I am a huge yo-yo dieter and always have been. I've had eating disorders and lost and gained back more weight than I can count. Because of a year of traumatic events in my life, I gained an extra 30 lbs ontop of my already-highest weight, finally resting at 262 lbs. my blood pressure, cholesterol and triglycerides are high, my asthma is at its worst, and I've had to move up into size 20-22. I was so unhealthy and unhappy six weeks ago when I started dieting AGAIN. But this time I knew there was no magic pill, no quick fix, no possibility of starving myself skinny and, more importantly, healthy. I decided to finally take the advice I've received on here through so many years of extreme dieting and slow down, step back, and get in touch with my body.
So I started out just trying to stay under 2000 cals/day and not binge. I didn't exercise or anything and lost about 5-7 lbs over about two weeks. Then my dr put me on a diuretic for my blood pressure, sure to mention that it would speed up my loss. I'd had a bad week before and eaten crap food so I was retaining a lot of water and the pill helped me drop it, 7 lbs overnight in fact. I continued to lose eating ~ 1700 cals a day until my dr suggested I eat low-carb and up my exercise, and I lowered my cals to ~1500-1600. I ate less than 50 carbs a day, and often less than thirty, and was losing at a slightly faster rate but mostly I felt amazing.
I've lost 15 lbs in 6 weeks, which isn't turtle pace, but when I was younger I would brag about losing 15 lbs in a week, achieved by starving myself, and the loss was more noticeable because I was ~190 lbs. I am proud of what I have accomplished so far, and despite wanting to lose faster, I know it's unhealthy to do so and am happy at my rate of loss.
BUT.
My doctor seems disappointed every time she weighs me that I haven't lost more. She continues to suggest things that will "up the ante" and I implement her advice, just not in an extreme way. Also, we're on vacation at my grandmothers house right now. At first I didn't even want to mention my diet but being low carb is high maintenance and between asking about her food supply and Cooking all the time, she caught on really quick. Ive just always crash dieted and told her about amazing losses and I wanted my loss to speak for itself. But now that she knows, she watches everything I eat and when I've eaten a small slice of cake or something she's very quick to tell me not to backslide. Over and over. In addition to that, no one has even lied and said they notice weight loss on me. Which I didn't expect because I don't see it either, and I tried to destroy that little spark of hope that my family might notice before we even got here, but I'm disappointed and angry. I feel like no matter how proud of myself and content with my rate of loss I am, everyone else thinks I'm just slacking off or expects me to fail.
Does anyone else deal with these issues, people around you prescribing to the diet "gospel" we're fed by the diet industry and pushing their ignorance off on you and your efforts? Or just frustrating family members? I'm just sad, and because I'm sad, it's a struggle every day to stick to my eating plan here.
Last edited by munchievictim; 05-16-2012 at 11:14 AM.
Yes, yes and yes!! I know I'm doing things the right way and I know that my losses are slower now and I'm okay with that. However, there is a huge part of me that still believes I should be able to lose ten pounds a month. That little voice is making me feel like I'm not working hard enough.
Thing is we both know we are doing whats best for our bodies. We just have to find a way to shut out the rest of the noise. Whether it be other people or ourselves. We can do it!!
Last edited by abbysue715; 05-16-2012 at 12:09 PM.
Does everyone expect you to snap your fingers and drop the weight? I can't believe that everyone isn't just happy that you're losing weight!
It's amazing to me that the expectation is that normal weight loss means pounds upon pounds lost a week. I'm glad to hear that you seem to be ok with a healthier pace, but it certainly seems tough when even your DOCTOR is getting on your case.
If you can, get a new doctor. It's utterly ridiculous that your doctor is pushing you to lose FASTER.
You are not alone. I can't tell you how many times my mom or husband has given me their advice about what I should eat or how to exercise. I know that slow weight loss is the best weight loss because it is sustainable. Whenever I get motivated and eat well and exercises consistently for several weeks I get so discouraged when my clothes fit the same or the scale budges ever so little. I've been fat my entire life and I want that weight off of me yesterday! But what does it matter if you lose 40 lbs in two months only to gain it back. I am a chronic yo-yo dieter and nothing is more frustrating than losing a significant amount of weight and gaining some self confidence and then gaining all that fat (and then some) back. If you are truly happy with the rate at which you are losing weight then GREAT! This journey is about you and no one else. I also think you should switch doctors, one that is more supportive and less negative.
Good luck!!
Abbysue- I have to remind myself every day not to get ahead of myself or frustrated with the fits and starts of my weight loss. I remember the results of being a teenager with an eating disorder, and rather stupidly expect the same for myself now. But I know what is best for me.
Sontaikle- I agree, and Im disappointed that my dr and I have this.. Difference of opinion, I guess. my grandmother would be devastated to know that her words affect me like they do, because she's just trying to help. But it's like, they can't see immediate results and so I must not be trying hard enough, and when I let that effect me I go crazy and lapse back into my destructive cycle of binging and then starving and then eventually giving up and going back full hog to my previous lifestyle. I love my dr (she's really a nurse practitioner) because she's sweet and seems to care about me, and I think she is used to the other college girls extreme dieting, but I've been there! She's also dieting and I think she may fall under the misconceptions that most of us do until we learn better. I am going to see my family doctor over the break though. Maybe I've just kind of emotionally latched onto my current dr because she is sweet, and I'm not being as critical as I should be. A lot of her advice is very outdated in my opinion though.
Alliecat- story of my life! I thought I was doing really good, 15 lbs down, and put on my size 22's expecting them (unrealistically) to drop down around my ankles. They did not, and I got a little depressed, but at least I'm not growing out of them the other way!
I quit listening to my doctors, now I just got a good one (I think), but overall, I just use my doctor’s visits for the numbers-my weight, blood pressure, cholesterol etc. I’m sure if my previous doctor knew of the way I live and eat she’d be like WTF, so I don’t even debate about it and let the results speak for themselves.
My family sounds a bit like your grandmother-just sorta nitpicky in general. That can be suffocating on someone who is already going through something hard-weight loss. If she’s the type that gets offended easily, I would just ignore her and tell myself that no matter how crappy her words make me feel, nothing will force food in my mouth unless they forcefeed me! Its very hard though, I had to move out, so I totally ugh, I know the feeling all too well.
I think that the fact that you are happy with a less-drastic weight loss is great! A lot of people, including myself, had to struggle with adjusting to losing less than 10 lbs/month.
I don't listen to my doctors, either... If I had, I'd still be obese and probably hospitalized.
You have to make this YOUR journey. It's not your doctor's body or your grandma's or anyone elses, it's yours. You're figuring out what works for you and that's AWESOME. So many people never do, and that's the reason that it's so rare to be successful at weight loss. You're breaking the cycle of crash dieting. It is the best thing you can do for yourself.
Keep up the good work and don't let external factors sidetrack you. You can do this!! The only way to succeed is to never give up! EVER.
YES~ but instead of frustrating family, I have frustrating friends. They all seem to think they know the best way to lose weight and sometimes that includes eating way too little calories. I've been losing super slow, and if I dwell on it I can really feel bad about the process, but oh well We have to keep on trucking
and as for people not noticing: I've lost 40 pounds and NO ONE has said anything (except mom and brother who know I'm dieting/exercising). They only way I know I look different is pictures I take at every 10 pound loss and cause I've gone down a couple sizes!
Quote:
Originally Posted by munchievictim
Does anyone else deal with these issues, people around you prescribing to the diet "gospel" we're fed by the diet industry and pushing their ignorance off on you and your efforts? Or just frustrating family members? I'm just sad, and because I'm sad, it's a struggle every day to stick to my eating plan here.
Awww sorry to hear that your doctors being so harsh! I think that's kind of rediculous. We all care about you here. You're still losing weight! and thats awesome! I think slower is better than fast and unhealthy... Soon enough your pants WILL drop to your ankles.
I'm another one who stopped listening to doctors. If it were up to my doctor things would have been as simple as eating an orange instead of drinking orange juice (I rarely drank it) or if I stopped eating so much junk food. Or maybe if I actually DID exercise!!
Yeah I was always annoyed they never believed me about the exercise. Also they assumed I ate junk food. Actually I ate too much but I was eating too much healthy food!!
Quote:
Originally Posted by munchievictim
Sontaikle- I agree, and Im disappointed that my dr and I have this.. Difference of opinion, I guess. my grandmother would be devastated to know that her words affect me like they do, because she's just trying to help. But it's like, they can't see immediate results and so I must not be trying hard enough, and when I let that effect me I go crazy and lapse back into my destructive cycle of binging and then starving and then eventually giving up and going back full hog to my previous lifestyle. I love my dr (she's really a nurse practitioner) because she's sweet and seems to care about me, and I think she is used to the other college girls extreme dieting, but I've been there! She's also dieting and I think she may fall under the misconceptions that most of us do until we learn better. I am going to see my family doctor over the break though. Maybe I've just kind of emotionally latched onto my current dr because she is sweet, and I'm not being as critical as I should be. A lot of her advice is very outdated in my opinion though.
I hope your family doctor can help you out a bit more.
I know it's too late now, but try not to let your family in on what you're doing. I mean after a while it will be obvious that you're losing weight but at that point you will have lost enough that you can probably get them to shut up (because it will be obvious that you know what you're doing).
I didn't tell anyone when I started—which I know goes against conventional advice—but I think it was one of the best things I ever did. I mean after a while it was totally obvious and now I can't exactly say that I haven't lost weight, but nobody got to bug me when I was figuring everything out.
At that point things go from: "you should do x, y, and z" to "HOW DID YOU LOSE WEIGHT?"
You have us here at 3FC We don't judge based on the speed of your weight loss. Come here to cheer, vent, and discuss food and exercise. Your friends and family will just annoy you too much!
Just sending out hugs! You are doing awesome! Mindset is HALF the work, and you've got that bit. whcih means that this weightloss is going to be permanent. Listen to yourself, you kow what's best for you. And your rate of weightloss is no where near slow.
You should let go of expecting family members to notice though, they will notice when a year from now you are at a healthy weight! .
It's hard for people that don't diet themselves to understand, and when they have seen some one deal with weight issues and yo-yo dieting they get overly "helpfull" but since they are so clueless their help feels like constant lack of faith in your ability to do this. They probably don't even know that's how it can feel, but they feel like they need to help you to get there this time because they don't want you to 'fail' again. I agree with sontaikle - you should talk to them and let them in on what you are doing. Don't brag about the results, brag about the method, the lifestyle change aspect. Tell them that's your focus. And explain how a lifestyle change means still eating cake every now and then. And explain that there's no such thing as perfction so that you might even mess up for a bit here and there but that you are comitted to make it to the finish line and stay there.
Ah, just my two cents. But I think you should listen to yourself mostly. Get people on the same page but even if they won't - it's your body!
I am proud of what I have accomplished so far, and despite wanting to lose faster, I know it's unhealthy to do so and am happy at my rate of loss ... I feel like no matter how proud of myself and content with my rate of loss I am, everyone else thinks I'm just slacking off or expects me to fail.
**** them. If it's working for you, do it. Internal motivation and pride is the best to have anyway. Keep at it.
I think you are doing great! Don't let others tell you how to diet. Obviously what you are doing is working. I really think that they are trying to help and may not realize what they are saying is effecting you. As far as the doctor goes, I may get a new doctor as well.
keep up the good work! I have lost 25 lbs so far and only one person well really two but the other person knows how much I have lost, have told me that they notice. So do not feel bad. Eventually everyone will be asking you "how did you do it!" Also remember, sometimes people may not want to be rude and bring up your weight. I am this way with my friends. If I am not 100% sure, I am not gonna say nothing because I think I may hurt their feelings!
Ignorant expectations effecting how I feel.
We don't judge based on the speed of your weight loss. Come here to cheer, vent, and discuss food and exercise. Your friends and family will just annoy you too much!
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