[MiniMo]

Hello everyone, this is my first return to the forums in almost two years, which makes sense, since that's about how long I've been in a relationship.

I've never been skinny (not past the age of 7) and I've never been in the obesity range, but I have always, always hated my body. I'm also Asian, so what is considered "normal" range for a lot of people goes against the stereotype of Asian girls all being tiny and beautiful. I am not that. My sister, for example, at 4'11" and ~100lbs considers herself "chubby," another sister is taller than me and ~106lbs, with an amazing body. (She also has one of those metabolisms that allow her to eat EVERYTHING in HUGE amounts ) Next to these two I'm the fatty of the family - which my parents take every opportunity to remind me. Even my loving grandma tells me I'm too wide!

Anyway, I met someone who thought I was perfect just the way I was and finally made me feel beautiful for the first time in my life. However, as a result, as I grew to love and accept myself, my waistline started growing without my noticing! I love food. I will always love food. But I also stopped caring about exercise. I stopped being so careful about what I was eating. He loves McDonald's and KFC and junk food and would ask me to eat these things with him because he got sick of me fixing my own meals. He ate crap, so I ate crap. And I didn't care! I didn't punish myself for it, I didn't feel guilty about it, I was just happy. But before you know it, I gained 20+ lbs, which may not seem like much, but I also gained almost 10 inches on my waist.

I'm ready and motivated to start my journey all over again, and maybe reach that goal that I've never been able to. My wake-up call was actually when my bf suggested that I lose some weight (he said it in the perfect way, "I think you're the most beautiful thing in the world no matter what, but you could be so much hotter...")

But it seems really sad to me that being happy made me gain the weight. It makes my body ugly to me again, just when I was forging a healthy relationship with it. Don't get me wrong, I don't hate it anymore, and I'm not going to go to extreme lengths to get down to those "ideal" weights (I have had this problem in the past), I just need to find that happy medium of loving my body and being motivated to change it.

Anybody with similar experiences/thoughts on body image issues? I'd love to hear them.

[Annita]

being an asian myself, i totally understand what you've been through.
My aunts used to constantly remind me that I'm fat and wide and need to lose weight, well even though consider to the rest of the world i'm perfectly normal, but to asian standard i'm consider huge.

Anyways, i'm so glad you found someone who loves you. You can still enjoy bad food with him, but learn to make it healthier. Like a hamburger isn't really bad without all the dressing, and french fried and huge cola, or a salad can always be nice when you eat them without dressing. So that way love won't make you gain weights. (Oh I know because i've been in your shoes >"<)

Besides, workout. Workout makes you look much thinner and healthier while having a higher weight.

Good luck and best wishes.