I just need to vent out some things that have bothered me over the past month.
I saw my aunt and uncle for the first time in almost a year. I was happy to see them, no doubt, but the first thing he said to me was, "You lost a lot of weight, are you on any medication?" Now, really...we all know that a quick-fix only makes weight-losing worse (i.e. gaining it all back) and not to mention being unhealthy. Thing is, he mentioned it for the benefit of his wife. Was he expecting me to say, "Oh yes, I am actually. It's wonderful how pills can really help keep weight off in 2 years!". I have been losing weight steadily but they had noticed before, why did he say it now? When I mentioned, "just a balanced diet and excercise" he stopped talking and nodded his head and my aunt seemed so lost. What got me was the thought of him thinking I've been taking meds to keep weight off me. Some people just don't realise the hard work put into losing...
Another thing I want to just ...UGH! Vent...
A friend thinks I'm "starving" myself. She thinks I'm losing weight by starving myself day and night. It came about one day when I had just finished a morning class and my friend decided to take lunch early. She asked if I wanted to join her and I politely told her I ate my breakfast not too long ago. If I was hungry, I would have had a snack but knowing that I wasn't, I didn't. All of a sudden she stops right in front of me and throws a fit and says I need to eat more. What made it worse, everyone around us could hear what she was saying. Right then and there I would have gladly screamed at her for making a big thing out of my "eating issues" but I knew not to make a scene of it anymore and told her not to judge me too quickly. Before I could even explain why I refused to eat, and I clearly told her I had breakfast an hour before, she walked off.
A few days later she says she was "upset" because she doesn't want me turning into a skeleton. Then she begins to tell me that I am already "skin and bones" and that I don't have to lose anymore. I told her over and over that I wanted to lose weight for me, but not to the point of being skin and bones and that as a fact I wasn't (with my tyre hanging out). Still, her stubborness just led from one thing to another and I had words with her before she walked off (again).
I haven't seen her in two weeks and probably best if I didn't. But it just angers me why people have to be so difficult. Others have been supportive, but could do without all this. Why do they do this when you have a new found confidence and ruin it by dictating what's wrong or find something to crash your hopes?
About your friend.... It sounds like she has her own insecurities to deal with. I don't want to judge her, not knowing her personally, but at 177 on a 5'7" body, I doubt you could possibly look like skin and bones. You're well on your way to being fit and healthy. Some people really resist change, even if it is positive... Maybe she sees the old you as non-threatening, and resents you taking that away from her. Is she overweight herself? One of my closest friends is very overweight, and I'm second in line behind her out of our group of friends. Last time I successfully lost weight (and was about where you are now), she started trying to feed me. She'd make sure we went out to places where there was nothing healthy, or when I stayed at her place she'd make lots of unhealthy food and insist that I eat it. I don't think she knew what she was doing, but it was kind of sabotage.
What can I say? People just kinda suck sometimes The best you can do is explain your situation to her. Give her some simple data on BMI, healthy weights, have her grab a handful of your "tyre" . Let her know that you're glad she cares, but that you're in control of the situation. If it would really make her feel better to see you eat, why not arrange a lunch date every week or so? That way you can plan to be hungry when you meet, and she can see you still eat like a normal person. Maybe that would be enough to quell her fears.
I agree with Brit. Stories like these come up a lot here on 3FC (although not from me--I haven't lost enough weight to make others feel insecure ). It seems everyone expects some miracle diet, shake, pill, or cure for being overweight, and when you say "diet and exercise," they feel let down. People just don't understand. This did kinda happen to me last year--I had lost about 45 pounds, so people were noticing, and a woman I worked with asked me "what I was doing." I just shrugged and said counting calories. You'd think I'd just sprouted an extra head the way she looked at me so confused
And like Brit mentioned with the friend, she sounds possibly insecure. Is it possible that you 've always been (as much as I hate to say it, because I know it's true of me) "the fat friend," and now that you're not the fat friend anymore, it's kinda throwing things off-kilter? Not that that's a bad thing, by any means (since you are making AWESOME progress!), but some people just don't deal well with change, ya know?
I don't know what else to say other than YOU GO! for losing the weight and being strong enough to be honest about it even when those around you are acting funny Hopefully, they'll all get over it and enjoy the new you who is healthy enough to keep up with everyone else!
Thanks for the replies. Yes, I have always been the "fat friend" and could possibly have something to do with that. It hasn't been the first time she mentioned skin and bones, but she didn't make a huge fuss until the other day. *sigh* If a lecture isn't going to do her any good, then I might as well avoid her completely or consider talking of a topic off weight (or anything in relation to it, that is excercising and food!).
Thanks for the advice though, but I doubt her stubborness will allow her to think otherwise. She will not give up unless she has it "her" way.
passionfruit, I've always been the "fat friend" too; I have a group of beautiful, thin friends. I've always been the largest one. (If one more guy asks me for one of their phone numbers, and if she's single, I will have to perform an act of such unspeakable violence that I could be sent to jail just for thinking it! I want to be asked for my phone number and if I'm single!!) For years I listened to them tell me that I looked fine, blah blah blah. I think they were trying to spare my feelings, but sometimes I really wish they had just said, "You look fat, Lisa."
Anyways, try the best you can to ignore her negativity. You're doing so awesome, don't let her drag you down!
On a side note, I'm a little nervous about how my weight loss will affect my relationships. I'm going to have to carve out a new role for myself with friends that I have literally known since birth. Is anyone else worried about this, or am I just freaking myself out over nothing?
I'm the same, almost all my friends are slim which makes me the odd-ball . They all don't agree with me when I say I am fat and start commenting on how envious they are of my 'rack' (which is probably only area I don't want deflated! ). But friends do try to spare your feelings because they don't really want to hurt you (even though you might not be, but they don't know that unless they are super mind readers! ).
And NO! You are not freaking out! I also have the same concerns over friendships after I lose all this weight and whatnot . It's best just to think of how you are progressing in your weight loss ( you are coming along great ) and worry about that later.
Thanks, I'm happier when I don't see her and the vent did me good.
Thanks, Louise! I'm glad to know I'm not the only one worrying about it. (I'm a worrier, so if it's there, I will worry about it ) But you're so right, that shouldn't be my focus right now. Besides, if they don't love me when I'm fit, healthy, and happy, then how good of friends could they really be?
PS: My friends have been commenting on my boobies since the second grade. I don't know if they'll recognize me without my TaTas. I won't mind some shrinking there, cause right now it's impossible to find a blouse, let alone a pretty bra, but they better not get too little!
This has been an ongoing problem for me. Since the beginning of the year I have been losing weight semi-steadily. Now is when people are really beginning to notice, but some comments just downright piss me off. For example, one girl at work told me "Don't lose any more weight, you'll lose your looks" I actually had one woman come and grab my side and say "You're turning skeletal on us!" that was a violation I felt like. Sometimes you just have to ignore ignorance...
I used to weigh 252, and when I started losing weight, I also started losing friends. I think they felt as though I were "trying to be better than them" by losing weight. A lot of women especially don't like the whole competition thing when they go out, and they want to be the 'attractive one' of the friends.
This just motivates me more when my friends start ignoring me or saying no to going clubbing when we used to do it every weekend. This lets me know I'm doing something right, and that I'm looking better. I'm determined to create a new life for myself.
Alora - Oh my, someone else grabbing you like that is totally uncalled for! I feel your frustration. Lose your looks?! Now that really screams JEALOUSY! (and also equally applies to the hip-grabbing woman as well). Keep up the amazing work! (and just watch your back )
acire - They weren't genuine friends after all, and I'm glad you found them out during your journey. Their loss, they won't be having fun with the new you . I remember I had a reunion with all my old highschool friends. One of my oldests friends, whom I have known since I was 8, completely avoided me. Everyone else seemed completely surprised with my weight successes except her. Although it came to no surprise because she was always the 'sexy althletic' friend. I wasn't fishing for compliments or anything, but it was really obvious that she didn't like what she saw. So I completely agree with you about friends ignoring you just motivates you further. I find that the negativity gives you that thrust to move further too.
Anyway enough blabbering from me , I wish you the very very best on the rest of your journey!
Something to vent out...
The best you can do is explain your situation to her. Give her some simple data on BMI, healthy weights, have her grab a handful of your "tyre" 
. Let her know that you're glad she cares, but that you're in control of the situation. If it would really make her feel better to see you eat, why not arrange a lunch date every week or so? That way you can plan to be hungry when you meet, and she can see you still eat like a normal person. Maybe that would be enough to quell her fears.
). But friends do try to spare your feelings because they don't really want to hurt you (even though you might not be, but they don't know that unless they are super mind readers! 
. It's best just to think of how you are progressing in your weight loss ( you are coming along great 
, I wish you the very very best on the rest of your journey!
