I definitely hate them too. Because I don't know what guys consider "a few extra pounds" to be. Because I just got winked at by a guy who selected the 3 body types that I mentioned, so it's kind of like-- "what do you consider to be a few extra pounds if your interested in me?" lol

I'm 23 years old and I have definitely been in your shoes. And somewhat am in them right now...but I think I have grown to have the confidence that it doesn't really bother me anymore.

Honestly, guys don't understand our body sizes. They just see what they see and either are attracted or not. Sure, there will be some guys who are shallow and expect a Barbie, but I think you'd be surprised at how many guys find fuller figured girls attractive (and that they don't even really think about it!). I went on a date one time with a guy I met offline. I told him that I was overweight and he asked me "like what? like a size 10?" I told him flat out that if his idea of overweight was a size 10, we shouldnt meet lol. He apologized and admitted he was completely clueless about that stuff. When we met, he was attracted and he called afterwards to try to set up another date.

You have to decide that you are worth it. That you have a lot to offer. Take the physical attributes that you are most proud of and show them off. You may need to just take a few chances with guys you might not feel a huge amount of chemistry with (or their profiles aren't super amazing) just so that you get more practice with dating. I had to do that...and once I did I realized that every guy I had been on a date with had called afterwards (this was all with me between 240-260lbs). The guys weren't losers or crazy, I just didn't feel the chemistry like I have felt before. But, by taking those chances and just going through the experience, it really boosted my confidence.

I met my last serious boyfriend through the "simply platonic" section of craigslist. I wasn't looking for anything at the time. It just kind of happened and I'm starting to think that I need to just be patient and stop looking. Make yourself available and try to meet new groups of people, but take it for what it is and just enjoy it without trying to find your next relationship.

I don't know what your original question was, but I'm guessing its about a dating site. I am probably on that site as well lol, but so far those things haven't worked for me. I think I'm going to give up on them soon. I do know people, though, who have met their bf/gf on those things. So....we shall see.

Thanks for the advice, somethingnew912. I guess I can't expect everything to be perfect right off the bat, and that I need to get some experience under my belt. I'm also still trying to understand the concept of "dating", part of the reason that I put off meeting some of these guys right away is because I felt like if I hung out with them, then I was committing to them. But the whole point of dating is to kind of experiment and see what you like/don't like and just get to know a variety of personalities and which works best for you, right? Also, is it true that it is ok to date multiple guys at once? I've heard mixed responses to that, so I'm just curious. (this is all new to me...)

I would start by just going on a few *dates* with guys who interest you. Either you click or you don't, but you are very right that you will learn a lot about what you like as well as learn how to interact better in those situations.

As far as dating more than one person at a time.....if you get along with a couple of guys I would say its okay to go on a few dates with them, but once topics get more serious or you get physical, I would decide which one you really want to give a fair shot. If you aren't looking for the possibility of something serious, then just let them know within the first few dates. At least that's my view on dating multiple people at once...I've never done that really, though.

It's perfectly fine to go on dates with more than one guy at a time, but most people tend to just "date" one person :-P So basically, play the field and go on dates with as many people as you want. You'll know when you want to settle down with just one :)

When I had an OKC profile I would cheat and put "curvy" as my body type. Then when I would start messaging back and forth with some guys it was really more the interests and the things we had in common that was important. I did mention to one guy, who was really skinny because of a medical condition, that I was a fair amount overweight for my height also because of a medical condition (I have PCOS) and that I was working to better my health. We ended up going on a date and it was really nice! A few of the other guys I met didn't seem to be bothered at all by my weight, either.

Don't be shy, you never know what might happen. You'll find someone where you least expect it :)

One other thing to take the stress off dating...write a list of activities you want to do, things you want to see and restaurants you want to try in your neck of the woods. Then, when you do go on a date you can suggest something from your list. Even if you don't like the guy or you two don't "click" you still get to do something you wanted on your list. I'm all about multi-tasking. :D

Thanks everyone. I wish it was that easy though to go on dates with a couple different guys who interest me, problem is, they don't respond to my messages. Also, I couldn't really cheat, because I have (almost) a full body pic on my profile :/ This one attached, to be exact, so it kind of ruined it for me I guess lol

I am going out with the guy, who I had mentioned in my original post, this week though, so I guess we'll see how that works out. If there's no chemistry, then at least I gained some valuable experience.

Thats a great picture! keep it on there :)

Dont give up on anything yet, your very young!! I met my man on Cupid...going on 7 years ago. I seen his picture (terrible picture of him by the way) and i couldnt stop going back to it! i sent him a message or two until he responded and once he did. MAGIC!

So you NEVER know ... Ever! If something will happen or not, just put yourself out there, go find hobbies, just get yourself out there and when its meant to happen it will :)

Hey I didn't get to see the original post but I just wanted to wish you luck! :)

I met my amazing boyfriend on Match this past summer... I was about 210 lbs, and he had just lost over 40 lbs using P90x... needless to say, I was so hesitant on meeting him because he was "in shape" and I'm... well, not! lol But I sucked it up (I often would not respond to men I thought were too in shape to like me in person), met him and it was pretty much literally love at first sight! He loves me no matter what my weight is... he is deployed right now but knows I am doing WW and working out and he has told me many times via email that he supports anything I want to do but he will love me no matter what. :)

Again, good luck! Enjoy dating! :)

Unfortunately, I've done that too. I would exclude "athletic and toned" guys from coming up in my searches with the fear that I had no chance of ever having a guy in that good of shape liking me, and that I would feel too self conscious to be with them. I have recently changed my search criteria, and have surprisingly found some guys who are "athletic and toned" and (based on their profiles) have "no preference" for their partner's weight, which made me feel a little better.

Definitely! I really have learned that men aren't as hung up on weight as I assumed. I'm sure there are some shallow ones, but the good ones don't exclude a good person because they might weigh more than "average." :)

So...I think I'm going to take a break from looking for a guy right now. I'm having no luck, and ever since me and that guy agreed to hang out, he hasn't been talking to me, so thats probably not going to work. It's just frustrating because I had this 1 guy who winked at me, and I initiated contact, and he never replied...so it definitely sucks. But I think that I'm just going to take a break, concentrate on school and losing weight, and go back to it when I'm more comfortable with my weight and more confident, because this being ignored thing is really frustrating me, because it just keeps bringing everything back to my weight. It's just unfortunate, because I guess all I'm really looking for is someone to befriend and talk to right now, but that's not working out either.

One thing to remember: If he doesn't have a paid account, he can't read your email or reply! :) Don't get too discouraged about that, especially if he already winked at you!

BUT, there's nothing wrong with taking a break either. Take time to focus on you, and go back to the dating world when you're ready! :) Your perfect guy is out there!

He does have a paid account, because he was available for IM. I guess he's just into sending mixed signals! lol