ugh, ive been at my current job for 2 years now and they cut my hours back to pretty much nothing. so i had to move back home and at this rate i feel like im going to be stuck here forever! and what really sucks is they gave my old hours to another girl who hasnt been there as long as me and her husband has a good job so she doesnt *need* the hours like i do.. its so annoying but everyone knows how it is i cant find a 2nd or new job... its just.. idk it just sucks!

I hate that maintaining feels just as depriving as dieting. I'm not even HAPPY here but I can't seem to lose because I have binges every couple weeks or so. I hate 90% of photos and I weigh 20-30 pounds more than all my coworkers who are way older than I am and who have had kids. I have a crappy body with crappy proportions and I'm covered in bug bites and have a tan (I HATE being tan). Summer is great but as far as feeling good about how I look is concerned, it can fall crotch-first on the blade of an ice skate.

1000 lunges, millions of squats, hours of exercise/cardio, low carb and low calorie dieting, a loss of 25 lbs and I still cant walk into a juniors store and fit into less than a size 9 jeans.
Hips still basically 38.5' and I think they measured 40' when I first started losing weight.
I still have a goal of 10-15 more lbs but cant help to think that even then ill be doomed to this pear shaped body with a really bulky/ thick lower half. I went window shopping yesterday and as I was trying things on I noticed SOME slimming in the thighs and legs. Still, considering all my hard work and the calories Ive passed up on it kind of all seems in vain when I look at my reflection or struggle to get my thigh into a pair of jeans that I would've struggled with 20 lbs ago.

Im so jealous of ppl who can lose 5-10lbs and their pants/ jeans are falling off of them. Sounds so silly and petty but hey the grass is always greener....

I'm tired of the summer (Texas) heat! I'm tired of my damn legs chaffing every time I go for a walk or just move! I'm tired of excersizing and eating right and still being fat (even though I know rationally, duh, I did this to myself)! I'm tired of all these darn photo taking at special events! Congratulations on all the weddings and graduations and engagements - but do I really have to participate in photo sessions at each and every event? I don't need a reminder of how fat I am.

Bleh. There it all is. :)

I am soooo fed up with the 2 other girls I work with in the front being completely lazy all the time. I am the only person who does everything that needs to be done and its not like this is a hard job! All we're responsible for is putting patients information into a chart on the computer, scanning their papers, and then handling medical requests, and answering phones. That's pretty much all there is to it.. Not only do they not put all the info in, they leave paperwork that we receive that needs to be reviewed laying all over the place. And when they request/get back records they don't document it anywhere!!!! I come in and I have no idea whats going on whats where and who needs what.. So frustrating trying to do my job the best that I can and not being able to from because they're just dang lazy! And then one of the girls is soooo nasty that she leaves like dirty dishes and half empty cups laying everywhere up here... She literally has dishes in the back of drawers under files.. how ridiculous is that?? Ugh!!

Ok done ranting! hahaha!

I am tired of my neighbors. I am home almost all the time this summer, live in subsidized apartment, of the other units (8 total) in this building there are
1 alcoholic older man who never bathes
2 alcoholic older woman who is nosey and will mooch/borrow/bore you to death
with disgusting stories if you let her
3 alcoholic man who gets thrown into jail every now and then
4 schizophrenic guy
Why do they bother me so much? Schizo hangs out on my level (even though he lives upstairs and can talk for 10 hours straight, has woken me up, prevented me from sleeping etc etc. and the drinkers will hang out with him. I used to feel bad for him, and others, but being even casually cordial as I come and go has brought me too much trouble and instrusion in my life, so after the last round of BS, I now do not even acknowledge most of these people. So it's just a little uncomfortable even taking my garbage out because I have to walk past/around these people.
Just a rant!

I have to do strength training and cardio this morning at the gym after working overnight 11pm-7am. It's going to take almost 2 hours, so by the time I get home it'll be 9am. I have to work on some very overwhelming projects at home for my business, and actually put in a lot of work because I have off tonight and have no excuses. I feel very fat and bloated despite having experienced 1.5-2 lbs in weight loss very recently. Usually when I lose a few lbs I can see and feel it and it makes me feel good, but not today. My pants are getting big on me but they're uncomfortable and made of scratchy fabric. I have to do a lot of laundry. Tonight is my last day off, then I have to work 7 nights in a row, My bra underwires keep poking at my armpits. My eyebrows are starting to get unkempt and I have to get them threaded. I haven't blow dried & flat ironed my hair in days because I've been working out every morning and I can't be bothered to be doing my hair all the time.

I second the chocolate and the summer courses. Why did i think taking research would be a good idea? I know ive been working out hardcore only since the beginning of the
month but im ready for my results Now! Lol

Ranting...
Have been feeling emotional and sorry for myself since Tuesday.. must be hormones or something..

and EVERY LITTLE THING is wrecking my head.. a very good mate of mine is such a lovely girl but has been in a downer negative mode for about 5 months and although usually i'm quite the listener and upbeat person... i can't handle the down down down... and then i have guilt cos i didn't text her to say hi and see how she was, cos i knew the reply would be " work is crap sick of being alone , need a boyfriend" and i couldn't take the negative.. sometimes i just want to get te positivity back in return ...

ok rant over ..ah this is good therapy..

will try pull it back together and cop on... and i also like your comment, of feeling bad for not feeling bad haha that exactly what i have been doing for 3 days...

ok thanks for the place to rant :) grrrrrrrrrrrr

oh also ... i kinda went MAJORLY iff plan for the past 2 days and i just know that ill be up by Saturday Carbs and melted cheese etc VERY BAD.. ahhhhhhhhhh

Why did I take a Human Sexuality class? ..I'm not immature but this is seriously gross!
130.6 this morning .. not happy with the fact that I keep self sabotoging. I can gladly say I did awesome today with my calories and its' Day 2 of JM 6 weeks to 6 pack DVD. If I had only not messed up so much in May I would probably be near my GW now. But no I suck!

I detest people in places of authority that have forgotton what it feels like to be the new person at work. Expecting you to know everything and being impateint when questions are asked. I also hate being shouted out, don't take your anger out on me, so you are stressed out because of work? not my problem. I hate being so sensitive, always have been but It is the one part of my personality I wish I could just erase. I need thicker skin...

I JUST WANT THIS PART TO BE OVER WITH! I have been working my *** off for three months and I still can't see any difference. I seriously think i've lost 48 pounds in my neck. thats the only darn place i can see a slight change. I hate that i'm down almost 50 friggin' pounds but i haven't gained one ounce of confidence! and there are girls a lot bigger than me at the bar getting a man! but not me-i just can't do it! I hate that I used to be beautiful and now i'm just a lump. all i want is for my hard work to start showing. just a teeny bit.

sorry for the negative rant lol i needed to get it off my chest and what better place to do it than this thread?

I hate the fact I'm up 4 pounds in weight!

I hate the fact I'm still too damn lazy to do anything and I'm going home in weeks...FAIL! I wanted to be skinny!

I hate the fact that my mind plays damn tricks on me and doesn't allow me to think I look skinny all the time! I hate the fact that I got fired from my part time job just because I'm strong minded and not a two faced catty miserable twat!

I hate the fact that some guy told me I was ugly and he isn't even that good looking himself!

I hate the fact now I'm not going to have a lot of party money and I have to watch what I spend!

I hate the fact I probably could have had some bills paid off but didn't do it because I decided SHOPPING was so much more fun.

I hate the fact that I'm too damn lazy to even get a better paying job and get out there and try something different!

I hate the fact that my Papa passed away last week and it's been a year since I seen him and didn't get to say goodbye!

I hate the fact that I always feel hungry and it's only because I'm bored!

I hate the fact that I'm just soo damn lazy!

Worse of all I hate the fact that this is low blow me week and everything had been going so well over the last few months.

and even worse then that....I hate the fact that in the end this was all my own doing! (minus my Papa passing away.) FAIL BALLS!

And lastly I hate the fact I'm sitting at a desk wanting to cry just because I want to cry!

MiZTaCCen - I'm so sorry for your loss!!! :hug:

I have some more to add:


I'm really upset because I FINALLY ordered some bras that fit me. I had to order them from the UK because bras where I live only come in a cup size B and they just make the band size smaller or larger (and that's pretty much the exact opposite of what I need in a bra!!!). Well, the stupid bras were supposed to arrive last friday (I paid extra for fast shipping because I really need them!!!) and custom sent them back to the UK! :mad: :devil: :sp::stress::tantrum::censored: Thankfully, the company has been great about it and resent them immediately once I called about the problem but I really need those bras and I ordered a new swimming suit that I've been desperately waiting for!

Ok, another complaint. I've been sick. I ate something bad this weekend and it's been giving me serious digestional issues (sorry for TMI). I haven't been able to eat a lot or exercise for a few days. I took some medicine and now I'm pretty much better BUT I'm seriously bloated even though the scale has dropped a couple of pounds. I'm about 1-2" bigger everywhere and I really want this to just go AWAY!!! :mad:

Runningfromfat - Thank you! and ugh I hate bras my boobs aren't big so if I don't need to wear one I won't usually unless I'm at work...but I can't get bras that fit me perfectly. They're either small or big never in between.