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Old 03-05-2007, 08:41 AM   #1  
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Unhappy New & depressed

Not a very attracting title I'm sure, but I am also sure that some can relate. I was on weight watchers last year and did well, but stopped going. While I didn't really gain any weight back, I haven't lost it either. I stopped ww because I was discouraged at a plateau I was on for months. I even added exercise, which I hadn't been doing, and the scale didn't move. I want to now take baby steps (baby steps so I don't set myself up for failure) to get back on track. Summer is coming and although that isn't my only motivation I want to look and feel better so I can be more active with my kids and myself. I am having some personal problems which aren't helping. I feel so alone. I have lived in this town for almost 4 years and don't really have any friends to show for it, plus, my family isn't close (not in geography or emotions) and I am an only child. My husbands family is distant as well and he is also an only child. (so I didn't even marry into a close family). I have always wanted a family that supports each other and have always wanted to be loved like that. How pathetic that a 33 year old feels and needs like a 6 year old! I don't know how to let go or to make friends. I have met some people and have reached out and asked them to do things, but all are too busy or too into their own lives. They already have established friends and families of their own, they don't need anyone else in their circle it seems. I have an outgoing personality and love to hang out, dance, see movies, shop go to bars or do anything really, but having trouble finding people who want to add someone new. I can't rely on hubby and kids to provide that support because 1)hubby is a man and doesn't seem to get the importance of having anyone other than him or the kids in my life and 2)I would never put that pressure on my kids, they're kids and don't need to take care of their mom.

This is so long, I'm sorry for anyone who reads it, but it really helped to tell some of that stuff out loud. I have never felt this alone and helpless. I know I will get out of it somehow, I'm a survivor, but it feels so bad now and it seems all I do is cry.

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Old 03-05-2007, 09:00 AM   #2  
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Hi Focused!! First of all... I can sooo relate to your situation, even though I come from a pretty close family, I hear ya' on the friends thing. Where do you live, if you don't mind me asking? How old are the kids? Maybe through their activities you can meet some parents? How about church? A parenting group, young married's group, women's Bible study?

Most of all though, you can always come here for support, whether it be a or

Oh, and come join us on the "30-Something's Daily xxx" thread!
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Old 03-05-2007, 09:05 AM   #3  
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Hi . . .

You have definitely taken a first, and very important step on the road to better health and fitness by joining us on this site. So many of the Chickies around here have commented on the fact that this is just about the best place you could ever find for friendship, support, and motivation. It helps so much to be able to chat with others who understand exactly what you are feeling.

It is a big, big place and it can feel intimidating when you first arrive. Have a look around and feel free to just jump in and start posting whenever a topic catches your attention. You will always be welcomed with open arms wherever you may land. There are some very active Weight Watchers forums you might like to check out.

Hope you have a great moving and shaking kind of day, girl. Definitely, hope we will be seeing lots less of you, lots more now that you've found us. Welcome aboard.
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Old 03-05-2007, 09:55 AM   #4  
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You know I felt that way when my kids were smaller. My bestest friend is one that I met through my boys football. And you know I'm closer to her then I am to my sisterinlaws ~ it's not magic when you marry into a close family. Actual sometimes it can be chaos. haha You know the sayin' 'the grass is greener on the other side'. Well, I agree with lauren too. A church is a great place to meet people they usually have a small groups organization. And you could find out if your city has any activities such as an exercise class or something. And don't assume people are to busy for friends ~ there are a LOT of woman that FEEL the same as you do. You gotta have FRIENDS! But please come on here to vent and swap stories daily. It's also great! And when you start getting healthy you will have a sunnier look on life! It's true. I was feeling very down before beginning. And i've ONLY been doing it for less than 2 weeks.

Chin up! It's a NEW day! Write down your goals for the day and check them off one by one!

Tina
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Old 03-07-2007, 05:26 AM   #5  
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Hi focusedonchange I second what LBH suggested, I found so many caring people at my church. And I started a literature group there - we meet once a month and talk about a book which is so much fun! It helps me focus on other things than my close family and weight issues......
You said that you love films so why donīt you ask another Mum if she wants to join you to the cinema? You can talk about kids and have a great evening! I am sure the other woman will be happy, too
Hugs, Kirsten
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Old 03-07-2007, 07:34 AM   #6  
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I can so relate to what you're saying. I'm a stay at home mom with two kids and I have no friends. I don't know how to make friends as an adult honestly. I adore my husband but sometimes I wish I had a girlfriend to talk to. I used to be in email contact with my childhood best friend but over the last year or two she's kind of pulled away and I don't know how to say, "Hey, this friendship is important to me" when it obviously isn't to her. I'm not close to my family and while I adore my sister in law she lives 800 miles away. No advice, just know you're not the only one who feels this way.

As far as the weight, you've done great by maintaining! Are you thinking of going to WW again?

Tanya
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Old 03-13-2007, 08:30 AM   #7  
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All,

Thank you for your support, it means everything!

Wendy
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Old 03-13-2007, 03:39 PM   #8  
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Hi focused!

I have totally been where you are. Feeling alone is not pathetic. No matter what our age is we need to feel like we belong and we have people to turn too. Its hard when everyone seems to busy. I can't really offer you much advice but know that you aren't alone. People go through this everyday. heres a hug from me to you...see you aren't alone!
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