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Old 09-22-2011, 01:06 PM   #1  
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Default NO! i haven't given up!

Ive been sitting on this rage since yesterday, holding it inside but i have to let it out - maybe someone else has had a similar experience and can offer words of wisdom.

Yesterday at work we were having a little party for someone who was leaving. I thought "oh those rocky roads look good, not sure i can resist" so i had a look at the tub and saw that there was only 46 calories per bit so i treated myself to one and one of my co-workers saw me and said "i see you have given up on your diet too, i don't know why we bother, id rather just eat and be happy than starve myself".
Now i haven't given up and said "no i am allowing myself a small treat" she then laughed and said "i always say that too" and walked off.

I was fuming! how dare she assume i had given up! I didn't comment on her hoovering up everything in sight (that's what it looked like - she was shovelling food into her mouth).

Is it silly to get so annoyed at this? All day i've been thinking to myself that ill lose weight and show her i haven't given up but to be honest i want to do this for myself - not to prove to anyone else that i can. I am livid.
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Old 09-22-2011, 01:10 PM   #2  
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I think she wanted someone to comiserate with. That was about her, not you.

Last edited by fattymcfatty; 09-22-2011 at 01:10 PM.
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Old 09-22-2011, 01:10 PM   #3  
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I used to let it bother me when people police my food but I just stopped caring. After all, if they don't pay my bills or put a roof over my head they really can't say what I should or shouldn't do. Sometimes you just can't take it personal. She might have said to be more reflection on her than you.
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Old 09-22-2011, 01:18 PM   #4  
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AHHH!! The same thing happened to me today with a (male) co-worker!! (Like, it happened an hour ago.)

I just forced a smile and went back to working. (What made it worse was when he added, "Oh, and you girls don't loose as much weight daily, do you?")

Unsolicited negative comments are the worst! And, really, I almost feel as if most of those kinds of comments are made out of bitterness and spite.
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Old 09-22-2011, 04:23 PM   #5  
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i know it was more about her wanting someone to make her feel that her eating wasnt so bad. But i had 1 piece she ate SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO much there really was no comparison.
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Old 09-22-2011, 04:44 PM   #6  
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I get it from my brother all the time, the "are you allowed to eat that"!!! I always tell him, don't worry about me and what i'm eating lol!! It probably makes her feel better to think your in the same boat as her. Little does she know that if it works within your plan than so be it. None of her business. I'd be ticked off too, no need to comment on someone else's business
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Old 09-22-2011, 04:45 PM   #7  
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Her problem, not yours

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rechyl View Post
i know it was more about her wanting someone to make her feel that her eating wasnt so bad. But i had 1 piece she ate SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO much there really was no comparison.
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Old 09-22-2011, 05:20 PM   #8  
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Ugh, I hate comments like that! What's worst is that her all or nothing attitude (where apparently eating ONE piece = off plan) is probably what led her to going off plan in the first place. I know I used to have that mentality and making one mistake would lead me into a binging cycle.

I really wish that more people knew that you don't have to be perfect (and obviously being perfect is relative because that sounded like it fit just fine within your calories for the day!) on your diet to stick with it and continue to lose!
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Old 09-22-2011, 05:20 PM   #9  
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Misery loves company. Plain and simple.

Just smile and nod, and go back to eating your very normal and healthy way. Months from now she'll wonder at how you lost so much weight being that you "went off your diet like she did".
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Old 09-22-2011, 06:04 PM   #10  
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Like everyone else said she probably just feels bad about her eating and her own giving up so she was comforted by the sight of you having a treat.

Although I do agree that it was sort of rude for her to assume that just because you are having one little treat that you have given up.

I think though that the important point of this encounter was that you only had one! You were able to treat yourself without getting carried away, and even when she gave you an out by saying that she always gives up too, you remained strong.
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Old 09-22-2011, 07:39 PM   #11  
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She probably was having a bad day because she was not doing well on her eating, so she tried to sabotage your eating for the day.But you should feel strong because you only had one.Maybe you could give her some pointers on moderation.
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Old 09-23-2011, 06:22 PM   #12  
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Sweetie, you're so allowed to be livid! I really hate it when people say things like that to me! Passive agressives are the worst!

My sisters have been gaining weight like crazy and I think it bothers them that I'm losing. They'll say things like, "Oh well, we wouldn't want you getting fat again" in that really hideous tone that makes me feel like crap when I decline the humongous plates they offer me at their house. Ugh! it makes me want to scream!
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Old 09-23-2011, 08:36 PM   #13  
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I don't think it's silly to be annoyed by it, but I do think it probably is something that you don't need to expend emotional energy on. Like others have said, it seems like the exchange was all about her. Maybe she was being passive-aggressive, maybe she felt guilty and was hoping that you could assuage that sense of guilt, and then got defensive when you didn't. Whatever - it's not your problem.
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