So much good advice here! I agree that you need to just let her know that these remarks are hurting your feelings and to please stop. If she gets more defensive, just let her say what she wants, but let her know that you still need her negativity with regard to your diet to stop.

Every time you eat something good, and exercise, it's making her aware of what she SHOULD be doing. This is what is making her so defensive. Just cease talking about the diet altogether, so that it will eventually not be an issue between the two of you. Let her know to stop, but that's it. Just tell her how her remarks make you feel and do NOT try and justify your diet or exercise at all. You do not owe her any explanation for why you choose to take care of yourself. Come here for support, because you will have plenty of cheerleaders!

Also, do you really want to hang on to a friend who cannot support you in something this important? It's ok to let go of a friend and not be close anymore. It doesn't mean you have to cease caring about them. It can be a positive thing. Hope everything goes well with you. Keep us posted because we really do care and we want you to succeed! Good luck!

When I posted that first message I expected some help, but this is above and beyond. Thank you all so much!

Here's an update: I told her that she could, in short, back off. As my friend, she should be supportive. Failing that, she should have the decency to back off. One minor flare-up yesterday. She got some nasty fast food for dinner (I love nasty fast food). It had been about four hours since my dinner, so I asked if I could have one of her chicken nuggets. Cause really: chicken nuggets are evil bits of fried fat, but they're also tasty, and one chicken nugget does not ruin a diet. So there. She wouldn't leave me alone about it, basically pointing out that it meant I was failing. I put my foot down and explained what exactly I was feeling and how miserable she's making me (complete with shouting and swearing).

The miraculous thing is that I think it worked. The problem here is that she's not just my friend-- she's my damn roommate. There's no way out, especially because this house is sweet, and I'm not leaving. We're having a period of post-fight silence right now (fine with me). I'm going out tonight to see a movie and have drinks with another friend of mine, so at least for the next few days I'm in the clear.

I'm also joining a gym next week. This means two things. One: hooray!Working out! And also two: less time here. It's sad, but I'll take what I can get.

I'm glad you finally confronted her, and i'm glad about the gym. I'm proud of you for realizing one nugget doesn't screw up a diet! Good for you!!!

Most relationships (friends or otherwise) go through ups and downs. You need to decide how important this relationship is to you. It is possible to be friends without being roomies and it is possible to be roomies without being friends. It really sounds to me like she is threatened by your weight loss, (why would you want to be friends with her once you are thin), and maybe by suggesting she might want to diet and exercise with you she feels that you see her in a negative way (she thinks I'm fat and lazy). Perhaps a bit of a cool down period and showing her that you still want to be friends with her even if she doesn't want to lose weight with you will give her a little more confidence in your friendship. But that kinda means biting the bullet when she is making the negative comments right now. There is really no way to maintain the friendship in the future if you stop being friends over a few arguments right at the start of your weight loss. I think she is going to see it as you deciding you are too good for her now that you are slimmin down. Even though I realize that is not the case, I really don't think she does.