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-   -   August chat thread. (https://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/20-somethings/263999-august-chat-thread.html)

preetyladyserenity 08-03-2012 03:19 AM

August chat thread.
Happy August people. Let's do our best ok? :D

In life issues my life currently sucks. My crush told me last night that if he doesn't find a job by October he is leaving the country forever. I was already depressed because I can't find a job either so this kind of destroyed me last night. :(

Also I got into a fight with my best friend last night. We were at a cafe and we were having a conversation about boys and relationships last night and she just turned around and told me "unless you lose the rest of your weight and do a tummy-tuck you will never find a guy". Now seriously!!!! How could she say that? We have been friends for 15 years and recently she has started to become very aggressive with me. I just turned around and told her "But I had boyfriends on my highest weight!" and she turned and said "Well before you were a tight fat person, now you're a wobbly fat person.?"

Needless to say I got super angry and told her that if she has self-image issues she should not project them on me (She is one of those skinny girls that always comments that she is fat). She called me a b*tch and I reminded her that I only get b*tchy when provoked. So to get things short we had a huge fight and I left the cafe.

Anyway the beginning of our thread got to be a venting post. I am sorry.

Where weight loss is regarded I lost a kilo this week breaking the plateau :carrot:and started doing some nice difficult yoga moves.

Hotaruchan 08-03-2012 09:06 AM

Aww...sorry to hear that your month is off to such a rough start :hug:

Guy issues always suck, and I'm sorry that your friend was so disrespectful to you...that's waaay out of line. You've made amazing progress and she has no business undermining all the hard work you've put in by telling you that you need surgery to be attractive. Bull. From your avatars, you're flat-out gorgeous. Don't let her get to you. Congrats on losing your kilo! It's great that you at least have some good news to help balance out the nasty parts.

My month's off to an iffy start too (though I've also had awesome luck with the scale so far, surprisingly enough)...today was the last day at school before summer break, and it was 38 Celsius in the staff room with the fans on...then the electricity went out. I ran out of even the most mind-numbing busy work before lunch time and sat there doodling and staring at the clock for 3 hours after. Then I went to go home and realized that both of my bike tires had popped. I went to the store where I bought the bike and got 2 new tires and tubes. Last time I needed a new tire, they were very nice and installed it free of charge. This time they told me that they'd need to send it to the factory...where they'd charge more than double the price of the tires for standard issue ones (I'd splurged and gotten the pop-resistant ones since this is the second time I'd had an issue in 4 months) and I wouldn't get it back for more than 10 days. As my bike is my only reasonable mode of transportation that just wasn't going to cut it. So I brought the tires home and spent 3 1/2 hours installing the back one and lining the gears and chain up properly. Thankfully one of my neighbors (who I've never even talked to) spotted me struggling and offered an extra pair of hands. I'm going to have to make him dinner or something as thanks. That was really sweet of him. It was completely dark by the time I finished, so I'll have to skip my bike ride tonight and replace the front tire in the morning. Oh well. At least it's vacation time now...

katiekish 08-03-2012 09:27 AM

serenity - sorry to hear about all that rough stuff! Best friends can either be so awesome or such *******s! I get frustrated at my best friend because I'll say things like "I lost 20 lbs" and he'll say "really? I didn't notice" ... which is pretty defeating. But your friend was super disrespectful. Once the heat calms down from the fight you should tell her it hurt you so much, and why... but calmly.

hotaruchan - bummer about your bike! I hate it when that stuff happens... are you teaching english in japan?

My month has been rough so far too! haha My fiance is in China visiting family and I'm in Canada. We try and talk everyday but it's gotten progressively more difficult. Last week he very ... gently... started talking to me about my weight. It turned really emotional because I'm so insecure. It ended up, over the course of 3 or 4 days up till this morning, really spiraling out of control. We almost broke up, not just over the weight thing but because he feels disconnected (but we decided it was from being apart for 3 months) and a bunch of other stuff. So I've basically been up every night fighting with my fiance, trying to save my relationship ... and waking up every morning afraid that he's met someone new in China or something ridiculous. It's all been super stressful. However, I think we got to a better place. I guess it's good that he brought up my weight because now I have some more motivation to lose it... it's just really hard when that one person you thought loved every inch of yu no matter what... doesn't! He said he doesnt care if I never lose it, he just thinks it would be healthier and that I'd be more attractive... sigh.

Hotaruchan 08-03-2012 09:45 AM

Aww man...August is sucking so far. Sorry to hear about the problems with your fiance, Katiekish, but it's good that you're turning it into something positive and using it as motivation. I know how bad the long distance thing is...I'm in Japan (yes, teaching English) and my boyfriend is back home in the US. We've been apart for 5 months and it's really rough. On the other hand, him not seeing me will make it a bigger surprise when I'm actually normal-ish sized next time he sees me. My boyfriend is silly and insisted that I was "tiny" from the start, but in the past he's dated much bigger girls. He's admitted that he prefers a few extra pounds, but also realizes how uncomfortable I am in my own skin, so luckily for me he's been very supportive.

Know what's awkward? Taking a step and having an earthquake at the same time. I THOUGHT THIS WOULD STOP HAPPENING WHEN I LOST WEIGHT TT^TT I kid...I suppose the one good thing about this awful section of Japan is that the earthquakes are, while still pretty numerous, very mild. I think the worst we've had since I've been here was a 4, which was only enough to knock a few things off of my shelves and wake me up at 3 am.

Riestrella 08-03-2012 10:00 AM

Hey people!

Thankfully the last 3 weeks I've maintained my weight despite eating terribly and not doing any exercise. I have been active socialising, preparing to move to Japan (I've done a lot of walking around!) and generally chilling out before the madness of moving to another country/finding a job kicks in.

I've pretty much done all my packing, I've just got to pack the things that I'll be using in the next 4 days but I've put a lot of my things into storage, put aside all my winter clothes to be sent another time. I JUST WANNA MOVE NOW! I feel like I'm just sitting around waiting now. Which I am technically.

I can't wait to see my boyfriend, it's going to be lovely having him waiting on the other side to meet me. We finally get to live in the same country again!

Katbot24 08-03-2012 10:55 AM

Hi ladies!

So my August started out with a bang with all my moving (if you haven't read about my moving escapades that happened between the 30th and 31st, they are here: http://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/4424403-post128.html )

Now we're just trying to get things set up in the apartment while still juggling work and (very scant) finances. The major problem in this apartment is the lack of storage - we've filled the bedroom closet and a chest of drawers and there was still clothes overflow into an overhead storage I wanted to use for linens, so we need to buy an armoire for our coats and winter stuff. The kitchen has lots of cupboards but they need shelving in them - right now it like one giant rectangular area inside the cupboard and that's not cutting it for dry good storage, it ends up in a heap.

The scale still hates me, but my pants fit looser so I'm guessing torn muscles swelling to recover are to blame. It's depressing though because I feel like I'm not progressing!

valalltogether 08-03-2012 12:21 PM

serenity i think you definitely handled your friend in the absolute best way. very mature of you. nobody who is a friend of yours should talk to you like that.

seems like everyone else is so busy this month! luckily, i don't have much going on so i can try and focus on getting/staying on track. i still fall victim to bad food that my boyfriend brings in though :(

Ladybug10 08-03-2012 12:50 PM

Hi everyone! I'm new to the monthly thread so I hope nobody minds if I join in. :)

serenity: I'm sorry to hear about your friend. It's rough when fights break out with people we care about. I hope everything works out between you too.

Riestrella: Japan sounds so exciting! What part are you moving to? (Sorry if you've already answered this question)

Katbot: Congrats on the new apartment!

As for me. August has been pretty boring so far and I'm liking it that way. School starts up again at the end of August and I'm definitely not looking forward to it.

DailyStruggle 08-03-2012 04:52 PM

I think i am developing an allergy to one of my favorite foods.. eggplant..:(
Last time i ate a bunch my mouth was in pain because my teeth hurt from my gums swelling, and I wasn't sure if it was from the eggplant. Today when i had some i felt the roots of my teeth begin to hurt and my cheeks were slightly swollen... :(

katiekish 08-03-2012 05:13 PM

Hotaruchan- Oh man... I don't think I could handle 5 months apart. But you'll likely be apart for a year, right? Are you doing the JET program? I had a 2 day stop over in Tokyo this summer and would LOVE to go back.

Its great that your boyfriend is so supportive. It's always nice when the ex's were bigger, too. My fiances only ex girlfriend is a freaking twig... and one of those girls that shows off her body WAY too much... so she was always all over facebook with her boobs and stomach hanging out everywhere. grr.

Now that I've had a few days I'm glad my fiance piped up about it. I mean, he doesn't hate my body and he thinks I'm gorgeous..etc... but he says he'd be more attracted to my bod if I lost some weight. What better motivation? BUT his belly is growing too so it also gave me the chance to say "hey babe... maybe look in the mirror". :) So we've agreed to become one of those couples that works out together and looks wonderful doing it.

Riestrella - Why are you moving to Japan??

Katbot - congrats on the new apartment. moving can be soooo stressful!

1yr2mkovr 08-03-2012 05:43 PM

Hello everyone! This is my first time joining the conversation...

Fisr of all I'd like to comment on the first post;
serenity: I read your post with my mouth on the ground!!! That is absolutely crazy! There are some poeple who can only be friends with you if they feel you are at a disadvantage. Her "aggressive" attitude is probably in direct correlation to your success. Good for you for leaving! Don't look back!

katiekish: My husband and I spent a year living in a long distance situation when we were dating and let me tell you, it sucks! What people say and how they say it takes on a whole different meaning. It's a lot of effort but it's doable (obviously). You just both must be resolved to the fact that there will be no failing! We went through some very rough times, but in the end we are so much stronger for it!

Riestrella: I just moved accross the country at the end of June and I totally get that feeling where you're just waiting for it... The best part about moving to a drastically different location is that it always feels like a fresh start! SO it must be soo exciting for you!!!

My August, surprisingly, has also been challenging so far. I think I'm coming off the high that was July, which for me personally was a super successful month. I lost 18lbs, and I was very productive -- but come August it just felt like I wouldn't be able repeat that kind of success again. So without actually having "messed up", I got all depressed. (It's nuts, I know!) Anyway, I tried to take my own advice and "behave my way to success", so I excercised despite not wanting to, and maintained true to my diet, and today I feel better. The scale didn't move, but I guess that could also be a good thing because it didn't go up (which is usually what happens when I get depressed -- because when I get depressed I usually binge, which I didn't do in the last few days).

beahawkins 08-03-2012 05:46 PM

katiekitsh: when my bestfriend and her now husband were dating he flat out told her that he thinks she isn't attractive. " But that's ok, cause I love you" So, I think your fiance did a much better job than her's..

Can I do a little rant about my guy problems?
So I was dating this guy for like 5 months, which is sadly my longest relationship. But I am still in school and will be for another almost 2 years. He is in a high stress job and is now traveling. He is gone for 4 days a week and then works the next day in the home state office. And then needs time for himself and time with his friends. (which I totally understand, I like my time too) Before we had met I told myself that I didn't want anything serious until I graduated. (I have had a terrible time with school and didn't want the distraction.) Well anyways we met and I couldn't help not wanting to try. But our schedules clashed so much that we decided to take a brake. However, this is the first relationship that I have had "bedroom time" (tmi?) (my other bfs would tell me that it's a sin and after making out they would tell me how bad and horrible it was, they tore my self-esteem apart) And no one wants to give that up. and we ended on good terms. So after 2 weeks of trying to ignore eachother we gave in. We aren't dating like we were, it's not a serious thing. But I miss the bfgf aspect of it.. And I know I shouldn't feel like he doesn't like me, because he does. He is just so drained. He has said several times that he has to remind himself to breathe because everything is just going so fast. We were watching tv the other night and he fell asleep like 5 minutes in. and then keep jerking awake. I know this is my choice to be in this type of relationship. But there is a light at the end of the tunnel for both of us. (his boss said his schedule should lighten up around the time I should graduate)

He and I are working out together, separately too!

Hotaruchan 08-03-2012 06:25 PM

Rie: Great job maintaining! I'm sure it'll be time for you to leave before you know it. It must be awesome knowing that, even if you haven't found a job yet, you have someone waiting to meet you...I still have no friends >.< On the plus side, I contacted a JET coordinator (I'm with a private company, katiekish) and he apologized for the other JETs being rude about events and assured me that I was perfectly welcome. They're having a beer garden get together at the end of the month to welcome new JETs and I'm definitely going to try to meet people.

Katbot: It's always rough for the first few weeks in a new place getting used to things...do you have a Goodwill nearby? I've had decent luck finding furnishings there, and if money is tight you might be able to find something cheap since everything's used.

Daily: I think I might have a mild allergy to eggplant and walnuts...If I just have a little bit, I don't seem to have a problem. But about half the time if eggplant parm's for dinner, I get canker sores and swollen gums. Try some Anbesol.

Katiekish: Glad to hear that things are working out with you and your fiance :)

1yr: Don't give up! 18 lbs is AMAZING. Even if you don't hit that high of a number again this month, it's not a failure at all. Just try to keep on track. Keep your chin up...if you don't match your number from last month, it's not failing, it's still progress.

Beahawkins: Just keep focusing on the light. If you're still both busy, staying on hiatus might not be a bad plan. You can re-evaluate when you have more free time and less stress so that you can really focus on enjoying each other's company.

Riestrella 08-03-2012 06:55 PM

LadyBug - I'm moving to a city called Tachikawa in the Tokyo prefecture. I'm living with my boyfriend to begin with then moving to my own place when I find a job.

katie - I'm moving to Japan for multiple reasons. I think one of the biggest is that my boyfriend lives there. But the main personal reason is because I just don't see my future in England. There's not much opportunity here and I want an adventure, I want to live and experience a new culture and challenge myself.

1yr - Yeah, I'm really excited to get going with that fresh start! Wow 18 lbs in one month is AMAZING! Well done! Don't beat yourself up over the future, just live for each day and do the best you can. You don't have to keep winning and setting new records each month, even 1 lb off is 1 lb gone forever. Well done for working out, I need some of that inspiration!

Hotaru - Hmm, why do you think you don't have friends? Are there no ALTs in your area?

Hotaruchan 08-03-2012 07:18 PM

Not really...I'm out in the middle of nowhere. There's supposedly 3 or 4 others in JET/from other companies at the middle and high schools, but I haven't spotted them anywhere and in any case don't have any way to contact them since I don't even know their names. Gunma is an awful place to live, particularly since I don't have a car.

Edit: I did make ONE friend, but he started making unwelcome advances so I've been ignoring him. Occasionally one of my JTEs invites me to hang out with her family, but I don't want to impose (also, she and her husband are in their 50s and their son is 16, so it would be nice to find people closer to my age).

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