I'm sorry, It seems like you have been through a lot.
It can be hard to stay motivated sometimes. I've fallen off the wagon a couple of times because Of some emotional things happening to me. I would get upset and use the food I loved to make me feel better even if I wasn't hungry.
I have often said to myself that I should give up and just deal with being un happy and fat. But There came a time when I looked in the mirror and started to cry. I wasted a lot of my life being un happy. And I got mad.
I got fed up and decided that I didn't want to be fat anymore. But even then I knew I'd have trouble staying motivated and I would be tempted to revert to my old ways when things got hard. I've made a small list of things that help me stay motivated. Maybe they'll help you.
-Fat 2 Fit radio: Fat to fit radio is my absolute favorite podcast. It's these two average joes who have a radio show talking about healthy weight loss. No fancy products or ads for crazy lose 50 pounds in a week detox diets. They give very good advice and they keep it real. They go over all sorts of things like what BMI means, tips for picking a gym, eating healthy, exercise, and they even have a healthy recipe at the end of each show. All the shows are over 20 minutes, so they are good to listen to when working out.
You have to pay for the first 25 shows, but 26-146+ are all free. They are on itunes and have their own web site.
-Tumblr: Tumblr has a lot of nice fitspo blogs. I go there a lot and I find it helps. Be careful when you search though. make sure you type in "fitspo" and not "thinspo" Thinspo is proanna type stuff. Fitspo is for healthy weight loss.
-Letters to Myself: Today I decided to write letters to my self. I wrote one letter for every 25 pounds I lose. I printed them out, sealed them, and wrote "25, 50, 75, 100, goal" on the out side. And every time I make it to one of those numbers , I'll open and read it. I cried when I wrote them...I was telling my self how strong and proud I was. It really helped me do some soul searching. Here's a part of my first "you lost 25 pounds" letter.
"I don’t want to be the me I am right now, I want to be the you who is reading this.
25 seems like a small number but it’s not! You are only 25 pounds away from losing 50 ****ing pounds! That’s crazy! Just think the next time you get to read a letter you’ll BE UNDER 220 POUNDS FOR THE FIRST TIME IN YOUR ****ING LIFE!!!
-With love, You.
p.s. Thank you for getting this far, It might not mean much to you but it means everything to me, you are changing my life, please stay strong!
"
Maybe if you write letters to yourself You can stay motivated. Put them in a place that's always within sight and think to your self "I don't want to let me down!"
I read once that the definition of h.e.l.l. is seeing
what you became and what you
could have become.
I want to become someone I love.
Sorry this is so long! If you ever need someone to talk to feel free to PM me!