Hello!

SO, I live in an apt with my best friend. We both work, and I also go to school in the evenings. My problem is that I am trying to lose wieght. She always talks about it, and will do it if there's someone to help her stick to it. Now, she's not particularly huge. She's a size 8. I'm a 16-14. But my problem is that I have found that I do better if I don't eat late. My family has always had early dinners, and that's just what works best for me. Problem is, that while I get out at 2-3 (I teach high school), she doesn't get home from work until after 630. I know She has to eat dinner, but is there a way around having to eat with her, unless it is an evening I have grad classes? I've tried gently hinting aruond, but she always waits to make dinner and so i feel guilty the few times I've tried to eat beforehand.
On top of it all, her version of a "healthy" meal is not mine. I have tried to make other suggestions, but she doesn't take them as what they are, instead she mopes.

Help!

Why cant you cook and she can eat what you cook?

Then you can eat when you want and she has dinner ready for her when she gets home.

I would sit her down and tell her that you're starting a new routine and give her the specifics so that she knows what to expect. Maybe write out a few sample menus so she can see (without straight out saying it) that you can't eat what she makes for dinner.

Can you cook separate meals? Or...Can you cook for both of you, especially since you get home earlier? If you cook for both of you, maybe you can either eat early alone or just eat a small portion of the meal and then finish most of your meal with her (if it's important to eat together).

if you cant cook for yourself and one of you has to cook for the both of you I suggest that the person who wants to eat earlier cooks. Or... Whoever has time in the morning can cook for the two of you. If not just let her know that you'd rather eat earlier in the evening because you are hungrier then. Tell her not to wait for you you'll eat when you are hungry.

side note - Shannon who's abs are those in your avatar?

Thanks ladies... I do cook about half the time. I guess the problem is that while I don't see anything wrong with eating seperately, she seems to. I've tried telling her that I will eat early and leave her dinner, because I am doing the diet thing and it works better, but past the first day it didn't really work.
As for menus, the biggest issue right now is that if I don't fix at least two side dishes, then she fixes more (and then it normally sits and gets put in the frige as leftovers) and that she LOVES pork. In any form. I have a hard time getting her to eat any chicken, which is what I live on. (and its better diet wise, IMO)
I guess I just need to have a chat with her, but whenever I try, I try to do it nicely and make sure she knows im not picking on her, but she always ends up making me feel like a heel. Any tips on how do go about that chat is appreciated. And I really thank you guys for the help thus far.

V

PS_ I apologize if I sound like im whining. I wasn't going for that!

Well you have to put your foot down. Your life and your health is worth it. Tell her nicely that you think it is best if you cook for you and she cooks for herself. You may be trying to spare her feelings but your health is more important!

Maybe you can make a point of having breakfast together every day in place of dinner?

Hmm the time thing is a hard one - I'm the opposite, I don't get home until 6.30 and would prefer not to eat until 7.30ish, but my BF is a 5.30 dinner person. Fortunately I don't mind eating by myself, but when we do eat together, we compromise at about 6.30! (Or later if we are going out he he).

Anyway with regards to the food thing, like the others have suggested, maybe sit down with her, and you both write out what your favourite meals (and sides) are to eat and to cook, then plan a weekly/monthly menu that mixes them up - maybe even go to calorieking.com or another website that has calorific values for meals & dishes and work out which sides you should have with which meals to make the dishes "weight loss friendly". Also, even if she wants more food, perhaps just make another side dish that's for her only, and it's her responsibility to finish it up for lunches etc.

As for the pork/chicken thing - lean pork is actually pretty good for you, if she likes pork, perhaps ask her to prepare yours with the fat cut off.. and it is ok to sub chicken for pork in most recipes - perhaps it's the sauces/flavourings she has with pork that she likes more.

Perhaps too, try to eat 1 meal every 2 or 3 days with her at night, and perhaps on the others, you could have a piece of fruit or something with her while she eats, if she really needs someone eating with her.. or just sit and chat if it's the company she's after.

I hope it works out, losing weight while living with others is really hard IMHO.
Cheers
NBK

I'm going to call your room-mate Jessi.

"Jessi, I've come to realize that eating earlier in the day is better for my weight loss. If you want I can leave you some of the meals I prepare for myself so you dont have to cook when you get home, If not just let me know because I realize that you might not like to eat all the stuff I do. Thanks for understanding Jess that I really need to be strict about my diet. "

Thanks for all the help. I made dinner tonight and I didn't get any complaints about anything. We talked about dieting and I mentioned that she needed to get Fitday. She actually brought up the writing downa menu idea, and I agreed, so this Friday we're sitting down and planning things out. Hopefully that will solve some of the problems. I made so much progress this evening, I'll broach the timing subject later this week!