I thought it would be fun to bake chocolate chip cookies with my kids on the first day of their Christmas break. As soon as they were cool I ate a dozen. Literally 12 cookies. Not to mention probably another half dozen worth of batter. I was so ashamed after I had finally stopped. I even started googling bulimia websites to see if I could learn how to purge for the first time. I never did. Lesson I've learned: I'm never making cookies again. Ever.

all of december I was staying up late than eating my way through the cupboards till early in the morning.

I should start going to bed earlier maybe.

I do that too. Especially on my days off because my husband and I have different work schedules and get probably one day off together a week, sometimes every two weeks. Despite me starting Weight Watchers on Sunday I still fell back into my old habit of eating junk and sugar free red bull on my days off alone. I'll hide the wrappers or bags at the bottom of the trashcan or in the cupboards and throw them away when he's asleep. At our old apartment, I had a whole cubby of old junk food wrappers that I'd stash until I could throw them away. It's that habit i can't seem to break. I also used to drink wine alone at night before bed, but I actually have stopped that because of how awful I feel the next day. Today all I ate was a bag of lays sour cream and onion chips, two red bulls, and then spaghetti at dinner when my husband came home. Needless to say, I felt like total crap all day and my stomach kept rumbling churning. Each time, I wonder why I did it because it's only satisfying while I'm chewing. It's the mindless hand to mouth taste aspect. I guess it makes sense since I am an ex smoker. I need to learn to replace it with fruits and vegetables!