It's been about 3 weeks into my weight loss journey and I'm really starting to feel lonely. Currently I live with my boyfriend and his family, and they eat whatever they want, when they want. And for me being the only one on a diet, it get frustrating.My boyfriend says he would support me on this journey but it seems like he hasn't really since he always eats junk in front of me and I get tempted. Can someone give me some advice on dealing with this situation? Or how do you handle being the only one in the household that's on a diet.
Support doesn't mean your boyfriend having to hide in the closet or go to the car just to eat what he wants. It sucks, but its the truth. I live in a house with 4 men - all of which have huge appetites and love junk food. Someone usually orders pizza/Chinese at least 3-4 times a week. If I am not hungry, I will brush my teeth or go for a walk, or call a friend and just chat on the phone - anything to keep myself busy. If I am hungry though and it is meal time for me, I will make something healthy and munch on that. You just need to train your brain to look at THEIR food and say "That's not mine, I can't have it". It takes awhile but it does get easier.
It is hard. I am dealing with the same thing although the BF is getting better about it now since he is willing to eat whatever I make so that helps a little. That is mainly why I am on 3FC to vent/talk/etc so I don't feel alone!
Have you talked with your BF and told him how it makes you feel when you see him eating junk in front of you? Maybe ask him if he would mind doing it somewhere else? Just a thought.
Guess my point is been there, done that. it does get better with time! Join in a few challenges or threads that interest you here so you won't feel as lonely.
Thanks for the tip Candeka! It's been hard for me but I'm going to try like you said and get my mind trained. And when my boyfriend said he was going to support me, at first he was eating the same food as I was and so I started off good but now (and i know I can't force him to eat what I eat) he's gone back to eating unhealthy. But like I said, I won't force him to eat the healthy stuff if he doesn't want it. Do you think I should talk to him about how I feel?
It is hard. I am dealing with the same thing although the BF is getting better about it now since he is willing to eat whatever I make so that helps a little. That is mainly why I am on 3FC to vent/talk/etc so I don't feel alone!
Have you talked with your BF and told him how it makes you feel when you see him eating junk in front of you? Maybe ask him if he would mind doing it somewhere else? Just a thought.
Guess my point is been there, done that. it does get better with time! Join in a few challenges or threads that interest you here so you won't feel as lonely.
Thanks Amandie! I think that's what I'm going to do.
Have you talked with your BF and told him how it makes you feel when you see him eating junk in front of you? Maybe ask him if he would mind doing it somewhere else? Just a thought..
Why should the BF have to eat his food somewhere else? Doesn't it make more sense for the person who is having the problem be the one to leave? I know I would not appreciate being told I couldn't eat my yogurt at my desk just because my husband is vegan and doesn't like seeing it. If he has the issue, he should be the one to leave. (husband really isn't vegan... im just eating yogurt right now so that example came to mind lol!)
Thanks for the tip Candeka! It's been hard for me but I'm going to try like you said and get my mind trained. And when my boyfriend said he was going to support me, at first he was eating the same food as I was and so I started off good but now (and i know I can't force him to eat what I eat) he's gone back to eating unhealthy. But like I said, I won't force him to eat the healthy stuff if he doesn't want it. Do you think I should talk to him about how I feel?
You could tell him you are having issues, but you can not get mad at him for eating what he wants, where he wants. How would you feel if he told YOU that you couldn't eat your healthy food in front of him because it makes him feel bad about his choices? It doesn't make sense does it? Support is standing by your side and saying "congrats, you can do it!". You can't force him to change his ways, just like he couldn't force you to change your life style until YOU were ready. It's all personal and should remain that way, even when in committed relationships.
I brush my teeth whenever I feel tempted, or pop in a piece of gum. I'm a nanny and worst part for me is meal time for the children, I'm so used to it snacking whenever they're eating, and I can't exactly stay away from the food...I just brush my teeth before feeding them and have sugar free gum , and sometimes try to time my snack time so I can eat with them. Honestly you can't make others eat healthy just because you are, there are ways to curb your appetite or get out of the situation. Once you've been on the diet gift some time you're body will train itself to be ok with not eating what they are...at least that's what I keep telling myself...when my family was enjoying cake and ice cream and I'm sitting there with my granola bar. its not easy its so worth it!
The beginning is the hardest!! My husband is 1000% supportive of my diet, it's more me that feels bad that he has to "suffer" because of my reckless behavior and having to diet. It's much easier for me now as there is no way I'm touching the pizza he has as I'd rather have a good number on the scale. Plus I know I can't just have 1 bite of pizza and be done, I'd eat the whole thing (and that's not one bit of a lie). He also only has pizza maybe once a week if that so it's not like I'm in the middle of a pizza crisis very often.
Maybe you can eat healthy snacks on your diet plan while anyone else is eating "their" food in front of you. I also drink a lot of coffee (black) or tea when I'm tempted by other foods in the kitchen or wherever we are.
As soon as you start losing weight, I'm sure it will be easier than it seems now. I got addicted to moving down sizes in my clothes and loved the feeling in my body eating so healthy. If I ate pizza now, I'd be dragging around with carb and fat overload. Not worth it to me!!
Hi you have come to an awesome place for support with your new lifestyle! BIG change to wrap your brain around but will work wonders... Never say... you CANT have, you say... you DONT want! It will change the way you feel all together. When your brain hears cant the first reaction is, i will. But if you say you dont want then it tells your brain you made that decision for yourself. Good luck and find a comfy spot here anytime you need support.
Talk to the BF about what EMOTIONAL or MENTAL support or encouragement you might need.
It does not have to be PHYSICAL support (ie: eat same as you to keep you company.) When people go out to dinner they do not all order the same entree. Social eating is to share TIME, not share the same thing. Or even if they DO share the same thing because it is a meal at home ... it's about sharing the TIME still.
So ask BF for what you really need here. For him to notice that you are doing something for yourself and to encourage you on your path.
I was in the same boat as you. I've been battling with losing weight for a couple years now and I would always blame everybody but myself. "Oh, he was eating pizza so I had to have a piece, he was snacking, so I needed to snack". Before this year, my boyfriend was NOT in the same boat with me. He didn't really care about losing weight, he would go to the gym but not really be "into" it and still ate like crap. I expressed my feelings to him one day and told him that he doesn't need to be on a diet or even the same page as me, but I needed his support and if there was any way he could not eat junk or snack in front of me when he could, I would appreciate it. He didn't get it. You just need to realize that YOU need to have the will power. YOU need to say to yourself "just because he's eating doesn't mean I have to". I know it's tough, I'm in the same boat with me and him only being on a diet and my family and his eating whatever they want. But we make our own food, as well as buy it so we don't have the option to eat crap. It's a learning experience and your so early on into it, you will find what works and doesn't work for you. Don't give up!
You got this! My fiance often brings home donuts or pizza. I finally figured out that total restriction of certain foods doesn't work for me, so instead of feeling deprived I just have a piece of pizza or one donut. Why I am still able to lose doing this is that I record everything I eat, and eat 1500 cals a day. If my honey wants to go out for breakfast, I'll be sure to prep a salad for dinner. If he wants to go out to dinner, I eat an orange for b-fast. Slowly learning to balance my new eating habits with his. Good luck!
Feeling Alone
it does get better with time! Join in a few challenges or threads that interest you here so you won't feel as lonely.
