healthy" kick I was much more spontaneous, but now I still feel as if I need to "plan" for stuff. I really want to change that. I don't have a problem with having a plan, but I don't like feeling nailed down to it.

    I have also been struggling with the fact that my entire life seems to be about my weight loss. Part of me really enjoys the attention I am getting, but part of me would like attention based on other things. I am not my weight or weight loss. I really can't blame it on others though as I am soooo focused on working out and eating right. When does it just become a part of your life and not the whole thing? I mean I go out, and friends ask me how I am and what I have been up to, and all I have to say is that I am doing good and my life really consists of work and working out. I don't have much time for anything else. I leave the house before 7:30 most mornings and don't get home until 9 pm. That doesn't leave a lot of time for a social life. I am getting out most weekends at least one day/evening and I guess that will have to do for now.

    I am just beginning to become interested in dating again. I really wanted to take a break, heal from my last relationship, and figure out who I am and what I really want from a guy. Now, I am so set in my ways I am feeling really nervous and I am afraid to open myself up so I disregard most of the attention I do receive. For example, last night I went to a surprise party for a friend of mine who was turning 40. Anyway, I was talking to a lot of my guy friends and two of them were flirting with me (in a joking manner). This was easy to laugh off and even flirt back a little. There was no feeling of pressure because I saw it all as a joke. But whenever I talked to one of my friends he would just look at me so intently and hugged me really hard when I left that it made me feel a little nervous. Like I don't know what to do or how to respond to him, which is crazy because we have been close friends for a decade. Do any of you ever feel like this? Does intensity freak you out like that? I am just trying to let it go, but it has been difficult and I want to really figure out what is wrong.

    Whatever, sorry for the ramble, but I've had a lot on my mind of late and I am just trying to process.

    Pam, I just wanted to let you know that I think that you have grasped the true path to lasting weight loss. For me my "heaviness" and "addiction to food and fat behavior" was about 90% mental and only 10% physical. CBT can be a lifesaver to many people dealing with very serious issues. (However, I may be biased as I work as a social worker/counselor in the mental health field and am diagnosed with depression for which I take meds and go to therapy. )

    Anyway, my post has gone on forever so I will close with healthy, happy wishes for all of you!!
    Oh and by the by, WI was Friday and I am down 2 lbs.
  • I am thrilled to see this thread and would love to hop on the wagon. It seems like you have all connected well and being in our 30s I can related to so much of what has been discussed. I hope I can join your discussions.

    I'm 35, single, never married, no kids, need to lose weight for my health (if not for cosmetic reasons). I've had only one serious relationship under my belt and only one handful of dates. The relationship lasted almost 2 years and that was about 3 1/2 years ago. I haven't had a date since. Mostly because I was so affected by the aftermath of the relationship, it's taken me this long to get back on my feet and feel like myself again. It amazes me that a man can affect ones life so deeply without the intention of doing so.

    Wennygrrl, I can totally relate to your struggles. I feel like my weight and my weight loss efforts (or sometimes lack thereof) are totally life consuming and life inhibiting. I don't have the success to lean on so I'm not much help in terms of telling you that all the hardwork your putting in right now are leading you down the yellow brick road. Your an inspiration to me being dedicated to your health. It takes a gutsy and fabulous woman to love herself enough to take good care of her body. I need to learn from that.

    For me, I"m at a place right that I haven't really been in my life. Since i was a teenager I have been chubby and once I got to college and on my own, the weight just piled on. Through it all I always kept up the desire to lose weight or watch what I eat. I was never very successful at it because I would just keep quitting the diets but at least I would try. I think I would go on the diets, though, for other people and never really for myself. I often did it to please my mother because if I didn't she would never let me hear the end of how fat I was. Now, I've reached a point where I just want to stop trying. I don't want to be overweight anymore. But, I feel like everything I've ever done has never worked for me (obviously) and I don't know how else to go about it. So, my current efforts are minimal and my health is suffering because of it. Yet it's as if I don't care. How do I get out of this place? I don't know how to move beyond and remotivate myself. Now, the obesity is affecting my sleep (hence the reason I'm wide awake in the middle of the night typing this) which then affects the rest of my day and ability to workout, etc. It's a vicious cycle.

    Wow, I didn't mean to lay all that out in an introduction, but I guess you could say I need support from others who are in the same phase of life I am.

    All that said, I'm really excited to meet all of you and hope to get to know you better in future messages. I think I'm getting sleepy enough to go back to bed now. Happy Monday.
  • Hello girls...

    Been a few days since I've posted but I have news and updates!!

    First of all my doctor put me back on Paxil for the anxiety/ocd/depression and I'm on day two and feeling much calmer but a little queezy and shaky. I was on it before and its normal (sort of like having butterflies in yur belly)

    I also had some blood work done and my glucose level was a 6.6 and the normal range is 3.0-6.0 so he cautioned me to make some changes or I risk becoming diebetic. Since I gave up pop Mar 1st its a good start now I have to cut down on bread even though I only eat rye and whole wheat I still want to cut it down some.

    My problem is that I dont have enough food knowledge as to what foods are carbs and what contains fibre and so on and so forth so all this is pretty alien to me.

    Have a good day everyone and keep smiling
  • Hello,

    neurotictigg: have you tried just eating Low Glycemic Index Foods? You can buy books in the bookstore that tell you the Glycemic Index of Foods. Its a diet for diabetics. And if you eat that way you will lose weight. The foods will be foods that your body turns to sugar slowly so that your blood sugar doesn't spike. ITs really good cause you'll find substitutes for the foods you love and you'll find you won't have to cut out things like bread...just change the kinds...I think Sourdough is okay...

    julzchiki: Welcome! I'm on the Beck Diet Solution. One of the first things we are supposed to do on this is write a list of reasons you want to lose weight and read it 2x's a day. Also start giving yourself a pat on the back every time you do somthing right. IE: ate what you planned for Breakfast? Say: Good for me for eating only what was planned. (I was really depressed to day and wanted to eat ice cream out side of my planned dessert food and thankfully I didn't. I immediately and all day gave myself credit for that).

    wennygrrl: yes the "mental" aspect of the food is more than the excess pounds. I've been tracking my food in a food diary for about 7 weeks and recently I've realized I'm rarely hungry. I end up wanting to eat because I get depressed about something or my negative self talk. I've been using this sort of CBT in all aspects of my life. I think that's the reason I've always eating. Self hate and sort of this perpetual..."my life will never get better". So now I find my newest mantras are " my life will get better" and "I am good enough".

    I hear you about "all my life is about losing weight" and I think its the mental addiction (for me) of avoiding life. Today I was obcessed/depressed about not working. then I was scared about a day out that I have planned on friday (photograpy for my book, garden show and 2 meals with a friend) and then I was obcessively worried about Sunday. I have a lunch date with 6 other friends. Who all have jobs and 3 are married and I'm not. As you can see I am addicted to making myself miserable and I need to let that go. the weight is also another way to make myself miss out /distract from living. Because I am so fearful. I think the only way out is to call myself on it. "There I go again...distracting myself from fully living" I have to talk about it with my food coach. (She is in Overeaters Annonymous). She reminded me of the fact that every day has it's worries. Just focus on today and pray that you can let go of obcessing and live in the moment.

    Amazingly it has really worked for me, because I've been dieting for 3 weeks now. and lost 7lbs. Down to 156lbs
  • Hey Ladies--

    I just wanted to say a quick hello. Sorry I haven't been on in awhile-- I have been really sick. I need to catch up! I hope everyone is doing well!
  • Hey gang,

    I've been around & reading. Just been in a rut, both personally & professionally, lately. I have maintained though, so that's good. Will write more later.
  • Hey y'all -

    So I broke my Lent promise a bit and partied last night. My first all-nighter since watching calories, etc....I was happy to find that Champagne only has 90 calories a glass (champagne glass that is) - so yay! I started off with Champagne and once we got to the club it was Absolut Peach and club soda - so the Vodka was the only thing that was giving me cals....

    So, I totally went overboard, but calories wise - I probably drank around 600 calories. And with 2+ hours of dancing, I burned at least a chunk of that off last night!

    So, I made it through the night without sucking down a ton of Cosmos and discovered that Champagne is a great alternative - packs a punch too!
  • Hello Ladies

    So how's everyone doing? I've been so busy and stressed it just all got to me and I needed to some me time. Kind of a funny thing to say I know when you are a single girl, but you guys are the only ones who'll understand that.

    I got things squared with the financial aid at school, I'm not getting any but my company pays a generous amount of tuition reimbursement so that's good. I'm not sure my job is safe at work, I'm so bored with very little to do it's starting to worry me. I'm trying to get my financials in order, consolidate my credit cards and pay off the store cards etc.

    You remember that post where I was hoping to here from that Chemist? Well to date nothing. I have a feeling he never got the message. He pulled his profile with 2 days of emailing me via the service, the service did say that I can still email him. I pulled mine off several weeks later to rein in expenses and I just didn't have time for it and only really wanted to get to know that Chemist anyway. I have a strong belief that everything happens for reason in the way that it happens. There is a reason that our paths crossed when they did with the results (or lack of ) they did, but not knowing drives me crazy. LOL!
    But there is still the slim possility that he's just laid back, like all men are, about this. I can do a search without signing to the service so I figure if I see his profile pop up then I can rejoin and email him with a "hello again" email.

    But I am keeping the budget tight and awaiting Spring and the warm dry weather! A good dose of sunshine and I'll be enjoying my freedom! But as much as I enjoy the freedom of not having children or a husband, I am lonely at times and would like to find that special someone.

    So that's my sob story. LOL!

    How are things with you!