Need some motivation
 

I came back here and my last visit was 8/27, which is mostly because, after a good first week of being mostly on plan, I immediately fell off the wagon for the 2nd, 3rd, and 4th. And I feel like this is what I always do. I make a commitment to go back to weight loss because I feel so miserable all the time about things that are related to my weight and then I make excuses for not going to the gym or for binging on chips or whatever and jump off the cliff.

My excuses this time? Well, school just started back, and I am graduating this semester. So (1) I have like, literally, 400+ pages per week to read (I'm an English major with a religious studies minor) (2) I am finishing the honors program, which for me as a creative writing concentration, means writing a novella for my thesis project (3) I am applying to grad school and since I am a December graduate rather than a May graduate, I am scrambling to get things like recommendations from teachers and official transcripts and people to read over a statement of purpose that hasn't even been written yet (3) I also am looking for a job because, whether or not I get in/go to grad school, I have to have a job for nine months until I can start a program next fall (4) I am involved with a group on campus and trying to be involved with another that is related to my major so I have meetings and events with those (5) I am also in a book club. That I started. And I'm on like page 15 out of 600 for the book I need to have read in two weeks. (6) I have a boyfriend. So a lot of the time not spent at school or on school-related things is spent with him. (7) I have a job that I am slowly starting to hate even though I really enjoyed for a long time. Things have changed there and I'm sick of it. Especially since I can't even decide if the little money I get is worth it versus having zero income. (8) I have to sleep. When talking to my boyfriend about all of this, he said he'd had semesters like this where he just had to pull all-nighters a few times per week. I really can't physically do it. I just fall asleep at some point and I don't retain any information.

But at the same time, I know everyone has a hectic life and many people with such lives still manage to exercise once per day and eat healthy. I know that nothing I say means that I can't lose weight. I know that I can. But it seems so difficult in light of all the other difficult things I'm doing.

So, anyway, I hope that tomorrow morning when my alarm clock goes off at 8 that I will get out of bed, put on my sweats, and walk over to the gym and have a good work out. I hope that I will resist the temptation of the PCJ located right next to all of my classes and instead eat all of the healthy things I bring with me to have throughout the day. I hope I can do all of the other things I need to do. But, most importantly, I hope I can also accomplish these things on Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, and so on until I reach my weight loss goal along with all of my other goals.

But it kind of seems impossible right now.

It's not impossible. You just have to make the decision that for you, that is the way your life is going to be. You're going to eat healthily and you're going to try to exercise as often as you can. And then you do it. You fit it in around the other stuff you've got going on (I know it is hard) and you just do it.
Congratulations on coming back here and realising that you weren't doing what you wanted to be doing and for making another step in the right direction toward change!

Thank you for the encouragement. I had a good workout this morning though I did have to step on the scale to find that I am still gaining. My goal this week is to just not gain. I would love to lose 2lbs, which is usually my weekly goal, but if I can just not gain anymore, I think I will be satisfied.

Hang in there! With how busy you are, don't give yourself permission to give up just because you can't be "perfect." If you don't have a lot of time to exercise, you can still focus on making smart choices with your eating.

I've learned the hard way that no matter what, losing weight is more about what's going on inside my head... not the circumstances of my life. I've been really busy and thought it would be easier when I had less to do... I've also been super non-committed and thought it would be easier to resist food when I had more going on.

No matter what, just don't give up! You can do it.