Hi everyone.

I have to apologise beforehand about the fact that this may just be another self pitying rant but i really do need some advice from someone who knows what this is all like and about!
First of all I am new here. I have been a lurker for a very long time and have been constantly battling to lose weight. As it stands I have about 80lbs to lose. It started off with being two stone which i dropped about half of, then put double that back on, did the same and the same again. I recently tried to lose this weight but only lost about half a stone and gave up. I now can't even bear to look at myself in the mirror and wear the same clothes day in and day out because nothing fits me. I have loads of lovely clothes i used to wear that look so small now but I felt so fat in them at the time. This time last year i was the smallest i had been in a long time and i felt so much better and more confident and was wearing pretty dresses and skirts and i used to enjoy going out with my friends for a dance and a drink, now I feel so self concious i sit in a jumper (yes a black zippie jumper in a nightclub) and i don't enjoy going out at all. i usually make an excuse and leave within the hour.

I am stuck in a rut well and truly. I was told that there would come a time that i would really want to lose the weight and i would do it..well i really do and have for the last 5 years but have never managed to lose it and stay there.

I would like some adice about how to get myself out of this depression basically, i sit and look at my clothes and just cry! how bad is that...I don't want to go outside even to the shops for 5 mins because i feel so cr*ppy in my clothes and feel like everyone is looking and judging me.

I need a kick up the backside maybe but any advice and help is appreciated. I really feel hopeless right now.

I hope someone can help. Thank you

x

First of all.. Welcome!

You have come to a very supportive place. There are lots of girls who are or have been in your shoes. I suggest finding a thread on here that you enjoy like the daily chat and post every single day. It really helps me stay accountable.

You say you lost weight and put double back on a few times (been there). This suggests to me that either you were not losing the weight in a healthy way or you were not losing it for the right reasons.

You have to look at this as a lifestyle change. It's not a temporary "diet" that will magically make you skinny again and then you can go back to all of your same old habits. This is how I looked at dieting for YEARS, and it is exactly why it's safe to say I'm a "yo yo-er"

Do you have a plan? Are you exercising? If not, get a plan. And then tell the ones close to you about your plan. And tell them to keep you accountable. Tell them you need their support and tell them what you need from them in order to be successful.

I wish you luck, and hope to see you around more often!

Hey!

Firstly, I want to say that I don't think your post is self-pitying at all! Most, if not all of us here, have gone through or are going through what you're going through. So we've been there, girl!

In high school I weighed between 160-170 lbs and even though I couldn't wear everything I wanted to wear, I loved my clothes and looked nice in them. I could still wear "normal-sized" clothing for teens. Now I'm 21 and have gained about 40 lbs since then. At first I didn't want to admit that I couldn't wear my old clothes anymore. I didn't even want to think about having to shop for the larger sizes. (I went from wearing a large to a XXL in shirts). Now I've come to terms with it and realized that young, fashionable clothes exist for us, too - especially online! And a lot of them ship internationally. You just have to know where to look. If you need help with that, let me know! There's also a section here dedicated to clothing for girls our size.

I also want to second what Casey said. Losing weight and maintaining it is a lifestyle change, not just a diet, and you definitely need a plan. I think it's important that you identify the factors that are keeping you overweight so that you can work on them. For me, that means no more eating late at night, for example. It wasn't just snacks that I was eating at 1 or 2 in the morning - I'm talking whole meals! I'm already seeing results just from eliminating that bad habit alone. I also realized that my activity level wasn't near as high as it should be. I now exercise at least 30 mins a day, 5-6 times a week. Even if I may not immediately see the results from these things physically, I already feel more confident because I know that what I'm doing is making a difference and I'll soon start to see it.

Also, make sure the changes you make are healthy and sustainable. For example, eating very few calories a day to lose weight isn't healthy or sustainable. Most people who do that end up binging because they've been depriving themselves; then they end up gaining all of their weight back. You might want to seek some professional advice if you're not sure about your diet. There's also some good advice here and I would also agree that posting here helps keep you accountable and motivated. Good luck. You can do it!

Hey thank you for your replies.

I am going to seriously plan this all out as that seems to help in everything else i do. I like being organised!
My problem i think is that I want to wake up one day thin and gorgeous but it wont work like that. I need to start looking after myself I know. I don't feel like a female any more just like this gender less blob! I don't do my make up any more, some days i don't even bother brushing my hair. what a state to get in!

Can you guys tell me like what you feel is the most useful/important thing you did to start losing the weight and keep doing it.

Thank you for your advice. It is really appreciated and to know others have/are going through the same things

Hi! Welcome I'm pretty new to posting here as well. I can totally relate to just hating my body and feeling awful about my situation. I have been there, more than a few times.

The single most important thing I do to keep going is to catch myself saying negative things or being down on myself.... and then I go and get right back on the treadmill or fitness class.

For me, at least, NOTHING is more empowering than that feeling of getting myself in shape. Regardless of whether or not I see physical changes I always am SO proud of myself for putting in the effort. And inevitably I DO see the physical changes. Sometimes (usually) later rather than sooner.

Best wishes and thanks for sharing

i have just gotten myself out of where you are, and i know what im going to say will sound silly, but it helped me to start with

make yourself feel good EVERY day. For me this meant dragging my *** out of bed early to get my hair and make up done before going to work, and yes, picking my outfit i have mountains of clothes but very few that make me feel *nice* so i rarely wore those ones, they were for special occasions. now, i consider every day a special occasion, because i deserve to feel nice, so i wear the dresses and the fancy tops to work, and i feel better for it. (plus, i plan to be too small for them soon, so may as well get the wear while i can)

add to that, i always feel bad eating a massive portion of cake or chips if im all prettied up, but thats just me

If you have a problem with staying on plan, I do have a few suggestions.

I've gone off plan before and I noticed I had stopped weighing myself. I stopped because I knew I was being bad. Luckily I only gained about 6 or so pounds back over the four months of eating bad and not exercising.

To keep me on track, I weigh myself daily. When I've lost all the weight, I plan on doing this still so that I can make sure I'm not gaining any back. Being self aware of yourself is the best way to stop things from getting out of control.

For the depression, I found I was making myself happy by eating bad foods. I had to change the way I thought about that. I had to make myself remember how much worse I felt after eating those foods. Now I associate positive eating with positive feelings, and if I want something bad I remind myself that I may feel horrible later. I still slip up with little things, but not full out binges like before.

Exercise is key! I started working out 3-4 times a week and just kinda doing what I felt like at the gym for about an hour. Once I got into weight lifting almost two months ago I started enjoying it more. The reason why is because weight lifting with proper nutrition has helped me lose more weight quicker, and shape my body in a wonderful way that running just couldn't do.

For accountability, check in here everyday! Go to one of the accountability threads. I've gone from the 190's threads and now I'm finally in the 150's. It's not instant, it takes time, but stick around and talk with us. Weigh in daily with us so we can all support each other.

This is what has worked for me, sorry for the long post, a lot of what you said rings true to me. I used to cry infront of the mirror and I had to get determined to make a lifestyle change!

I track every single calorie at mydailyplate.com Some people don't count calories but I have found it is the only way I can stay on plan with my food. Seeing what I've eaten and how many calories I consumed right there on the computer screen will keep me from eating that late night snack every time.

Also, like I said before. Keep posting on here. Even if you feel like you are getting repetitive sometimes. These girls will be your rock and your motivators. I promise.

Thank you everyone :-) I'm going to find some threads to join in with. You'll all be sick at the sight of me

Perfect! For me, planning is key! As you go on, you will learn what plans work for you and what doesnt and thats kinda tricky because no one can really tell you what will work for you. But if you make a plan at least you have something to review later.

I'll say! Its a bit of a spiral- feel fat and blob like, dont take care of self, feel more fat and unattractive, feel worse, take less care of self, feel worse, harder to lose weight, feel worse...Looks like a good start is taking care of yourself! Do your makeup and hair, let yourself feel good about how you look today. Dont keep punishing yourself for past mistakes I do that, its a miserable place

I think planning, calorie counting, and having minigoals really helps me. I may go over the top, but i have spreadsheets etc for food, weight, food plans for each day of the week etc as well as logging on sparkpeople.com! But logging little things helps me have minigoals and see progress which helps

No problem! It's good to know that you're finding our advice useful.

I think the main thing that is responsible for my success so far both physically and mentally is exercise - and I enjoy it. That's something I never thought I'd say, but it's true! I used to feel so unmotivated and never thought I'd be someone who would exercise on a regular basis, but once I finally found the motivation to do it (and this is only since last week!), I found that it makes me feel so much better because I know that I'm doing something great for myself and that, soon, I'll look amazing and be able to wear amazing clothes again.

Plus, I figured that if I'm going to suffer, I would much rather suffer because my body parts are screaming while I exercise my way to a better body, than to suffer because I'm feeling depressed about being fat while doing absolutely nothing about it. That put it all in perspective for me.

And these forums have also been helpful even though I've only been posting for a short while. You'll feel sooo welcome in any thread you post in. Posting my progress (or setbacks!) here and getting involved in challenges definitely helps me stay accountable and motivated. When/if you do have setbacks, this site will motivate you to keep going.