I guess the relationship is finally over now- mini rant
Well, I did it. Blocked his number and deleted him from facebook. I've been living with the same man for 6 years now, and we tried to be friends in the few months after the break-up, but it's just been making me miserable. And I, being stupid as I am, gave him $500 last week so he could pay for school (because his financial aid got messed up by an audit from his school). To do that and still have him treat me like crap was the final straw- I can't believe I just gave two weeks pay to someone who treats me like this. Not sure what's wrong with me, but at least it was enough to push me to block him out. I guess I could have paid more (emotionally) if it hadn't happened.
It's been a long time for me since dealing with the end of a relationship, especially one so long lasting. I would appreciate anyone's words of experience about how you coped with the loss and the emotions that come with it.
First, and I know it won't feel this way now, but this is a great step you've taken. Without knowing anything about your relationship but what you've stated here, it sounds as though you had been unhappy for a long while and finally did what needed to be done. I have gone though something similar in recent months and, while any separation is painful (even when you're severing ties with someone who is not good for you), sometimes it is the best course of action. Remember your strength and your courage. There is a whole world full of people out there wanting to love and be loved, and he will not be the last.
In the meantime, immerse yourself in things that make you happy and that you enjoy. Or take this time to go somewhere or do something you couldn't while you were involved in that relationship. Is there any place you wanted to go? Was there anything you ever wanted to try? Now's the time. Embrace this new found freedom and become reacquainted with all those things that bring joy to your life. Focus on yourself.
I dealt with the end of my relationship by talking about it to friends and family, and by letting myself feel everything from love to hatred to guilt and regret and then finally coming to terms. I decided to acknowledge what I knew to be true (we had been in a bad place for a long time) and to make some changes and start working toward being in a better place.
I totally agree with Bones. I think it's crucial to be around people who make you truly happy and do the things that make you truly smile. You've made an amazing step towards true fulfilment and moving on from what isn't right for you.
I've dealt with too many broken hearts/relationships with food as it feels like a quick fix. Don't do it! I'd say just keep yourself occupied, not too occupied. But occupied enough not to lament over the situation for hours on end, and not too little that you simply repress the pain. I think you need to be open about your feelings without letting them take over your life. it's absolutely fine to feel miserable, a bit empty, snappy at times or just want to mope around in your pjs. To be honest, it's hard to adjust to not having someone around who's been there for the long term. But believe me it can be done.
Whether you pick up a new hobby or just catch up with friends and family a little more, you'll be feeling back to "normal" if not better, pretty soon. I know it's never easy, but I'm telling you the mind is powerful, and your mindset can really help you move on. You're a strong minded, beautiful woman - remember that and don't put your life on pause for something that couldve been!
I agree with the other ladies. Good job! This is a great way to start moving on for real - to just get rid of him from your life. I know it's super tempting to be friends with someone you've been with for so long, but it often just prolongs the pain and brings up more sore feelings. So congrats!
I always use the experience as motivation to feel better about myself - and going for a run/swim/whatever always makes me feel sexier. Embrace the fact that this negative force is gone from your life so now you can start to be something a lot more positive. Surround yourself with things and people that make you feel good.
And get a break up buddy! This is always my #1 bit of advice... officially ask one of your friends to be the person you can call at 3 am because you're about to scarf down a plate of cake in a fit of emotions.
I guess the relationship is finally over now- mini rant
