Lizzie, Good For you & Congrats on stepping out of your comfort zone and trying something new. You will love kickboxing! Good Luck and have fun sweating!!!

Hey, do any of you guys have Xanga blogs? I just discovered it today so there's not much on mine, but I think it's pretty cool! If anyone wants to keep in touch there too, feel free to check out my site (under my profile).

I have to post this really quick before I hit the sack because I'm so excited. It really did take a lot of me to step out of my comfort zone and take that class. It was so fun!! The time really flew by and I'm totally pumped up about my next classes... I'm taking sculpting tomorrow and then Cardio Combo thursday.
It was hard, but I'm so glad I went.
Hope everyone has a wwwwonderful wednesday!!


Christy- No xanga sorry
I have a livejournal. It is currently friends only, but I think I'm going to make more entries public soon. I need to get over being afraid of people I know finding out that I'm trying to lose weight.

Hey Christy, I just started one, since you posted. I have 2 now (on different sites), but it gives me something to do, mines on my profile too!

happy hummp day!! whoohoo only a half day at work today! Im so excited!
Lizzie, sounds like your class was fun!! I love love love classes! they keep you going for soo long.
Im gonna get some work done, and go spend the day with my baby... ((GRINS))
Christy~ sorry I have Live journal also, but it is something to do!

I just got back from my work conference so even though it is already Wednesday I am still feeling like it is Monday so hopefully that will help the rest of the week pass quickly. I did workout both days while I was gone (just treadmill bc the rest of the machines at the hotel sucked) and ate moderately. I did indulge in certain things but limited myself at other meals and it worked out pretty well. I figured out a great way to control excess eating--wearing pants that are a little snug in the middle. Don't want to be gobbling cookies and cake till you feel like you will burst so I wore my cute new purple pants yesterday (size 6). No gain, no loss this week.

Hi everyone!

I've been back from vacation for a few days, but the week has been insanely busy at work so no time to post. I feel like I've said that every week for the last few months. My trip to visit my sis last week was great. We haven't seen each other in 14 months (when I moved 1100 miles from her, and neither of us make enough $ to travel at our leisure), and since we're absolute best friends and tell each other everything we were both so excited to see each other. We think we found her a place for her wedding & reception, a beautiful dress, and a pretty maid of honor gown for me.

Of course following my food trends of the last month I ate like it was my only job in life. I actually didn't eat too much unhealthy stuff, even switched out veggies for fries, etc., I just ate way way too much. I think being in a different house was like food sensory overload - so many new foods to try! I actually started eating better on my 8 hour drive home Sunday - skipped the fast food and bought veggies at the grocery store instead - that's when I think I really *felt* the click that's been missing for a while. That Arby's was calling to me but I ignored it (And Sonic after last week's chat). It's been 3 1/2 days of better eating so far. I weighed myself this morning and I'm at 144, w/ TOM, and was shocked the damage wasn't worse. My pants are tight though! So 4 pounds to get back into maintenance range - I can do that.

Paperclippy, that's ridiculous. They should let you out of the lease if they are not providing the security they're supposed to - is there anything specifically in your lease about what management is supposed to provide? Leases are supposed to protect the tenant just as much as the landlord.

I've tried to wear pants a little snug to control my eating, but rather than serve as a control they just push me into that "I'm so fat and disgusting" spiral (I know I'm not fat and disgusting and don't spend most of my days walking around in a cloud of low self-esteem - it's only a temporary thought when I can't fit into clothes!). But I don't want to feel that way for a whole day or night or whatever the event, so I usually change into something comfortable. I would be so thrilled if that worked for me! *sigh*

And back to the 10 things calling to me on my desk. Have a great day everyone!

Lizzie: Yea!!! I'm so happy that kickboxing went great for you! I knew it would! I am also slowly starting new classes to. I started this month taking a weight circuit class which I find is more fun then walking around the gym using machines on my own. I also tried a pilates class awhile back and might even pop in tonight, just to get my workout minutes in for the challenge.

Happy Hump Day everyone!

Welcome back Megan & Liz and have a great half day Justforus!

Lizzie - I completely understand what you mean about getting over that fear of people you know finding out you're trying to lose weight. I have a livejournal as well and all the entries I write having anything at ALL to do with weight are private. (Which are most of them.) When I think about it, I know that losing weight is healthy and most people strive for living healthy lifestyles. So I think my fear must be in knowing that other's would be forced to acknowledge the fact that I'm overweight when I'd rather it was something that could be looked passed altogether. I know it’s stupid to think that they haven’t noticed and that I can magically shrink undetected and be normal like everyone else, but sometimes I think that’s gotta be the only explanation for the reason I’d want to keep one of the most important things in my life right now a secret.

I'm rambling and I'm not even sure if I'm making sense ha ha! I’d better just leave it at: I know where you're coming from.

Lizzie & F4ith~ I know exactly what you guys mean. In fact, I think part of what took me so long to START losing weight was that I knew I'd have to eventually admit to people that I was trying to lose weight...that would be exposing me as a "fat girl" and even though everyone knew it, we certainly didn't talk about it! Finally I was like "look, I'm fat and I know it. So now I'm going to do something about it. I don't want your advice (to my skinny friends) or your sympathy (to everyone)...it's just a fact to accept." I still don't like talking about it to many people...I don't even like it when people go on about how I've lost weight. I just want to quietly get it over with so I can start living a normal, healthy, thin life. Isn't that weird?

Christy- I have a space on MSN spaces. I haven't been there in a few days though, need to do that. I like working on my blog, I'm not that good at it, but it's fun.
I'll put my link into my Profile, I also have it on my signature.

Sara G.

Hello all! I have returned from my sister's testing.. much earlier than anticipated, which is good, because I went SOOOO OT there it wasnt even funny. I was majorly strapped for cash, and of course the cheapest food was cheeseburgers and fries, and I wasn't able to exercise at all.. ick =/. My sister is ok though and we are now hopefully pointed in the right direction to help her.

I will have to read all your posts later.. I am just so happy to be home, and ready to start school, and start on myself, again.. and this time, no falling off!

Hey All,
school started and I have been so busy - and somehow unmotivated in some way to maybe admit to myself to keep to my weight goal lust. Its not like I'm going out of control, cause foodwise im not, and Im excersising. But neither are being strived to as much as before. I guess its the business, the feeling that everyone else doesn't have to do it so hard, so why do i? I don't know. And lizzie, to admit that I'm trying to lose weight. you can't say that to a bunch of guys (some i can, but most - no) because yes, u dont' want to admit to them that you find yourself overweight, u want them to see you as normal, not someone that needs to lose weight. And then I walk home and see all the frats and sorority girls out of their houses (i live near frat row) and its like, how did all these kids get to be rich and for the most part pretty and thin! ah life.

I did get pretty drunk this weekend and spent sunday recouperating. Joys of being hungover, swearing you will never drink again, then find yourself wanting to throw a party and drink soon

ah well - at least classes are going really well, things are picking up with work - so I will get to make some money. Really cute boy moved in down the hall. haha. all things to look forward too - just gotta remember all the things I want in the world (and being skinny is one of them, cause when I stop and think for a moment, I'm gonna get depressed about it)

ok, time to make dinner and do some work, and watch a new show i kinda like "so you think you can dance"

and come back to the boards.

oh and lizzie, I wanted to comment that kick boxing is awesome - I wish they had good classes here at school - but I don't like taking classes with little 18 year olds, even though I could kick most of their asses

Hellloo and good evening ladies. I'm watching sex & the city and trying to stay caught up. I don't know if anyone watches this, but I love watching them over and over again. This is the episode where her ex tells her he is getting married. I'm sulking about my ex and his new girlfriend (obviously cheap, young, too blonde, etc... but seriously she is. And he waited until my birthday to call and tell me. The boy broke my heart and led me on for two years so, I think that sulking is ok in small doses...) so it makes me feel better even when fictional characters feel the same way I do.


Today I went to body sculpting class. It was pretty fun, but not quite as fun as kickboxing was. However, my abs/quad pain from yesterday probably didn't help. I've never even felt those muscles in my stomach, much less worked them out.

My thoughts on conquering my group fitness phobia:
I love doing things that used to scare me. Working out gives me confidence in my body that I never knew I had. It also gives me confidence in myself in general, like being able to get over the fear of being the biggest, frumpiest girl in the class.
Getting over the fear doesn't mean I wasn't those things-- I am possibly the biggest, frumpiest girl in the gym.. maybe the school -- but I am finally realizing that I can either be the big girl in kickboxing class or I can be the bigger girl sitting at home feeling sorry for herself. I feel powerful because I'm doing things, scary things!
Hopefully I will get better and I will stop having that kill-me-now feeling when I do squats, but regardless of those things.. I feel like for the first time in 20 years of trying of to be fit and healthy, and lose weight, I am finally making the steps towards reaching my goals. Does that make sense?
I am really proud of myself.

Thanks for all the support girls!!


justforus- They are really fun! I don't even realize all the time that has flown by!

lizzbabe- ooOoh... short week! Lucky!! And a size 6 in cute pants!

Megan- Good to hear things have clicked! I totally know what you mean about the food sensory overload. New foods are so much more tempting than regular foods (except for maybe... pizza...). Glad to have you back!

Spillthebeans- Thank you!!! I saw the end of a pilates class and it looked more calming or focused or something than the other classes. I'm going to try it, and the rest of the classes. I think I'm an addict!

Christy & h4vef4ith- I actually have 2 just so I don't slip and write too much about weight in my 'real life friends' one. However, my roommates know that I'm getting healthy and I've been trying to talk about it whenever they start to tempt me.
It is still hard for me to draw attention to my size because I'm still half in denial about it. The 'if-i-don't-talk-about-it-they-won't-notice" - syndrome. If only!! If not talking could make me look thinner, I would totally shut up ever once in a while.

bida- Our 'greek village' is right beside the gym. So annoying. It is hard to see large groups of wealthy, beautiful people (especially when they are hogging the machines at the gym!) but I figure they don't notice my me, much less my fatness.
I noticed during my class that even though I was the fattest girl there, I wasn't the most out of shape. Even those skinny, really tanned, well-dressed sorority girls were feeling the burn, and that made me happy.