When is enough really ENOUGH?
 

When I was a size 22 I use to tell myself all the time that If I was only a size 12 I would look amazing and be completely satisfied with my body... WRONG. Here I am in that size 12 and I still feel FAT! I know you all say our minds need to catch up with our bodies, but I can still look in the mirror and just be disgusted at my body. I'm covered in stretch marks and cellulite and jiggly even after hours and hours of strength training. Granted I don't hate EVERYTHING, but I just feel like Its not the body I had imagined.

I remember having a pair of 16s and looking at them and thinking they looked soooo tiny compared to my 22s and telling myself that I would look great in a 16 that came and went and here I am almost at goal and I still feel like the fat girl in the room. I still nit pick everything I still look at other women and wish to be that small. I don't know If i ever will see myself as "thin." When do we stop and just be happy with the way we look? I know I will probably never be a size 6, but when is enough really enough? I just want to feel normal!

I feel that. My biggest pair of jeans were a size 16, now I'm between an 8 and a 10 (which is about what my mom is). I always said while it wasnt' my "goal" I'd be so happy at her size...and for the most part I am...but I still feel kinda fat (especially during TOM, I mean who doesn't?). Some days I feel "skinny". My stomach feels flat and I feel less jiggly. For the most part though, my arms and legs are pretty good, but I'm an apple and my weight is in my stomach and chest and I just...blegh.

If I didn't lose any more weight it wouldn't be a tragedy, but I don't feel done yet. I think it's normal and not unhealthy to have a few things you'd like to improve. I'm happy as I am. I fit clothes I like for the most part and I don't feel "big". Would I like to lose more? Yes, but it's okay if I don't. I really believe you'll know (unless you have some serious body dysmorphia) when you're at a good weight for you. Keep looking at pictures and pay attention to how different parts of your body look. I'm sure we'll both find our happy weight. :)

I hate to break it to you but some of us will never feel adequate. I've lost over 80lbs 7 years ago I'm now borderline under weight yet I still feel fat. Hopefully you can learn to adjust and ignore those feelings like I have. Good luck.

I'm having the same issue. I thought I'd feel amazing at a 10, and an 8 was just kind of a nebulous dream. Now I'm a size 8, and I still feel fat. I'm working towards a 6 . . .

Pammy, first of all, I think that you look beautiful! I've seen pictures of you and, in fact, they inspired me SO much when I first started my journey because I compared our heights and weights etc.

The grass is always greener on the other side. Instead of comparing yourself to what you looked like before, you're now comparing yourself to how you want to look, how you think you should look. I know; I'm doing the same thing.

The right clothes do wonders. My stomach will never be flat without surgery. Period. I don't care what anyone says, I don't care how clean I eat, how much I work out, there's just too much skin there. In *some* clothes, it looks totally flat (in others; not so much lol). It's incredible. Like I said, I've seen your pictures and if you have any body flaws, you already know how to hide them because you look incredible ;)

Here's hoping all of us can learn to accept our flaws, just like regular people who have never been obese (because you KNOW they too have body issues, right?!)
:hug:

I totally know that feeling - even before I gained all my weight, when I was fairly thin, I always felt like there were improvements that needed to be made.

But now, when I look back at pictures of myself 20, 30, 50 pounds lighter, I cannot understand why I was unhappy with the way I looked. Frankly, I looked awesome. I'm now looking forward to getting back to that weight again, and I hope if there is one thing I get out of this journey, it's to love my body no matter what it looks like. Being at the weight I am now - and seeing pictures of myself at my lightest when I thought I had so much work to do - has really shown me that I am way too hard on myself. We are all our own worst critics - you may see jiggly thighs or cellulite or whatever - but it's very likely that you are the only one noticing.

I guess the bottom line is that we have to learn to love our bodies - including the problem areas - but as women in today's society, well....it's hard.

jkinboston- Thank you so much! I just wish I knew the magic answer but we all know there isn't a magic answer to anything :(

I honestly think you just set really high expectations for yourself. I think you look fantastic and gorgeous.

We are our own worst enemy, and I think you're seeing things that aren't there. For example, I never used to dislike my features, and then someone told me that I have a "black nose" (their words, not mine). This person then went on to say that they don't believe me when I say that I'm white and that basically they think I'm multiracial. Before I never gave it much thought, but now, I am starting to obsess over it. I see something that wasn't there before and most likely isn't there. Now it's all I can think about.

Anyways, maybe someone made a passing comment that made you think differently. I don't have the best word of advice. But only that what you're seeing, other people don't. I wish I knew when to be happy with your weight but I've still got about 65 lbs to lose.

I feel the same way - I'm a UK size 8 now but my thighs still look enormous... and my arms aren't toned, and my tummy seems to want to be in front of my chin unless I suck it in... But I'm not going to lose any more weight than this because I just won't be able to maintain it, nor will I be able to find clothes to fit me, so I'm trying to train myself to be happy with it. I reckon that's the secret - be happy with what you have, because there's always someone thinner, prettier, with bigger hair and more money, blah blah blah. And you know, I look around sometimes and see women obviously bigger than me who look fricking gorgeous.

Whatever you have, rock it. It's the only way!

I have the same issues. I thought I would be happy when I hit weight X, then when I get there, there is noting to be happy about. I am now at my lowest adult weight, and not far away from the weight I was in high school, and I'm not happy at all.

Then again, I wasn't happy in high school when I wasn't overweight, I wasn't happy when I was 8 and thought I was fat, I've never been happy. So maybe it's me and not my weight that is the problem?

Right now I think that when I get my tummy tucked, I'll be happy, but after that it will be my boobs, my thighs, my wings...

I feel the same way, which is why I lowered my goal weight and turned my view point from the scale - to fitness goals. I'm training for a half marathon. I feel that once I'm able to do that - I'll feel confident and proud of myself :) Hopefully, we'll see.

Yes - it does take time, I think we have to do extra work on our selves inside compared to everyone else. We have a lot of self esteem to build back up. Loosing weight really plays a lot of mind games with you. Especially that fear of going back, that's my biggest fear.

I wonder if there are any books out there for all of us? I'm going to do some research when I get home from work tonight.

I think alot of it has to do with the entertainment society. They always hire the skinny actors & models then they have to go & photo shop them to be even smaller then what they really are. Even when we go shopping for clothes most of the departments use skinny mannequins, I was glad to see some stores start using bigger mannequins to model the clothes.

I know for me I will see someone who is my size & think they look good but when I look in the mirror is a whole different story.

God, seriously.

I remember craving JUUUUST to be down to the size I'm at now (my lowest adult weight actually - only been this size one other time in my life).... and now that I'm at it...? It's so not good enough!

Argh!

I know how everyone feels. I remember being a tight 16 at 226 and being like "okay, if I could just get down to 185 or a size 10, I'd be so happy", well, both have come and gone. I'm only a little under 185 but I'm an 8 now and sometimes I feel enormous, not quite what I was going for. I find it comes in waves. Like sometimes I'll feel great and then I'll see one picture at a weird angle or something and all of the sudden its over and I start feeling like I'm back at square one. I've already moved that goal weight twice. I feel as I close in on it, it may go to 160 maybe 150 or maybe I'll just be satisfied.lol.

Pammy, you do look amazing, and you're such an inspiration, but only you can make yourself happy with you :) I'm getting kind of sick of people telling me OMG YOU'RE SO SKINNY WHY ARE YOU LOSING MORE WEIGHT. Well, 1) I'm not "skinny" and 2) because its my personal goal, stop trying to put your two sense in.

I have a confession to make - I didn't go into this with a particular goal. I had a rough estimate that maybe I'd try to get to 170/160 and see if I was happy, but that's only because I was that weight in high school and was okay with myself. I'm currently hovering between 167 and 169, and to be honest, I'd be fine if I didn't lose any more lbs, but just toned up. Yeah, its still 20 ish lbs above a "normal weight" for my height - but I'm healthy.

I think you'll get to a point when you know you're happy. When you stop thinking OH MY GOD I JUST HAVE TO GET RID OF 5 MORE LBS and you'll be happy with what you see :)