[samerz816]

Hi Everyone!

So, I'll try to sum this up with a timeline of sorts. I've been overweight my entire life, probably started gaining weight when I was about 6 or 7 years old. I've never broken into the 200s, but I've ALWAYS been fat/chubby/curvy, pick your word - we all know they all mean the same thing

Fast forward to the more recent past, I got up to my highest weight (185 pounds) twice in my life - once back in college and once last year, January 2012. Last New Years I made a promise that I would NEVER get up to that weight again. So, I started [again] at weight loss. I'd lose some, gain a little back, lose some, gain a little back, take a break, recommit, blah blah blah. My most recent re-commitment to weight loss was November 2012 when I joined Weight Watchers Online. My first official weigh-in was 162.2 pounds. I weighed-in on New Years Eve 2013 at 153.1 - 9.1 pounds down from when I started and 32 pounds down from the same time the previous year. I felt good, but wanted more.

But, I lost sight of things with the new year. In January I was only able to lose about 2 pounds, bringing me down to 151. I decided to start doing P90X to get some exercise into my life, but went full force and attempted to do that nutrition plan too. Without going into too much detail, I just wasn't ready (for the nutrition that is, I was killing the work outs, but lost a lot of speed when I weighed in a week later and saw a two pound gain). Needless to say I derailed, and lost track of everything I'd been working towards. I didn't step on my scale at all in February, causing me to weigh-in last week with a 7 pound gain at 158.2 - only 4 pounds down from when I started in November.

So, here I am, 158.2 with a weigh-in tomorrow. How have I done this week? Pretty bad. I don't expect a loss. I don't necessarily expect a GAIN, but I definitely don't expect a loss.

I'm so frustrated! I feel like my entire adult life has been about me trying to lose weight, and failing miserably. At this point I have no self control, and as much as I want this I'm just not making it happen. I need help!

I don't want to be overweight anymore. Yes, I'm lighter than before, but that's not good enough for me. I'm tired of ACTING like it is by cheating and going off my diet and all that jazz. I just want to be thin and happy about the way I look for once in my freaking life!

My goal is 125 pounds. When I started up again in November I wanted to get they by May. That OBVIOUSLY isn't going to happen. So, now I'm hoping I can get there by my birthday - August 16.

I'm so wiped out at this point. I really need some encouragement. I need to hear someone tell me I can do this. It's so hard for me to think that I've wasted sooooooo much time. I'll be 26 this year, my 20s are nearing their end, and I hate the way I look. I hate that I've spent my entire youth in bathing suits that cover every possible inch of me. I'm SO sick of feeling self conscious during events and activities young women are supposed to live. I live in Chicago RIGHT off Lake Michigan, literally the beach is a 2 minute walk from my front door), and I'm terrified I won't be able to enjoy it.

I really need help I need to finish this, but I'm SO burnt out! I don't even know what else to say. *Debbie Downer party of one*

[Mozzy]

Take it one day at a time, you can do this.

[Quiet Ballerina]

*hugs* We all have setbacks. Many of us (myself included) gain back. You can do this though. It doesn't happen overnight.

You can't live in past regrets. Learn from them. Make good choices.

And I understand on feeling like you wasted your 20's. I'm 28. Feel the same way. I was down to almost 130 the last time I was serious about losing weight! Then...bam. Right back on.

What works best for you? Are you someone who needs rewards? Charts? A visual?

Here are some things that work for me:
-food diary. I bought one to keep track of what I eat each day, as well as my weight. I really should bring it with me to work, but sometimes I forget to...so I have to record at the end of the day.
-visual encouragement. I have a clear vase that sits on my bathroom vanity. Every time I work out, I get to put a colored bead/stone in the vase. If I eat on plan for the day, I get to put a stone in. Also, although I weigh myself every day, I only do my "official" weigh in once a week. At that weigh in, I get to put in a bead for every half pound lost.

For now, it's just nice to see the beads increase. I'm thinking about creating a reward system for myself though. x beads = x reward. If I do that, I'll write down the rewards and put that above the vase.

Clearly, I'm an incentive person. While a more healthy me is the ultimate goal, I still like prizes along the way.

And join in on some of the chats if you think it'll help. Visit the goal pages to see pictures. Some very inspiring people on this board. Good luck!

[Missy Krissy]

First of all, congratulations on your progress so far! At least you've made it this far right?

Are you no longer doing Weight Watchers? In general losing weight is 70-80% what you eat and only 20-30% exercise. Exercise is great for overall fitness, but in order to drop pounds you need to create a calorie deficit, and it doesn't matter how much you exercise if your eating is out of control.

May I make a suggestion? Instead of saying "I want to lose x amount of pounds by x date" it might be more productive and encouraging to say "I will remain on plan for a week straight" or "I will exercise at least twice this week" or "I will stay within my points 6 out of 7 days" <<< doesn't have to be any of those exactly, but you get my point.

By setting up goals for something that you have control over (ie, your behavior) it might be easier to accomplish them than goals you don't necessarily have direct control of (ie, losing x amount of pounds in a set time period). That way you don't have to be disappointed if your body decides it wants to lose at a slower pace and you aren't at goal by your "deadline". If you set up behavior based goals and find yourself meeting them each week you'll be killing 2 birds with one stone: keeping yourself encouraged and motivated while changing your behaviors and habits so that you lose the weight.

Good luck, you can do this!

[samerz816]

Thanks everyone. So I weighed in today, and I gained a pound. I'm back at 159.2

I'm really upset at myself right now. I've gained 8.2 pounds in 7 weeks. I'm so upset and angry and ugh. I don't even know.

I'm really questioning whether or not I can actually do this. Maybe it's just not in the cards for me, ya know? I mean - I've done okay. Maybe this is as good as it gets.

Ugh. I NEED to do this, but it's SO hard to pick up the pieces after all this has happened. I want to give up. I really do. But I can't and I know that.

Why is this so hard!?

[UrbanHavok]

samerz816 I feel like I was reading about myself as I read through your post. I started at about 178. Don't give up!! I have a similar goal weight. Try keeping track of how you feel when you eat something.

For example, at the end of the day I write down what I ate, any cravings I had, what kind of day it was (IE- On my more stressful days I am more likely to cave and have chocolate or sweet or something deep fried lol) and then I write how I can fight the craving. That way when a craving hits you can go back to what you wrote down.

In line with what missy krissy said, set goals. And keep them visible. (I have mine in my notebook, on my closet door and at my desk at work). Visiual reminders definitely help.

At the end of the day, it's all about finding things that work for you as an individual. If you have a bad day then make it a point to say to yourself that Tomorrow will be better.

[Rhiko]

Originally Posted by samerz816

Thanks everyone. So I weighed in today, and I gained a pound. I'm back at 159.2

I'm really upset at myself right now. I've gained 8.2 pounds in 7 weeks. I'm so upset and angry and ugh. I don't even know.

I'm really questioning whether or not I can actually do this. Maybe it's just not in the cards for me, ya know? I mean - I've done okay. Maybe this is as good as it gets.

Ugh. I NEED to do this, but it's SO hard to pick up the pieces after all this has happened. I want to give up. I really do. But I can't and I know that.

Why is this so hard!?

What do you look like in the mirror? Does it look like you have lost weight?

I have a song that I listen to whenever I feel that things are getting too difficult. It's an Airborne song called 'No Way But The Hard Way'. It's about a guy who is getting bogged down with life stuff, but he is going to get through it by himself. The words I listen to go something like this:

There ain't no way but the hard way get used to it
The tide will turn yes it will
I'm gonna roll on
I'm gonna stand strong
For the long haul

These words are apt for weight loss and outline the struggle. Weight loss is just as much, if not more, a mental game. It's a very empowering song for me and I switch to it if I feel like I'm going to give up during my running lap or if I don't think I can do exercise that day. Why? Because, I think, weight loss is meant to be hard so that it teaches us that we can't do what we like with our bodies and expect it to undo itself.

In other words, I believe that you will get to your weight loss goal. You might get to your weight on time, or you might not. As long as you keep up your routine you will get there. It doesn't matter if you have a weak moment and binge every so often. I did it this month. I think we all go through that. Forget yesterday and concentrate on today. Forget tomorrow too. Try keeping a diary where you can track your food, exercise and how you are feeling for the day. It's helped me so much to keep on track

Keep going and you'll get there! You've done a fantastic job so far

[JFerny725]

I have a very similar story and I completely understand what you are going through. Before I packed on my pregnancy weight I decided to get my weight loss organized. I went out and bought a pack of graphing paper and a photo album and went to work. Before I had tried every diet out there and even started weight watchers, fell off track, and relapsed and started again. This time I decided that instead of dieting I was going to change how I was living. Instead of making working out a chore I found fun ways to get in exercise and I didn't even allow myself to buy junk food.

With the graphing paper I made a line graph putting weight units on one side and the weeks at the bottom. Every week I would weigh myself and mark a dot on the graph then I posted it on my fridge. This helped because I'm a very visual person and just seeing numbers didn't do much for me but being able to look at a downward slopping line that represented my progress kept me going. I also used the photo album and took a picture of myself every two weeks so I could go back and compare before and afters. I even took a picture from my heaviest point and put it in the front of the album and used a picture of what I wanted to look like as a template.

Pushing yourself to stay committed to these fad diets and weight loss programs are okay for a quick jump start but if you want to prolong and maintain all your hard work you have to find ways to make it fun and make it easier for you to stay committed without getting burnt out.

You can do anything as long as you set your mind to it. You definitly have the desire now all you need to do is find that drive to keep you going. You're not alone in your stuggle and you can reach your goal in no time at all. Put it into this perspective; when you are busy doing fun things during the day time flies by but if you sit around watching the clock it seems to drag on. It's the same with weight loss. Having a time frame isn't bad but it's like watching the clock. Try to fill your days with fun enjoyable active tasks and focus on the dietary portion instead of your ticking time frame. You'll be surprised at how much weight you lose.

I wish you the best of luck!

[gracie1887]

I'm with you samerz816. I started a lot heavier than you did, but I have trouble staying motivated. I finally decided that I needed another way to motivate myself and set up a reward system. I made the back of my bedroom door a motivation board and put up pictures and sayings that help me. I put up papers with my starting weight and each number until my goal weight and each pound I put a big red X over that weight. I decided my final motivation for now would be that for every pound I lost I would give myself $10.00 and every time I go to the gym I will give myself $1.00. With just my weight loss I could have $870.00 when I am finally done, which the money alone makes me want to get to my goal. Try what works for you for the motivation. Do you have anyone in your life that can help you stay motivated? Boyfriend, husband, friend, sibling, parent?? That could make a big difference too!

You have the drive to lose the weight, just find what motivates you the best!

[searchingforbalance]

samerz816 you haven't wasted your time! Instead, you've gained strength from your setbacks along the way. You can do this!! Don't let your past setbacks make you doubt your future success. The suggestions other posters have made are very helpful and everyone on here is here to support you. Just set your mind to it and you can achieve any goal you set for yourself!! Good luck!