Are your parents thinner than you?
 

I thought I'd post this on the 20-something forum, even though I'm only 19...

My mom and I are the same height, but she weighs a few pounds less than me. It's not a noticeable difference, so we look like we're about the same size. It really bugs me, though, because I was always much thinner than her. It's especially annoying because she's also trying to lose weight and even though I generally eat less and exercise more than her she is losing about as fast as I am. And I hate knowing that even though she's thinner than me she thinks she's too heavy. It kind of confirms my feeling that I'm too heavy, even though I'm not overweight and have never been. At least I have the comfort of knowing that she's gone on plenty of diets and they've never lasted longer than 3 months.

Ok, sorry for venting. I just wanted to see if anyone else knows what I'm talking about.

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Yep. My mom especially. We are about the same height, 5'8, and while I'm 191, she is 128. She is a vegan though, and works out pretty regularly. She jokes that she's fat! And my sister, also my height, is around 135.

Both my parents are obese. My dad refuses to eat anything but meat and cheese, he hates veg, fruit, and fish. He likes bread but thinks eating bread causes him to gain weight, so meat and cheese it is. He's had kidney stones but claims they've got nothing to do with his diet.

My mom is morbidly obese. She can't walk down the block without getting winded. She loves to bake and cook and, since my dad forbids any food he doesn't like in the house, she sits at home and eats meat, cheese and baked goods. My dad won't let her go anywhere without him so she can't even leave the house, he calls like, every hour, to make sure she's there. He used to do this with me too when I lived at home or if I went out I had to call every hour and update him on where I was and I had strict curfews AT TWENTY THREE. It leads to comfort eating in both me and my mom...

My parents are both overweight - I think my dad was actually "obese" for a number of years, those it's that kind of obese that can kick your butt at workouts. They've been having great success, as I have, with low-carb dieting, especially my dad. After a year of seeing me lose weight and talking his ear off about it he finally committed to the lifestyle and is now spouting off about it to everyone he comes across!

I'm sure it's incredibly frustrating to see her losing just as fast as you since you're working harder, especially since generally younger people do lose faster... but bodies are weird, and you can't always trust them to do exactly what they "should" do. And the fact that she's half of your gene pool makes it hard not to compare. But I still don't understand why it has to be so competitive between the two of you, why you're "comforted" by the idea of her quitting her diet. I'm assuming, since you seem to know how much she's exercising and eating, that you're living at home -- that's great for both of you, in a way. There are so many posts on this forum about unsupportive spouses and family members, as well as those who are technically supportive but clueless... you both have one less person to worry about that with. And one MORE person you can talk to about your struggles. Wouldn't you both be happier if you could celebrate your victories together instead of silently stewing over who is "winning"?

I was heavier than my mom in my teenage years, and yes, there was a lot of internal woe-is-meing over the fact that I should be the young and hot one. But my mom struggles with her weight too -- she sort of bounces between a size 10 and a size 4, and I think we're about the same weight right now, although it's hard to tell, because we don't really talk about nitty gritty numbers and we carry our weight so differently (she's a prototypical apple, I'm a prototypical pear). I mean, I'm not a saint, there is a secret part of me that would love to be thinner than her but... if my mom wants to lose weight, she deserves to lose weight. She still totally looks young and gorgeous at 47, but I know she's self-conscious about her tummy after four kids, and if she wants to work on that, I'm happy for her. Even if it ends up being easier for her than it is for me.

I hope this doesn't sound like I'm lecturing you or anything because I know you're just venting... it's so easy to let the little things get to you when you're trying to lose weight and if I were watching someone else eat more and work out less than me while still staying thinner than me, I'd probably be crawling up the walls too. But still, I think you should try and be happy for her. Hopefully when you eventually start kicking her *** with your harder workouts and better adherence to your plan, she'll be happy for you too.

I'm heavier now than what my mom was at my age. My mom was a wonderful role model ... when she was first diagnosed with type 2 diabetes she started to walk an hour a day and changed her diet. She continued to take good care of herself.

Unfortunately last Nov she passed away from bladder cancer .... which put me into a depression/grief. Thus I gained back all the weight I had lost and then some more.

So my plan now is to get to a healthy weight and not get diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes.

Take care,
Luba

My mother is and has always been thin. She works at a health food store and we never had things like soda or ice cream in the house. Eating out was a very rare treat (restaurant or fast food) when I lived at home, but somehow I never learned how to cook??

My mom and I could share clothes when I was about 12, and by the time I was 15 or so I was larger than her. Shes maybe a size 4/6.

My sister and I are both overweight. Sister is obese and I was about 200lbs/size 18 at my highest. I know it bugs my mom that we are bigger than her, she told me once that french fries are going to kill me. Not that I have a particular affinity for them, she just meant that I'm fat and it'll do me in.

Bottom line, yea, it bugs to have a teeny tiny mom. I don't like standing next to her and feeling like Godzilla (I'm only 3 inches taller, but 50lbs heavier).

my mom is currently fatter than me, but, since i inherited the yo-yo dieting from her, there have been times when she was thinner. what really irritates me though (and makes me relate to your situation) is that whenever she does decide to diet, the pounds just fly off of her, and she's not even really working that hard. mostly just diet and very little exercise. she can lose 20 lbs in a month while i'm busting my butt to lose like 5. it's sooo frustrating.

i can't believe i inherited her fatty genes, but not her ability to shrink down fast... oh well... parents, eh?

My mum is about an inch smaller than me so 5'0 and I'm smaller than her. She is around 200lbs. She is on a diet herself and is losing weight so I'm happy for her. My dad is around 5'10 or so and he would have a bigger build. So, I'm smaller than him too. I'm the smallest in my family because my two brothers are bigger than be also.

Yes. But I'm obese and deal in PCOS/IR/syndrome x /hypothyroid and they don't have any of that kind of endocrine problem.

When I was a late teen before my symtpoms went whacko? I was less than my dad but more than my mom. But I'm also like 6 inches taller than my mom. :D

A.

Ditto on the PCOS/ridiculous hypothyroid/IR, but I'm still smaller than my parents. While they don't have the PCOS or IR, both are borderline diabetic (okay, so they haven't been DIAGNOSED with IR) and very obese, and I got my lovely thyroid issues from my mother with interest. I've come to terms with the fact that I've inherited pretty much the very worst in what each of my parents' genes had to offer (PCOS is from my dad's side, as are my liver issues...diabetes and hypertension run on both sides, but so far I'm well out of range for both) and have decided to work doubly hard to try to avoid the fistfuls of pills they have to take every morning.

Your mom may look at her weight and image differently as she ages...136 is not fat by any means, but perhaps she's been noticing more wrinkles or grey hairs and want to take control of the aspects of her appearance easiest for her to change. I'm sure that her decision to diet isn't an attempt to subtly hint that she thinks you're fat. As for the rate of weight loss...unfortunately, (and I know how much it sucks) that's just how things are...people lose differently. A lot of my friends can think about exercising and lose weight, whereas I'm scraping off a pound or two a week with hours and hours of exercise and minimal calories.

My mom has ALWAYS been thin. She eats like a rabbit and exercises all the time. All she does is ***** about how out of shape she is, how fat her *** and thighs are, etc. My father is very overweight. My older brother and I have always struggled a lot with our weight while my younger three brothers are naturally stick thin. I am the only girl. My mom is 5'4" 110lbs. Size 2. Even though she has pushed out five kids. I am 5'8 and have been bouncing around the 190s for two years now (230 at my heaviest). She will say things like "You are beautiful, you could even be a model if you just lost weight." and stuff like that. It devastates me. In ELEMENTARY SCHOOL my mom would borrow my shirts instead of buying maternity tops. Nothing more humbling and humiliating to a 9yr old than your mother wearing YOUR shirt on her way to the hospital to give birth.

I think it comes down, for most of us if not all of us, this ingrained desire to have approval and acceptance from our parents. My mom's parents are all morbidly obese. She went the opposite extreme to make sure she never ended up like them. She has this misconception that life is easier if you're thin because the world is all about appearances. I am more of a "I dont care, I am not marching, but DANCING to the beat of my own damn drum!"

If I were my mom's size... my relationship with her would probably be a lot better.

My parents are both normal sized, although probably on the heavier end of "normal" since they've gotten older. Both were very thin when they were younger.

My mother would always make comments about my weight, even when I was thin, and especially now. One of my worst memories as a teenager was accidentally picking up the phone when my parents were on, and listening them refer to me as "fat @ss."

Blondebombshell, sounds like our mothers have a lot in common. My dad, on the other hand, is pretty normal. He'll eat generally the same thing my mom does, but with bigger, normal sized portions, and he also has a hidden cookie stash she doesn't know about :lol: