So, I'm 20 and I still live with my grandmother. I won't be in a few months, but for now I do. She's a feeder. If somethings wrong, if she's bored, if there's some kind of occasion, she cooks a TON of fattening food, and I don't have the willpower to not eat things put in front of me. If I don't cook, I have no problems not snacking, I usually don't even get hungry. But when I come home from work and there's a huge meal laid out for me, I... I'm ashamed to say that I can't help myself. Afterwards, I feel super guilty for straying from my diet. It's setting me back and I'm regaining every pound I lose.
I've told her I'm on a diet. I've asked her not to cook meals for me, just for herself. I've told her I'm trying to lose weight for college because I don't have any clothes that fit me. Today, she went grocery shopping and asked if I needed anything. I told her, "No. And don't get me ANYTHING. Not juice, not crackers, not sweets." She comes home with tons of microwaveable food for me and donuts and ice cream. She also has told a few relatives about my diet, which I wish she wouldn't because she's snarky about it. "Oh, Savannah's trying to lose weight for college, Ha!"
That crap just hurts my feelings. Like she doesn't think I can.
Does anyone have any advice on how to get her to believe in me? Or to at least get her to stop sabotaging me?
(This is a bit ranty, because I don't have anyone else to complain to lol)
I've had a similar problem, but unfortunately the ONLY solution when you're dealing with someone who refuses to listen is to boost your OWN willpower. When I said I didn't want anything I'd tell them that if they did get me something, I'd throw/give it away (and then I would do exactly that, and they stopped trying) when she cooks dinner for you, push it aside and cook your own, healthy dinner.
I know its probably not what you want to hear, but you've just got to power through and up your willpower to either 1) eat your own healthy meals or 2) eat smaller portions of what you're being offered... though this option may leave you hungry if the food is high calorie.
Good luck! It sucks when people around you aren't supportive, but I know you can do it, and even if you aren't at goal by college, at least then you won't have to deal with grandma's cooking
Oh, boy, I know the feeling. I had to tell my parents to stop buying junk food because I'd eat three times as much as them to a point where they would tell me to stop (and obesity runs in the family, so you'd expect it to be the other way around). But lack of support can be the biggest killer for a weight loss journey.
Well, around here, my parents aren't eating like I am, so this is what usually goes down. I usually ask our cook to make my things separately (whole wheat rice, veggies). My cousin, who's lost quite a lot of weight, also still makes her meals separately. If you have a big enough portion set aside for you, it's usually not so hard to step away from whatever else is available. For example, since I usually make tons of veggies, I can fill up my plate (using the smaller one available) and not have space for spaghetti or whatever else there is.
Maybe don't tell her you're on a diet? Since I avoided using the word around my family, they attitude has actually been very different. There's this ephemeral connotation to the word "diet", and I just told them I wanted to eat well because I felt sluggish throughout the day.
My parents tend to buy a lot of junk food, too. So I set time aside to talk to them about it, and about how desperate I felt battling between wanting to eat well and wanting what they brought when it was an unnecessary worry. It wasn't easy, they kept doing it and buying things for me (not just for them). So I had to be a bit strong and stop them as soon as they got home, groceries in hand, and question why they had done it when I asked them not to. It's a bit weird to address authority that way, but when you express how disappointed you are that they aren't helping you, they do tend to remember more often.
You can also be very clear about how this all reflects her support for you, and that on the contrary, she's bringing you down. I know, it's a weird thing to say so clearly. But I had been binging for like a month straight on all sorts of chocolate and fried foods every single day like 3-4 times before I mustered the courage to say "you're bringing me down". After that, they started trying to adapt a bit more.
You could also ask her to stop mentioning it so often to other people. I know these are all hard things to say, but I think that being very clear about your feelings and what you'd like is the best way to go about it. Of course, every person reacts differently, but I think that the clearer and more objective you are, the easier it'll be to start seeing changes around the house.
This was 90% me talking about my home experience, but I hope it helps in some way! It's really not easy but I do think you can get more support than that for these few months.
Okay, I had a mother just like her. She would cook the most wonderful foods and put a big plate in front of me after I got home from work. Sure, I walked to and from work back then and had a great figure. I wanted to keep it that way!
I loved my mom. Miss her a lot. I found a way to eat and not offend her or hurt her feelings. I finally took a smaller dish out of the cupboard and explained it to her....I needed to eat smaller portions. She understood when I spoke gently to her. She filled my little plate and we ate together. I think the sitting down and eating together also helped. We talked. Like I said, I miss her.
I know that situation all too well.. and it's not a great one to be in when you are trying so hard. You could always turn the sarcasm and things they say around and use it for your own good. Use their words for motivation if they think you can't then prove that you CAN and WILL. Like the others said if food can't be helped take smaller portions or make something you know is healthier. Good luck and you can do this
As you're losing weight, it will make her believe. It's hard not to believe in someone who is showing you results, and I can see from your ticker you've already done a great job in getting healthier. I guess the best advice I can give is to let her be....that with time hopefully she will see you are serious about this.
How do I get her to support me?
Me too!
