Anyone else having a Quarter life crisis and/or job search woes?
I graduated college last summer, my 25th birthday is approaching, I'm living at home, no boyfriend or social life, 2k of credit card debt, no car and I'm unemployed.
I believe that going through this is making me a more compassionate and loving person. The experience is definitely humbling. I'm grateful for my family's support and patience; I just don't know how much more I can take.
My life was on track until my senior year of college. Before it started I earned good grades, was on pace to complete my double major on time and knew what I wanted. Then a bunch of things went wrong at once, it took me two more years to finish and my GPA suffered. Two years of trying to sort out some minor loose ends while having my parents berate me constantly. I thought once I got over the hump of graduating, things would get better. They didn't.
I fully accept the law of the universe that only bad things happen quickly. It takes longer to rebuild than to destroy, but this is getting ridiculous. After college I needed to move home. This past year I took the GREs and enrolled at a local state school. I'm working toward my masters.
I got rejected by an internship, which took me weeks to apply for. I went on three job interviews. Thought one was a shoe in because a classmate put in a good word for me. I'm hoping to work while taking a graduate class or two at night. Right now my job search is in full swing and it's bringing up all sorts of insecurities and anxieties. I'm reading "what color is your parachute" and am trying to be smart about my job search…send thank you notes and all that stuff. I'm just not getting anywhere.
I now need to get a service job because I'm super broke. I feel like I have so much energy that I want to pour into something. I'm ready for a real job. Extending all this effort into researching companies and writing cover letters, which go nowhere, is deflating. It just takes so much effort to keep going and stay positive. Why couldn't I have been one of those SOB's who drank their way through school, barely graduated then gets a great job right out because they like the same baseball player as a recruiter? Life isn't fair.
At least I've lost 30 pounds. I want to reach my new year's goal of losing 60 pounds. Part of my motivation to stay OP is giving me something positive to cling to. If I lose 60 pounds the right way and keep it off, reaching my lowest adult weight, the year will be a success.
Does anyone else who's feeling the crunch want to rant?
Any good stories of someone who was in my situation and then things got better fast?
OHhh honey, I am right there with you, along with about 10 other friends of mine. I truly do believe in the quarter life crisis. Its an uncomfortable adjustment period where you just cant seem to find a sense of content. This is normal. I have been told by countless and countless numbers of women who all said the same thing. They all just felt that discontent feeling around their early to mid twenties. Where they just wanted to get up and move and start something fresh and exciting. Problems is, once they moved and got there, they still felt the same. Unfortunately, I think its something we have to stick out and have faith. Almost all the women said by their late twenties, early thirties, something happend. They all of a sudden felt content. Couldnt explain it, but just felt more calm, peaceful and happy about life. My mom has told me from a young age that her best years were probably in her 30's. Dont worry hun, things WILL get better and know you are not alone. A lot of times when we are down and have some circumstances that are less favorable, we tend to let our mind dwell and think only of these negative things. Try and focus on the positive. Things will change. I promise !
You left out what your degree is in! You never know, some 3FCer might have a job connection out there for you.
I found my job (which I love) through, basically, networking. Put it out there that you're looking to EVERYONE (yes, even 3FC) and more opportunities will have a chance to reach you.
I don't have any advice to give, I just wanted to let you know that I did read this. My heart goes out to you, just keep your head up & something will come up. I know this economy/job market is slim right now but there is light at the end of the tunnel
I read this too, its basically the crisis of our current generation. Lots of my friends have graduated college with degrees with high hopes. Said hopes become dashed and we wind up living at home with our parents and with no job.
My advice at least take up a hobby or something that will give you a sense of purpose in life.
Thanks guys. I didn't expect so many replies so quickly. I'm sort of having a "woe is me" type day. Tomorrow I'll go back to feeling positive. It upset me today when my mom had to pay for my dentist visit. Also I picked up some old mail from my previous address. I saw some rejection letters (one of which was IMO rudely worded), notices about my account being overdrawn, credit card applications and brochures for trips I can't afford. It just put me in a bad mood.
I double majored in Nutrition and Psychology. Coming from a family with lots of obesity I became interested in the topic. In college I weighed 175 and wore a size 10. I was chubby but thin enough to be taken seriously as a nutritionist. When things went downhill I really put on weight. This is also part of my motivation to lose. It's harder to get a job in the nutrition field when you are 40 pounds overweight.
I'm currently not in a great position to apply for an internship to become a registered dietitian. Recently the number of nutrition students graduating has gone way up and the number of available internships has stayed the same. Hence internships are really competitive. Finishing graduate school and/or getting some experience should make me a better candidate.
Right now I'm trying to get a job with WIC or Head Start or some sort of government agency. It's the best option for practicing nutrition without an RD. You work with low income pregnant women and children, advise them on what to eat, breastfeeding etc. I've been to a few of these centers on interviews and I've always seen a few REALLY overweight nutritionists, so my weight is likely to be less of an issue.
I hope to eventually be able to show clients before and after pics and tell them I know what it's like to be overweight. I'm doing it right this time. I now realize that I pretty much can't have trigger foods ever. I want to finish my masters and become a dietitian. I'm taking a few more classes in the fall, so at least I'll be doing something to work towards my goals even if I have to get a service job.
It's just frustrating. It also doesn't help that literally all of my college friends found jobs right out, had minimal problems and most of them are engaged/getting married/in a serious relationship. I have to see most of them in less than a month at a wedding. I'm happy they are doing well but I'm dreading trying to come up with small talk about how I've been.
Hopefully all of this will just make it feel that much sweeter when my career finally takes off.
Been there - but for me, it is a "third-life" crisis! (Sorry, I'm a youthful 34-year-old who couldn't resist commenting in this 20-somethings thread.)
Please consider volunteering! Volunteering will allow you to get out of the house, network, and let folks know what you're all about - similar to what mandalinn suggests. Do you know how many corporate groups volunteer as part of their organizatinal initiatives? A ton! You won't just be meeting retirees if you choose to donate your time and talent to a worthy cause.
You mentioned you're working towards your Master's degree. When I was in graduate school, I took advantage of the Career Services offered by my school. Have you looked into it? Are some of your faculty adjunct or less than full-time? Where do they work? Do an informational interview with professionals whose careers you'd like to emulate, understanding that it is purely a fact-gathering session. Folks are helpful, by nature, and will likely enjoy speaking to a young person about her dreams. Building these relationships will serve you well.
Finally, you must must must stay as positive as you can. Fake it 'til you make it. You're correct: life is not fair. Many times, however, I've been on the receiving end of the larger slice of delicious chocolate cake, so I can't complain. So what if some lush snagged a job because he likes the same sports player as the recruiter? You know what? That kid is smart as ****, because he is the type of person who is probably able to shoot the sh*t with anyone, which makes him likeable, which makes him hireable!
I wish you much success...stay strong!
Oh my...I have to giggle, because I was a psych major as well! I knew in undergrad that I'd need to go to grad school, so I entered a PhD program 6 weeks after graduation. Fast-forward to today, where I now work in a totally unrelated field. (!) You never know where life will take you...be open. Think outside the box. Consider moving from NJ to an area with better job opportunities. Consider spending 6 months overseas. You get the drift...you'll do great.
I can relate. I've been searching high and low for an internship so I can finish my degree in Accounting. My school isn't too helpful even though the internship is a requirement to graduate and I'm not as well connected as many of my peers have been. I'm working part time at Target just to be able to cover my basic expenses and in the mean time the clock is ticking down on my 6 month grace period for my loans.
I'm hoping that I can get an internship for the fall, since things never came together for this Summer, but until then I just try to keep my head up because I know I could have it worse.
It's good that you're keeping on with your plan. There's times when I wish I could be heading back to school in the fall instead of graduated with an uncertain future, but I know that I'll weather the storm and come out the other end stronger.
Quarter-life crisis and job search woes? Yes and yes!!
Depending on how you look at it, I'm either coming out of the quarter-life crisis or diving all the way into it, but from my perspective things are looking up !
I'm not going to say it happened fast, but I've done some soul searching and have really changed directions from where I thought I was heading when I graduated 2 years ago. I felt like I was in a constant up-hill battle trying to get the job I wanted and it never really worked out. When I finally got a taste of it with a temporary position I thought it would be the cocnnection I needed, but turns out, I was miserable! There are a million reasons why, but I realized it was not a good fit for me right now. After a while, it started to show and I started getting really bad feedback from my boss which I had never gotten before. I hate doing something and not doing it well, but my heart just wasn't in it. I thought it was what I wanted, but something wasn't working.
I started to question why I was working so hard to get this job in the first place. It wasn't anything I consciously decided on, but really just the next part of the path I was already on. Degree, internship, certification, job and onwards for the next 30 years. It was what I 'should' be doing, and it was scary to admit that ultimately, it was not what I really wanted. Cue quarter-life crisis, oh-my-lady-gaga-what-am-I-going-to-do freak out!
I really try to learn from my failures and see them as opportunities to grow. What wasn't working? Why was I so miserable? What did I need? What could I have done better? How can I improve? Where should I go from here? I started researching other possibilities of what I could do with my qualifications- I definitely did my homework! Asking these questions and staying open to possibilities has put me on a totally different path (within the same field) that I am SO excited about! I walked into my last interview excited, knowing it was exactly what I am supposed to be doing. I have never had that feeling in an interview before and by the time the interview was over, I had the 'job'. It's somewhat unconventional, but it is a perfect match for my passions, values and where I am in life. If I had signed a contract a year ago, I would have never had this opportunity. I was bummed at the time when I kept getting looked over for jobs, but now I'm so glad it happened.
Stay open. Stay positive. Be proactive. Focus on what it is that you really want and put it out there! Sometimes, things have a way of working themselves out.
Have you looked into the public school system? I have a friend who was a Nutrition and Exercise Science double major in her undergrad who worked at WIC right out of school and then as a nutritionist in the public school system, working with kids to make healthier choices. She held that job while she completed grad school in something dietitian-y. I know Iowa doesn't have jobs like that (she was in Illinois) but you might have those positions in NJ.
My fiance was unemployed for damn near a year, so I know how hard it can be. But you know what? Something good will come out of this. Had it not been for that rough patch, he never would have gone back to school to finish his BA. You'll have a silver lining by the end of this rough patch too - promise!
Scarlett, I am in a similar situation and I am a little frustrated. I graduated with my Masters in Occupational Therapy about one month ago and I am currently living at home with the rents and studying for my licensure test. It is probably going to take me another 3 weeks and then I have to find a job. I really wish that I could just be employed tomorrow because the job search gives me a lot of anxiety. It is kind of funny that you and I have similar stats too. I am here if you want to pm me.
Thank you guys so much for the replies and the love.
I am making progress, it's just excruciatingly slow. At the very least I should end the year with 5 more grad credits for a total of 11/32 completed. I should lose 30 more pounds, work somewhere and do something career related (ie volunteer or work on a credential) on the side. It's just tough to not be financially independent at this point in my life. I feel like things are harder for me than they are for most people.
Dianne - I know it will get better and that it's natural to feel this way. It just sucks
Ticklemepink - that was really sweet. Thanks
Irishcanary - I do have hobbies. I've been running (C25K program). It's helped a lot, the psychological boost of completing a run that you could barely get though half of a week ago has helped
Fatburner - I'd love to volunteer, I just don't have a car and there's limited public transportation. I have had some promising leads though my school but none of them panned out. I do need to widen my approach and make sure I'm utilizing all the available resources. Thanks for the support.
Michi - Good luck finding an internship. My brother is a college senior in a similar internship situation.
Tuende - glad I'm not alone. I did the bad job thing too. During my last 2 years of school I worked as a waitress and something inside me just wanted so badly to make it work. I wanted to prove to everyone I could pay my bills and put myself though school. I let myself get abused and it was part of the reason my school situation got so bad.
I've done some soul searching and I definitely believe I'm on the right track. I just need to get my foot in a door somewhere.
Kariatari - The school idea is a good suggestion. I will look into it. Though I know everyone and their brother are trying to get education/teaching jobs lately. Thanks for the encouragement.
Sunshine87 - I know, the anxiety is the worst. I'm constantly checking my gmail and am afraid to go to the bathroom without my cell phone. It's making me so irritable. I SO wish I could just have a job tomorrow and this would be behind me.
I feel you. I just turned 27 a few days ago and my circumstances are similar to yours except I have less direction than you. I agree with you on how humbling this can be. This experience has done away with some of my haughtiness and made me appreciate what I have.
I heard someone say that they could predict your future by looking at your present and immediate past. Using this idea I'll say you'll be able to achieve your goals. You're actively looking for work in your field and are losing weight in a matter which you deem healthy. As long as you keep on track and don't get discouraged for too long you'll be able to achieve your current goals.
Anyone else having a Quarter life crisis and/or job search woes?
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