hello all
I just need to vent out a few things to people who know how I feel and can still be sorta objective.
I am just under 5 feet tall. Not quite 4'11"-- a little taller, but not quite at 5'. This morning, I weighed 120lbs. My BMI and hip to waist ratio are considered "normal" and within the "healthy" range. I've lost 12-13lbs. I was down to 119, but I've been stuck for over 2 weeks around that range and having serious issues with BM. I used to be spot on at least once a day, and most days I'd have to go twice a day....but lately, I've been going 3 or 4 days with nothing!! Nothing has changed-- my food intake, the KINDS of foods I'm eating, my activity levels... I can't help but wonder if this is causing my stall in weight loss. I am so frustrated and miserable feeling. I ate about 8 prunes the other day and it did nothing. I broke down and took some miralax in my hot tea this morning and it also did nothing. I'm not sure what to do.
also, I still feel like a big fat hog. Seriously, I've taken 1 picture of myself where I felt like I looked thin. Just one. My father in-law posted some pictures from our Christmas and I looked through them and just thought the whole time "it doesn't even look like I've lost anything! I still look just as fat as I did before....am I working so hard for NOTHING?!"
I was in a kinda loose 10 and a tight 8....now I'm in a comfortable 6. I know it's doing something, it just doesn't look like it to me. I'm afraid I'm ALWAYS going to look fat no matter how much I lose.
I am short waisted, so my waist is small--but I still look wide. I can tell the most difference when I turn and look at myself from the side...from the front I still feel like I look like I need to turn sideways to fit through the door frame.
and now my mom has started in on me. "You don't need to lose any more weight, you look great and if you lose more you'll be too skinny" "I don't want you to become anorexic and I'm afraid you are getting there"
and I tried to talk to her earlier about how I was feeling and she just got all paranoid about me being anorexic. I am not-- far from it. I just am careful about what I eat. Weighing and counting calories and making sure I don't eat too much is NOT being anorexic! very brisk walking between 2 and 5 miles a day is NOT being "obsessed with exercise."
sorry for this word vomit... I'm just feeling discouraged.