[britomart]

This is an email I got from a friend today. Sure, it's all in fun, but seriously... Like we need encouragement to overeat at the holidays?

> Holiday Eating Tips
>
> 1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet
> table knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact, if you see
> carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where they're serving rum
> balls.
>
> 2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. Like fine single-malt
> scotch, it's rare. In fact, it's even rarer than single-malt scotch.
>
> You can't find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares
> that it has 10,000 calories in every sip? It's not as if you're going to
> turn into an eggnog-aholic or something. It's a treat. Enjoy it. Have
> one for me. Have two. It's Christmas!
>
> 3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That's the whole point of
> gravy. Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of
> your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat.
>
> 4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim milk or
> whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother? It's like buying a sports
> car with an automatic transmission.
>
> 5. Do NOT have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control
> your eating. The whole point of going to a Christmas party is to eat
> other people's food for free. Lots of it. Hello?
>
> 6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New
> Year's. You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do.
>
> This is the time for long naps, which you'll need after circling the
> buffet table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of
> eggnog.
>
> 7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like
> frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position
> yourself near them and don't budge. Have as many as you can before
> becoming the center of attention. They're like a beautiful pair of
> shoes. If you leave them behind, you're never going to see them again.
>
> 8. Same for pies. Apple. Pumpkin. Mincemeat. Have a slice of each. Or,
> if you don't like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always
> have three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert? Labor
> Day?
>
> 9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded with the
> mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean, have
> some standards.
>
> 10. One final tip: If you don't feel terrible when you leave the party
> or get up from the table, you haven't been paying attention. Reread
> tips; start over, but hurry, January is just around the corner.
>
> Remember this motto to live by:
>
> "Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of
> arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to
> skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, martini in the other, body
> thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO HOO what a
> ride!"




I plan on doing the last bit, skidding in sideways to the grave with chocolate and a martini, but I'd rather the whole arriving at the grave thing to happen later rather than sooner

[denice81]

it's a joke, right?! some parts seem sarcastic, i guess....must depend on the sorce that sent it to you.

[junebug41]

I laughed, especially at the eggnog one. The last part should be on a magnet or something. It all sounds good and I do really love to eat and I only get turkey and mashed potatoes so many times a year, but then I remember that I used too actually attempt stuff like that and now it would literally make me ill. It just sort of buys into the over-indulgance that the holidays have come to represent. It's good to bring it into check once in a while.

My holiday tips?

-smaller plates if you can help it and not look like an alien at the table

-little by little, spoonfull by spoonfull. I used to heap mounds of food onto my plate and try to attempt it. Now I take a spoonfull at a time and see how I feel. It usually is enough.

- there is absolutely nothing wrong with working out over the holidays. It certainly makes for a softer landing.

-light eggnog doesn't taste all that bad

[NemesisClaws]

LMAO! Love the quote at the end!

[Canadian_Mickey]

THat's funny!!!

[jillybean720]

Yeah, the quote at the end was definitely my favorite part...too cute!

As for real tips, I got a new one at my TOPS meeting this past week: fill at least half of your plate with foods you DO NOT like. It leaves less room for the high-cal stuff you will eat, plus if someone offers you something, you don't have to feel rude by saying no thanks because you can just say you're so full you couldn't even finish what was on your plate!

Initially, I thought, "Well, what a waste of food to take things you know you're just going to throw away!" But then, isn't eating food you really don't need just as much of a waste?

[britomart]

that's an awesome tip, jill! it's so counter-intuitive, but it's a good strategy.....

[spillthebeans]

Cute Jamie! Thanks for sharing, I sent it around to my email list

I just put things on my plate that I want to eat...I mean, why eat things I really don't like that much or waste things?

It's the one day I allow myself to splurge.

[jillybean720]

Originally Posted by spillthebeans

I just put things on my plate that I want to eat...I mean, why eat things I really don't like that much or waste things?

It's the one day I allow myself to splurge.

Well, the point of putting things you don't like on your plate is so you WON'T eat them, not end up eating things you don't like Also, like I said, isn't it just as wasteful to eat food you don't really need?

Additionally, the tips I offered aren't necessarily just for Christmas Day (or whatever holiday you happen to celebrate)--rather, it's for the tons of parties and gatherings that come with this time of year (for example, I have 3 holiday parties this week alone, then Christmas time with my sister and my parents, then Christmas time with my boyfriend's family, then New Year's with his mother, then 2 additional holiday parties in January). I can't allow ALL of those days to be "the one day I allow myself to splurge," and so the tips come in handy

[Jasmine31]

> 6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New
> Year's. You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do.

hahahah I love that one!

[brandewijn]

LOL That was too funny. Loved the sarcasm.

[bellamafia]

Mmm...eggnog.


I don't have to worry about christmas party food because i've not been invited to any. lol.

[jillybean720]

Originally Posted by bellamafia

I don't have to worry about christmas party food because i've not been invited to any. lol.

hehe, maybe I should add that as a tip on how to avoid overeating All the parties I'm going to are just for work and groups I'm a member of, nothing for just friends or anything.

[Calejo]

I love the description of the 10 lb. plate and the "vat" of eggnog... just out of curiousity, does that count as moderate weight training?

[pockets]

Originally Posted by Calejo

I love the description of the 10 lb. plate and the "vat" of eggnog... just out of curiousity, does that count as moderate weight training?

I would say so!! lol

I haven't been invited to any parties either. Probably for the best!