whenever you post a thread in another forum, all you are faced with is objection. I have posted several posts in the past, barely my naked insecurities and looking for positive feedback but am met with harsh criticism from people who know nothing about me or use my blog to throw things in my face.
I'm a little sensitive right now so I realize this probably won't be received well either but I didn't know if anyone else has had a bad experience elsewhere.
You just have to remember that there are A LOT of people who hide behind their keyboards and think that they have the right to be rude, mean, and cruel just b/c they CAN hide behind their keyboards. As my grandfather would say "they are to be pitied." Don't let it get you down, girl...keep your head up.
I agree with people hiding behind their keyboards, and some of them may be attacking you for their own insecurities. Don't let internet bullies get you down.
I don't know about this forum in particular, but I'm sure everyone has had a bad experience on some forum. Some people may also be trying to give you tough love, and hope you excel from their criticisms, but some people may not be, and it's those that you can't worry about.
I asked about cleanses once and got laughed at by everyone that replied.
I liked it when I had done one, I felt like I had more energy, and I just wanted to know if others had done them before. I know our body's naturally cleanse themselves, but what I did felt like a flush and I felt really good after.
But yeah, I got it pretty bad, haha. Oh well. I didn't take it to heart.
whenever you post a thread in another forum, all you are faced with is objection. I have posted several posts in the past, barely my naked insecurities and looking for positive feedback but am met with harsh criticism from people who know nothing about me or use my blog to throw things in my face.
I'm a little sensitive right now so I realize this probably won't be received well either but I didn't know if anyone else has had a bad experience elsewhere.
I'm still pretty new to this forum, so I haven't really noticed that yet. And I think I have been lucky with weight loss groups- the one I was a member at before was filled with amazing and supportive ladies. There were the occasional "hot topic" threads that could lead to hurt feelings- but I tended to just avoid those.
In other types of online forums though- YIKES! Look out!! People can and will get very nasty, catty, judgmental- you name it- when they can hide behind their keyboard. It used to upset me a lot, or bring out my own argumentative side- until I finally decided it just wasn't worth it and started ignoring the drama.
I think some people put a guard up and maybe they arent meaning it to be rude but you take it that way.
I have been around here for awhile and yes I sometimes get irritated with people... people who post the same things... the same "I cant lose weight story" every week... Those kinds of things irritate me because I've worked really hard... they irritate me because I know that it can be hard but I know that it can be done. Sometimes you want to be like the anti-jared and just be mean and rude to people... and tell them to just do it... Maybe thats not the right response but it happens...
Also if you have a blog and post then you're putting your struggles and failures out there for other people to critique and judge.... if in your blog you do the same things over and over again and then complain people aren't going to feel sorry for you...
It is about actively changing your life not passively letting it pass you by. It is about dedication to a program and making the conscious choice and effort to follow your program even when it really sucks and gets really hard.
I also think that when you put stuff on the internet you are met with both positive and negative responses..the world doesnt agree on every issue therefore some people will feel one way about it whereas someone else will feel a different way and by putting it online and asking for responses you open yourself up to both. I haven't always gotten positive responses to things I have said but I however try to not let it affect me, because in the end they really dont know you and they arent trying to be mean to you as a person they just might feel one way about something you're doing.
I too agree with Haley though, sometimes when i see several threads being started by people who post they are frustrated and want to give up on their diet because they're not losing the weight fast enough I get irritated and i will admit sometimes I get snappy because everyone should know the weight will not come off as quickly as if came on.
I only stay in a few of the threads here, i don't really go anywhere else. And I hope it gets better for you! I wont be mean, i promise! And sometimes, people just want to give you their opinion if it be harsh, negative or positive. I don't say this to be mean, but if you ask for help advice here you'll get all three!!
Thanks for posting this, Shelley. I posted something in another forum (on another Web site) and someone replied over the weekend. I'm still upset about it today. It actually wasn't that harsh, but it was disrespectful of my...history, I guess.
I think that people do hide behind their keyboards, absolutely, and there are a lot of mean people in the world. I also think that there are a lot of nice people, too, but even they can take something wrong or reply out of context.
I know that I've come across this issue a few times as well. I agree that many hide behind their keyboards. I find it hard to not shoot back a response with the same attitude they give and I usually let it go or thank them for the input. Kill them with kindness right!? Lol.
My rule of thumb: for every negative person, there are at least 5 other helpful and supportive people on here. I know how discouraging it can be. Maybe stick to the groups you feel comfortable in. Hope this helps
I've seen this a lot less at 3FC than on other boards, that's for sure. The moderators definitely try to keep this a safe environment. That said, sometimes when you post in a public forum, other people may see things differently than you and share their perspective on your situation. It's just sort of a byproduct of being in an environment with a variety of people coming from different places.
Sometimes it can help to state what you're asking for (for example, "I need some encouragement right now"). No, it won't keep everyone from expressing other perspectives, but it can help clue others into what you need, and increase your chances of getting it. Something to try, anyway. A lot of times, people post a problem and get responses on "how to fix it", when all they wanted was a "hang in there"...but members who ask directly for a "hang in there" seem more likely to get it, most of the time.
If something crosses the line from "disagreement" to "bashing", the mods do try to take action, but we do miss things as well. If you like, you can report a post you find crosses the line by clicking the red exclamation point at the bottom left of the post.
I think it's really easy to judge what others are doing wrong even while we struggle with our own battles. But, I am grateful to have found this place because most of the critiques come out of a genuine desire to help each other. I just try to ignore posts, posters or threads I find annoying or depressing.
Shelley, I was subscribed to the other thread where posters hurt your feelings (b/c I might have the same medical issue). While I don't disagree with their advice, I do feel badly for you. Not pity, just empathy. After suffering through a period of time where I couldn't see the light, I realize that everyone copes the best they can. We all sometimes take the road more familiar even if it's actually the harder one fraught with failure. And please keep on blogging, chickie! Even if you glorify or make a joke out of your addiction to food, you ARE honestly expressing your problem, which is a huge step in the right direction.
I've experienced this. And I wondered if I was the only one, so thanks for your post!
I've really enjoyed 3FC and I have a LOT of respect for the members here. That being said, sometimes there is a clique-y vibe on some of the other boards. I just always remind myself that some of these folks have been posting here for years and know each other better and have more experience. Also, I think sometimes people make the assumption that when you are new AND young, you are somewhat ignorant and inexperienced, which is very often way off base. I might be only 24, but I've been fat and trying to lose weight for like....my whole life, give me some credit! Lol.
And I think you'll find that there are certain people who will disagree with you no matter WHAT you say and others who will embrace and support you just as easily. It's just like real life...there are some people who are just grouchy old buttheads and others who are awesome! Lol.
Do you ever feel like...
