I agree with Jamie and some of the other comments here. Kaplods has wonderful points in her post as well.

As far as the financial thing goes, I hate to say it but I work (and socialize) with very wealthy people all day long because of my job. Almost all of the men (whether they are fit or not, balding or not, tall or short) have skinny little things on their arm that are at least several years younger than they are. I personally don't want to date the guys I work with (as most of them are arrogant and all about keeping up with the Jones) but its just an observation.

I have to say, that as usual, kaplods, has said everything, in her usual eloquent and insightful way.

I have to say I didn't give my bf the time of day in the beginning. While he was attractive he, didn't meet all of the items on my list. However, fate kept throwing us together (or maybe it was our very persistent friends, who needed someone to double date with). The more I got to know him, the more I realized that the traits he did have, far outweighed the one's he didn't.

He didn't have the bank account of my dreams, but his sense of humour has kept me laughing for the last 4 years. He was passionate about his job. Which has now turned in to a lucrative career, and he's getting in on the ground floor, so it will only get better from here. While he's good looking he's not model beautiful, but the hey, you don't see me strutting the catwalk either. Basically, once I gave him a chance, I realized that I could live without many of the items on my "list".

I agree with the advice, that it doesn't hurt to go out on few dates with someone who you would have originally blown off. You may be pleasantly surprised with the outcome or you may have some unique stories to tell your friends.

One of my good friends, decided that she was going to go out on every date she was asked on. She had friends set her up on blind dates, she joined various clubs, when a guy asked her out she said yes no matter what. She has some hilarious stories, and some cringe worthy ones too (one guy called him mom to ask whether he should have the chicken or the steak!). She had a blast, met some cool people, made new friends, tried things she wouldn't have dreamed out doing (repelling down a 45 story building!), and finally met her current bf. She gave every guy that spoke to her a chance, whether they be tall, short, fat, bald etc. She enjoyed her time, and had she not tried her little experiment she probably wouldn't have given her current bf a second look. She has nothing but good things to say about her dates. She's also said that if she and her bf were ever to break up she'd do it all over again. Sometimes it all comes down just putting yourself out there.

OMG that's hilarious, and so very strange. Even the most uber-dependent momma's boys are usually smart enough to tone it down for the first several dates (or horrors-of-horrors, maybe that was HIS toning it down). Can't you just picture this guy asking Mom for advice on the first sexual encounter of a relationship too.... "What kind of condom should I use, Ma?"

I don't see how expanding your dating options is lowering your standards. It's not like you are out to marry the person on the first date!

Dating is how you collect and refine your yardsticks to take a reasonable measure of a partner.

We all know the truly obvious stuff -- like don't date serial killer maniacs! And if these people asking you out fall in that vein -- by all means run away!

But it takes practice to learn the rest... and not just about them but about you. So if these people are just "not normally types you'd be into," consider giving it a chance anyway. You may surprise yourself or not, but you stay in dating practice and further clarify what it is you are really looking for.

To be honest, poor self esteem is a larger turn off to me than physique. But I didn't know this until I dated 3 guys in a row with poor self esteem. Not that I wanted someone who was cocky and with lots of bravado... but I knew I wanted someone quiet and not like a party animal.

Then I had to learn to refine that to -- ok, quiet and not some party animal because they are thoughtful and not rowdy vs quiet because they have hidden self esteem problems.

I didn't even realize "Decent self esteem" was on my list until I dated the ones who lacked it! But once I learned this was a yardstick I needed to measure because it turned out to matter to me... I was able to better gauge what I was looking for. I could look for those little clues that read "poor self esteem here!"

The person who is right for you likes you for you. Get fit for yourself and your health. If you feel you have self esteem work to do before getting into the dating pool -- go for it. Work on self esteem for your own confidence.

You don't have to make yourself over to find a partner, but caring for yourself should be happening anyway with or without partner.

Do you want to date them?

A.

I think this all comes down to self-confidence. If you believe you're the best thing happend to mankind since slicedbread, people will treat you accordingly. I have dated more gorgeous guys at my highest weight than I did at my lowest. My current fiancee(the Hottest guy I have ever laid eyes on. Rude women literally stop and stare at him even when I'm with him.) met me when I was around 180'sh and loved me as much as he loves me now.