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Old 06-19-2011, 02:57 AM   #1  
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Default A bundle of insecurities

Oprah always talked about how losing weight was a spiritual journey as well as a physical one, I don't think I realized she meant this

I have had a bunch of insecurities my whole life, but I've always been the chubby girl so of course I did, but I feel like I could really suppress all of those feelings whether it was using food or simply because i could bottle them down behind layers of fat....

But now as the fat is coming off, I feel like the insecurities are slowly coming to the surface, and by slowly I mean racing to the front and bashing me over the head with it.

Does this happen to anyone else?
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Old 06-19-2011, 05:49 AM   #2  
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Don't let it discourage you or let you slip back into bad habits. You're doing a great job, you're halfway to your goal.

I think when you suppress these feelings, you construct an identity for yourself...in your case, the 'chubby girl' who bottled things up. Now you are losing, you can't hide behind this assumed identity any longer because you are no longer that girl. It could be the subconscious chubby girl afraid to be the thin girl struggling to keep the thin girl from coming out. If you know what I mean.

Face these insecurities by writing down all the great things you are noticing about yourself now the weight is dropping...maybe your face is slimming or you're noticing a neat little waist beginning to emerge...or that you have bags of energy and feel lighter...CONCENTRATE ON THE POSITIVE and the insecurities will melt away along with the weight.xxx
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Old 06-19-2011, 08:36 AM   #3  
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That is extremely true. Last night was a down right awful night for me, (break-up) but this morning I am ready to take on the world, I weighed myself I am down another 3 lbs, making me smaller than I was back when I was in high-school which was a while ago, making me be at -22.4 lbs.

I will say this though, in the midst of every single emotion I went through last night anticipation, heart ache anger sorrow etc. I never wanted to eat, I just turned to the people I know support me, on here and in real life (what a good friend that will answer at 3:30 in the morning and just listen to sobbing for 40 min). but i never even thought about going to the fridge to comfort me.
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Old 06-19-2011, 02:44 PM   #4  
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I think a lot of it is that losing weight is a lifestyle change, and while you're 'training' yourself into new, better habits, your mind is on it a lot. You're thinking about the changes you want and you can grow anxious that you're 'not there yet.'

That anxiety can stick with you and surface every time you hit a setback. Sometimes even something as simple as looking in the mirror . The important thing is to shrug off those pangs of anxiety and know that Rome wasn't built in a day! Everyone on this forum knows how much effort and discipline it takes to lose weight, so everyone here can appreciate your hard work. It's what we're here for!

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Old 06-19-2011, 06:53 PM   #5  
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This reminds me of some other posts I've seen on here about how some girls feel brushed off by guys because of their weight. Their thin friends are always being hit on when they go out, and guys don't give them a second look. While I don't doubt that a lot of male attention is based on looks, what happens if you're thin and you still don't get the attention you've been hoping for? When weight is no longer a scapegoat, the sources of "problems" can be much more abstract things like personality, sense of humour, demeanor, etc. I think it's a lot harder to accept those kinds of issues than to accept weight, largely because the solution to being overweight is clearer than the solution to having a personality flaw.
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Old 06-19-2011, 07:21 PM   #6  
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I can absolutely relate. I have an all or nothing issue where if I want to lose weight I have to be pretty focused on my plan. I have to think about it throughout the day and that draws attention to my body where it never was before. I haven't even lost that much weight yet, but just the process of thinking about my body and trying to change it has proven to be a challenge for me.

I never had an issue with confidence at all until I started trying to lose weight. Now I feel bigger than ever, despite losing some weight, my stretch marks feel like the end of the world, and I beat myself up for letitng things go. I write things like this on this website and I'm shocked when people tell me to have more confidence. I used to be Miss Confidence before all this. I've never been told that in my life. I see why, of course. I would say the same thing, it's just shocking to see this change in myself.

I can relate and I am hoping that I can wrap my mind around this asap. I suspect it's all just new to us still.
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Old 06-19-2011, 10:58 PM   #7  
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Yes. Probably over 50% of the time I long for the carefree, non-"messed up" mental and emotional state I was in before I became obsessed with food and weight. My mental health has gone berserk, I have developed a mild case of binge eating disorder and I was probably all-together "healthier" when I was smoking and not caring about what I put in my mouth.
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Old 06-19-2011, 11:26 PM   #8  
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ish View Post
I can absolutely relate. I have an all or nothing issue where if I want to lose weight I have to be pretty focused on my plan. I have to think about it throughout the day and that draws attention to my body where it never was before. I haven't even lost that much weight yet, but just the process of thinking about my body and trying to change it has proven to be a challenge for me.

I never had an issue with confidence at all until I started trying to lose weight. Now I feel bigger than ever, despite losing some weight, my stretch marks feel like the end of the world, and I beat myself up for letitng things go. I write things like this on this website and I'm shocked when people tell me to have more confidence. I used to be Miss Confidence before all this. I've never been told that in my life. I see why, of course. I would say the same thing, it's just shocking to see this change in myself.

I can relate and I am hoping that I can wrap my mind around this asap. I suspect it's all just new to us still.
What you said really resonated with me. While I wouldn't say I was "Miss Confidence," it was never much of an issue for me until I started spending hours everyday thinking about my weight. When I came on here and set a numerical goal that was close to 50 lbs to lose, I felt hopeless. I never felt like I looked like someone who needed to lose nearly 50 lbs...it's been a bit damaging mentally but as long as the number keeps going down slowly, I'll be alright.
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