Just needed to vent a little
 

Argh! Don't you just hate it when people are so 'negative'... I don't even think I can call it negativity:?: So someone offers you something, and you graciously decline saying that you're on a diet... And then you get that "half look-half smirk":mad: Implying 'yeah right, like that's gonna work!'... So much for support!!

I usually just decline with no reason. Just happened last week when my teacher offered me a piece of candy. I said no thank you and she made a weird face but i said I was sure, and she shrugged and walked away

Yeah, I've learned not to make it about "diet." People react strangely when you start talking about making positive changes in your life. I either just decline and change the subject before they can ask why, or I say I just ate, or I say my stomach is feeling a little sensitive so I'm being careful of what I eat for the day. Works better that way.

So no talk about diet? Got it

I vote for the grraciously decline answer. There really is no need to explain why you don't want that piece of candy or cake or pie or whatever. Notice what naturally thin people do, they never explain why they only eat a half a sandwich or two bites of pie , and others accept that is the way they are.

It's not like i'm telling complete strangers that i'm on a diet... not even colleagues! My own family, a cousin to be precise... I think family should be supportive in a way... but i could be wrong

People or strange. I think a lot of people are negative about anything positive in someone else's life. Maybe it is just our human nature. Family members should be supportive, but honestly sometimes they are the worst!

I say shrug it off, be proud of yourself for resisting, and keep up the good work! It is tuff to say no and tuff to stay OP in the face of resistance! Good job girl!

This is what I do... then I don't explain more.

i took the diet word out of my dictionary. if people ask I just tell them I like to eat healthy clean foods and that sugary processed foods suck

yeah I get this all the time. I live with my bf family and the support just isn't there. I tell them i want to go on a diet and eat better, but they continue to make really bad food, and if I want to make something healthier, they get offended that Im not eating their foods they cook.

:hug:

No, you're right! People, especially family members, should absolutely be supportive of you! I think the negativity is their problem- it's coming from their issues. Maybe you're making changes for the better they they haven't been able to make.

On a related note, I once declined a cookie from a complete stranger and her response was "No, it's a requirement, you have to eat one." Seriously. I think I gave her some kind of weird, confused, who-says-that? look, because she backed off.

I had lunch at my grandparents the other day they offered me seconds i said no i'm good i had plenty and thier reply was what are you on a diet or something. I just said no i'm full i had plenty geez

Funny story about family....

I went out to dinner with my fiancee and his grandmother; I ate a salad to start then had a few bites of potatoes and a chicken strip. I was completely full. She called his dad that night and told him everything I ate and said they need to be concerned about me. Sometimes family try to be supportive in their own ways that may not seem like support to others.

Anyways, I would agree with the other posters I just say no, thank you. If they push then I say I am full or just don't want it.

Oh, I understand! For me, it may be that I've failed on many diets and they figure I'm going to give on on my latest attempt at weight loss. My father always asks me weird questions when I change my eating habits. Like I decided to try eating more fiber in conjunction with counting calories, and he asked me why I decided to diet and if I had some big event coming up that I wanted to lose weight for. As if I really need a reason to lose weight other than just getting healthy! Then my mom is always telling me that the only diet that worked for her was weight watchers and that I should do it. It was good advice the first time she told me, but now it's just getting old!

YES i hate it...now hopefully no one from my class is on here or anything, but I had an experience in my Japanese class. A girl brought in cupcakes for her birthday and she offered me one and I said no thanks (in Japanese lol)..and then added that "I am on a diet" because she seemed a little disappointed. Big mistake, pretty soon at least 2 or 3 of the other students are piping in with all the usual things..such as 'one cupcake won't hurt' or 'aw come on' etc. I did't eat one and i was proud of that but I should of just kept it to a simple 'no, thanks'.

edit: I also hate family that is not only negative but sabotages your efforts. I know that it is ultimately my decision to eat what is in the house but living at home sometimes my options are limited and being around it all the time doesn't help. I keep telling my mom that I want to eat better and stop drinking pop (i was for a long while but the habit is back) but she keeps buying it because my dad drinks it like it's vital to his life or something.

That's tough! U remind me of one of my friends -she was so frustrated about her parents buying all that unhealthy food that she ended up getting herself her own fridge! lol
It's weird how some people take it so personal when u dont eat their food!?!? But still being able to say know to that cupcake -good for you!
Sounds to me like eventually u'll win this battle ;-)

I find it hard refusing food from someone because I think they are truly offended when I say "No thank you", like their food isn't good enough for me or something...(that's never the case, it's just that it's always cake or cookies and I stay away from those things...)

-Dhani :queen:

It seems like it's opposite for me. With my family when I told them I wanted to lose weight a few times, they tell me "you don't need to." I now live with my BF's family and that's the first thing that came up, my weight. I'm too fat, I eat too much, I'm wearing large clothing when I should be wearing medium or small. I've heard so much of it from my bf and his parents. It's kind of like they're ashamed?

For the longest time I thought I was fine, I didn't need to lose weight but just tone, but I got tired of the complaining and arguments. Just 5 months ago I went on a diet, I got down to 140 (lowest ever since high school) and I told my bf's mom and she just gave her (idc not impressed) smirks..she's so hard to impress I swear lol. She just lectured me the other day nearly crying saying she wants me to be beautiful because I'm only 22, I'm so young.

So now I'm like wth, I'm tired of her crying over my weight (literally tears shed) and my bf constantly getting onto me about it too. I remember when we first dated he made the remark "I've never dated a girl above 130, you need to lose weight" I was like you did not just say that sh*t to me.

After months of fighting I decided I'll go on a diet and workout, I do notice there's some chunk on me in obvious places. But the point is, I get no support besides with food (sometimes).

Kruez2, I would count those remarks as verbal abuse! :hug:

Oh don't worry, I set him straight after that...I'm no pushover when it comes to being insulted. :D

Kruez2, I agree with Alexandra. That's verbal abuse, both from your boyfriend and his parents. You said you thought you were fine but just needed to tone. Now you're trying to lose because you're tired of their complaining. I believe that trying to lose weight for others is a quick way to failure. Even if you do get to your goal weight (or whatever it is that your bf and his parents consider to be good), they'll likely complain and argue with you about other things they think you need to change. IMHO, I think you'd gain a lot by losing the bf and his parents.

I'm always tempted to go completely the other direction and get just as upset as they seem to be :lol:

"have some candy"
"no thanks :)"
"Why not? Whats wrong with it?"
"Excuse me, but I am old enough to be able to feed myself, and I'm just wondering what makes you think you have to right to take that away from me?"

Yeah I understand this is hard when its someone close to you offering you something. but if theyre that close, why are they trying to force feed you so they dont feel rejected? hmmm

Trust me I completely understand and agree where you're both coming from. But in a sense it's hard to explain, I just say what I hear and what I understand. His mother is Chinese, so when she speaks English it doesn't come out right. I mean yea in general it's messed up that she concerns herself with my weight I agree. But I can't lie I've noticed myself in the mirror too lately. I'm very stubborn when it comes to weight loss because I was so lazy about working out and eating healthy. I've tried to diet for YEARS but maybe this is the reality check I personally need to actually get it done.

My bf on the other hand has never had an official GF before, so he tends to word things off too. So I have to remain calm and correct him. All in all though yes they said things about my weight that were quiet hurtful, but I can't sit there and lie and think that I wasn't concerned about my own weight too. When I'm being asked if I'm pregnant by other people, or looked at oddly, and I can't fit in old clothes anymore... somethings wrong. But trust me, this isn't an abusive relationship with either of them, just misunderstandings mostly but yes sometimes personal things are said too, but that's okay because they've helped me A LOT since I've moved in..in ways no one would probably understand.

I appreciate the advice and concern though! :D (I guess I should stop making my post seems so negative towards my bf and his mother lol, sorry!)