[xxkaleidoscopic]

I have struggled for a few years with eating disordered habits. That is, I was never diagnosed with an eating disorder, but my relationship with food and my drive to lose weight have been, in the past, nothing but unhealthy. And of all the times I've tried to lose weight, it only worked twice, including this time. And both times, it was done the healthy way!

That said, back in the day, I had a blog where I would track how much I ate, how much I exercised, and include a few blurbs about how I was feeling that day. I would surf around to view and comment other blogs, and what I saw there made me kind of sick. I'm talking "pro-ana" stuff. For those of you who don't know about the "pro-ana" movement on the internet, it's basically pages and pages of material dedicated towards a promotion of an "ana" or "anorexic" lifestyle. Tips and tricks on how to starve yourself, how to hide it. Images of emaciated young women. In fact, I saw one picture, once, of a girl who happened to have died just a few weeks after the picture was taken, of anorexia-related complications.

What I noticed about these types of blogs was that it was billed as a "support group", but could not have been more negative. Girls would count down the number of hours they fasted with pride, and go on a self-deprecating tirade if they failed. They would purge in fits of self-loathing. There were girls who regularly kept a calorie count of under five hundred. They encouraged each other to "stay strong", which of course, meant, "don't eat". To them, life as a "fat person" wasn't worth living, even though some of them were already well under 130 pounds, a respectable weight for someone of virtually any height.

I don't believe I was ever as bad as these girls. I knew they were very ill, and they were wrong. I liked to look at pictures of smaller girls for inspiration, and I still do, and I don't think there's anything wrong with that. But I hated seeing girls whose bones looked like they were about to burst through the skin - and inevitably, there would be captions under such pictures, like, "Oh, I wish I had her ribs!"

3FC is the first online community to which I have belonged that has actually been healthfully supportive. People here are encouraging. No one would dream of suggesting I just not eat today, or the next day. No one is ogling images of starving thirteen-year-olds, wanting to be like them.

It has been a long time since I regularly visited such sites, but today, the relationship between myself and these sites, versus myself and 3FC, kind of struck me. Amazing, how I'm losing weight with so much more ease and without feeling bad about myself, in a place where I can get healthy advice and share milestones in a place that is nothing but positive.

I thought I'd post this in the 20-somethings section, as I know that most of the young women who get caught up in this "pro-ana" nonsense tend to be around this age. I was wondering if any others have been there, and noticed this difference. And I guess I also just wanted to share. ^___^

[ahyessophie]

I had a bit of a fascination with pro-ana/mia sites when I was in high school. Not that was ever aspiring to be like them or anything, but I was intrigued by this kind of secret world they seemed to have. Then, it was more like a bunch of crazy rituals some "extreme" girls did. Now, it makes my stomach turn to read the way they talk about themselves and what they use as thinspiration for their weight loss.

I'm glad to hear you've found 3FC to be helpful and supportive, and that it's helping you towards a healthier life. It isn't hard to get sucked into the self-loathing when you're following websites with such detrimental messages.

[firefoxy]

I've never been anorexic, but I have surfed those sites -- like ahyessophie -- during high school, when that kind of thing seems "cool." I have to admit, I do look at pictures of thin celebrities as inspiration, but the celebs the pro-Ana sites choose for inspiration (thinspo) are CRAZY thin. Not at all at healthy weights. The diet "tips" are also almost uniformly unhealthy and impossible. I did try severe calorie restriction + exercise once and I lost weight very quickly, but it all came back right after. Not healthy and not worth it.

Slow, gradual, healthy loss is the best way. Plus, some exercise for strength and cardiovascular health. So, basically, what most of us here are doing . (Or trying to do!)

[SMSDREAMER2007]

Very well said! I thin we need a like button because I would like this post. I know that I have some friends who will try to lose weight the "pro-ana"way and wonder why I have issues losing weight "just don't eat, it will come off". Needless to say I nicely suggested to those friends that they get help and ended the relationship. I know they need my support but I can't be supportive of that.

[blueheron777]

As a psychiatric nurse, I am familiar with those sites. We had a lot of patients on the Child and Adolescent Service who followed their advice and got so sick that they were admitted to a locked psych ward where they had to follow strict eating rules to get out of gowns and wheelchairs.

Those sites advocate starving yourself to the point of no periods and heart muscle damage. They don't tell you that part--only the part about being super thin. Followers lose their healthy relationship with food and become obsessed, to their life long detriment.

3FC helps people get to a slim, healthy weight that can last a lifetime. You will look great, not elderly like the pro-Ana followers do.

[xxkaleidoscopic]

It seems to me that the followers are a mix of otherwise healthy girls who are looking for a quick fix, who will probably fail, and go back to life as is; and girls who are already sick, or who will get sick, and have/will develop a serious problem. I've seen both. The ones who would quit almost immediately when five days in, they were starving (though they'd always start again after a few binges), and the ones who had been at this for years, who weighed under 100 pounds, even though they might be as tall as 5'6" or something.

I totally get the fascination. It fascinates me to this day.

And FireFoxy, yeah, I totally get looking at healthy pictures. I look at pictures of girls with abs for inspiration - I'd love a nice four pack! But seeing spines poking out in sickening detail scares me...

[redliss7]

This stuff frustrates me. I was formerly bulimic in school and it really had more to do with my control/perfection issues than it did with weight. I was aware of these sites back then and it was crazy to me then as well. I think those sites are responsible for influencing young women who might not otherwise develop anorexia or ednos behaviors (because no one wants to be bulimic. its not glamorous or cool. its gross and sad. though they're all sad but...you know) because it glamorizes them as a way to fit in, be happy, and be beautiful. This is an attractive concept to someone who may not fit in well or is missing this ingredient. I think someone like that may never think of anorexia but then comes across a site with thinspo and joins a forum only to receive a blue print for a disease they never would have developed.

[Serbrider]

For about the past three or four years I aspired to be anorexic or bulimic. Never did... but I would spend hours searching information on how to make myself throw up, or how to stop eating without your parents finding out.

I was desperate... I felt as though... I could lose the weight by being so sick... by almost killing myself... then I could go to rehab... and be a bit normal again...

As if.

I still feel myself drawn towards it... but I know it's not healthy, that it could kill me. And I know that I could never do it... the not eating... maybe... but it took me nearly fainting and drinking tons of water to make me throw up... on accident... I just can't do so.

I've even looked into the chew and spit... but don't know how I'd hide the cup.

Something about it... I don't know. I've never done it... and when I actually think about it... I don't. But... I don't know. I really don't.

I want to be healthy. I want to be able to compete in Dressage... and I can't do that with wasting muscles... with no nutrition in me, etc. And that's what I love about 3FC... because it's not just about losing weight. Being healthy is a top priority here.

[xxkaleidoscopic]

Originally Posted by redliss7

This stuff frustrates me. I was formerly bulimic in school and it really had more to do with my control/perfection issues than it did with weight. I was aware of these sites back then and it was crazy to me then as well. I think those sites are responsible for influencing young women who might not otherwise develop anorexia or ednos behaviors (because no one wants to be bulimic. its not glamorous or cool. its gross and sad. though they're all sad but...you know) because it glamorizes them as a way to fit in, be happy, and be beautiful. This is an attractive concept to someone who may not fit in well or is missing this ingredient. I think someone like that may never think of anorexia but then comes across a site with thinspo and joins a forum only to receive a blue print for a disease they never would have developed.

I think that's true, yeah. I definitely attribute internet research to making me as bad as I was, even if I wasn't ever full-on starving. And when I was ready to quit, it dragged me right back in. It's incredible, like you said, how many girls might not be sick if not for that.

[kurisitaru]

This is going to sound stupid... I mean really dumb...
I watched this youtube video made by Shane Dawson (funny guy) about "Thinspiration" once. Shane Dawson use to be really fat then started to lose weight in the healthy way and then he started making youtube videos which earned him a little internet fame.
The video about "thinspiration" was extremely touching. It was about a character, Amy (who was comically played by Shane... as he plays all his characters), whose oh so popular ditched her because she was getting fat. She turned to "thinspiration" as the answer. Shane's character, named Shane, had a really touching moment with her in the end explaining what it was like to be fat... it was really cute.
It also added some humor to a very serious issue. I always like that. You guys might like to check it out.

I'll admit, I use to purge or spit food when I had a cookie. I would take it to the extremes and hate myself because I went 100 calories over for the day.
It's taken a lot for me to learn these are HORRID habits. I haven't purged in a loooOooong time. And... it feels great. Oddly, what stopped me was I was scared for my teeth and hair. o.O I wanted to look healthy and thin, not just thin. Who wants their ribs showing, their hair falling out, and their teeth decaying? I certainly don't.

[mya]

I'm so happy to read this thread and see that everyone knows how dangerous this stuff is. I was never diagnosed with an eating disorder but I remmember trying to throw up. And a few times I would find myself in a overeat-starve-overeat cycle. That gave me IBS and it's so bad that if I found out that the cure was to weigh 500 lbs I immediately would start eating 15000 cals everyday.
I read a thread not long ago here in 3FC in which someone was asking about being hungry on a diet with a decent amout of calories. A few people said that it's normal, you get used to it, that it's the feeling of fat melting. That very bad, pro-ana advice and it upset me very, very much.
I did not expect to see such misinformed people here, but I guess it's a open site and you're bound to find them occasionally.

[bargoo]

I find that sometimes when I think I am hungry I may actually be thirsty or even bored. I don't think you have to go hungry to be on a diet. If you eat healthy foods at regular times that shouldn't happen except for the normal hunger you will have when it is time for a meal.

[mimi86]

I've never had an ED but I spent my middle school and early high school years slightly overweight (140 lbs) as a poor girl in a small rich town constantly being teased for not being a little stick figure. While I never resorted to an eating disorder I dissociated myself from my negative body image somewhat, and as a result I have no concept of how I look, which can be good and bad--in the end I just don't go out very often and my negative body image (a combination of weight, skin quality and scoliosis) has kept me from some great experiences in my life.

I think what helped me avoid this track was to join a sport--any sport. Just stick with it. I hated team sports because I hated being teased for being fat and awkward, so I took up martial arts and it did wonders for my self esteem. Just about everyone who is a martial artist is a 'success story' because to me there is no other 'sport' that will guaranteed transform you from 0 to hero...even if you thought you were in good shape before. I stopped caring whether I was fat or thin, and combined with my blindness to my own appearance I completely took for granted that my body was to die for after 3 years of training and earning my black belt. I still avoided parties and shut myself indoors even though I was in the best shape I'd ever been in in my life. Fast forward 10 years and I'd do anything to have that body that I used to hate.

Even though I'm not training nearly as hard, I'm seeing my progress and feeling proud in a way I never did when I was an athlete. Back then my sense of achievement came from the belts I earned, and I took for granted the fact that I could do handsprings, vault over peoples' heads, run for miles, and had 18-20% body fat. Nowadays I feel a rush of confidence when I decide to push myself just a little further (one more lap! 10 more squats!) after a couple of weeks when running or lifting and I surpass my own expectations.

Girls who are young are unnecessarily hard on themselves, I think everyone knows this. It's all about self-love and knowing who you are and what you're capable of...and sadly a lot of these girls grow into women who are still 'lost' with no sense of identity. As a culture (at least in American/Western culture) we need to really make it a point to foster and nurture the growing personalities of little girls so that they don't define themselves by how they look.