I work at a car dealership in the office. Several ladies work with me. Some are very healthy, but a couple are VERY unhealthy. Overweight, never exercise, smoke, etc.

In the year and a half I've worked here, I have lost 30 pounds and am back to being very strict with diet and exercise.

At lunch, they always ask "What are you eating" and I am very open about my healthy lunches and how few calories they are (for so much food!).

They always say things like "I need help knowing what to eat" or "eating healthy is so hard" or "400 calories will never fill me up" or whatever.

One has even asked to see my food diary online to "get ideas for what to eat"

That same lady was going around the office yesterday asking if anyone wanted to order Mexican for lunch. Trying to help, I said "What are you ordering?" "They have salads" was her response. I said, tell them no cheese and extra chicken and tomatos and take it easy on the chips.

Well I go to heat up my lunch (of oatmeal, a scrambled egg and fresh fruit....350 calories), she is eating a HUGE portion of chicken, rice and queso and chowing down on chips!

Why even ask me for help if you are only going to go the opposite way?

Do you have anyone in your life who seems interested in your changes but ignores the advice?

My husband, lol...

They sound like they want "help" not help. Best to just leave them be.

It is frusterating to see people eating so unhealthy when they are obviously feeling like they need to make changes. I have a sister who has always been very thin. She is 6 foot tall and used to weigh 130 lbs. This is a size 2-4 which on a 6 foot woman is tiny.
Since getting married she has gained weight to where she weighs probablky close to 200lbs.
Since I have always had to battle the bulge she has asked me a few times what to do to keep your weight in check. Yet when we go out to eat she is always ordering things like fettucini alfredo and country fried chicken. It's upsetting to know that someone I love so much is not helping herself by eating these foods. Now maybe its only a infrequent thing, since I dont eat out with her often. But with her weight gain and the fact I know she and her husband eat out 2 or 3 times a week, I fear these foods aren't the exception, but more the rule.

I know in the times I have been eating poorly I often fall victim to the "diet tomorrow" mentality. I figure I am not dieting yet so I should eat whatever I want now because "I wont ever eat these foods again". Of course this only resulted in weight gain and its a terrible mentality to fall prey too. Maybe this is your co-workers issue. She is thinking that she will start her diet sometime, but since its not the time she is not caring now.

Unfortunately we cant make people be ready for making life changes. And we all know people who never made those changes, but hopefully she will decide that she will make changes and make them right in that moment. For me tomorrow never came. I had to decide to change right in that moment.

Anyways your there with a wealth of knowledge and your walking the walk. You will continue to be questioned by people that know you and have seen your transformation. But sadley alot of people asking advice wont follow it.

I have a few people whom have asked for advice. I give ideas and pointers and STILL they do the complete opposite.

Yup.

I don't think she's emotionally ready to lose weight. I can tell she wants to but we all know its about more then that. When shes ready, she'll take your advice. Until then, do continue to offer it when she asks even if she dosen't take it, your still helping her for when she does

Why are you so concerned with (and critical of ) what she's eating? She's no more your concern/responsibility than the rock on the ground. Stop looking for things to criticize in others and focus on your own life.

This is a journey for everyone. I remember when I asked others about eating healthy because it just seemed impossible to me. Even though I asked for help/tips, I was on my way to Chinese for lunch

I know the struggle of wanting to know and asking for tips but not having the will power to dig in and make it happen. When I was ready to commit, I did and guess what? I went back to all of the tips others thought I "ignored" as I made my way to Pizza Hut.

Be patient with them at this stage of their journey. You reached your AHA moment when you were ready. They will too.

Probably at the "precontemplation" or "contemplation" stage of making change and not ready to step to "preparationg of a plan" or "putting plan in action."



A.

I wouldn't worry yourself over it. You know the saying: "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink."

I wouldn't worry about it. Cheerfully offer the advice if they ask for it, and don't take it personally when they don't follow it. Every person has to hit their tipping point before they will take action. How many of us saw the weight creeping up and knew we needed to change but didn't UNTIL we hit a certain point? I remember that at 180 I was thinking NO MORE but it wasn't until I hit 225 that I started turning things around. I wish I'd started at 180, since right now I'd love to even see that number on a scale.

I'm not sure why you're getting so frustrated over this. I could understand it if it was directly interfering with your own diet, like sometimes in the case of my boyfriend, but it's not. I could even understand if this was some one that you were close to and loved, and thefore really cared about their weight loss, but that doesn't seem to be the case. So, I'm a little confused.

Plus, in the scenario, she really wasn't asking for your advice at that point in time about what she was ordering that day. I know you were just trying to be helpful, but I'd probably stick to only giving advice when asked, and I would try not to be too judgemental or critical. As Mark Twain said, "Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example."

It's hard to follow the best advice. I lost thirty pounds previously following the best advice, and I stumbled, and here I am, right where I was to begin with; however, I still have that great advice to start over with again. Hopefully this woman will learn some things that will start her on her journey when she's ready. Until then, let's all give advice freely.

I'm sure it wasn't intended but your advice was probably fairly patronising to her also. Most of us know that to lose weight, we need to go easy on things like chips and cheese. She's not silly, she just isn't ready to commit to a healthier diet yet.

RazorbackBritt:
As frustrating as it may be, do you remember how long it took you to decide to change your lifestyle? If you are like most people, you thought about it for a long while, sometimes even years, before you took action. Although they may say they want advice/help, they will only be able to take action and change their lifestyle when THEY are ready. Until then, keep doing what you're doing (its awesome!) and know that someday....when they are ready...they will probably remember that coworker who ate so healthy and they watched lose weight, before their eyes. You will have moved on but you will be an inspiration, even then!