I get an email from a girl I went to high school with and we've talked in h.s. but we weren't friends. She is on my facebook and has watched my progress with my pics and my ticker. lol In her email she is telling me that I am an inspiration to her and that I motivate her. She wants a to lose weight and wants me to help, like pick my brain of what I've been doing and eating. All I kept thinking is why because I don't feel like an inspiration. I can understand if I got to my goal weight, but I am not even there nor not even close to it. When I look at the progress pics, I still see the girl that started. I don't see the difference. I struggle everyday with this...I have really no support from family or friends except you guys. I feel alone and still feel gross about myself not an inspiration. I feel like ill never get to my goal and wanting to quit...But I don't want to hear the "i told you so" or etc. Maybe I am just scared of how this will all end will I keep going or will I fail. If I get there will I be happy?!?!?...Will It be all worth it?!?! Sorry for ranting. Had to vent to girls that could relate or understand.

Curvaceous Cutie,

You are an inspiration! Like most people (or i know I do) your not focusing on how far you've come, but how far there is to go. You've done so awesome! Don't quit! The hardest part is over, you've changed your habits and way of life. And at risk of making you angry (lol)... your an inspiration to me too!

You've made it incredibly far without back-pedaling or failing, and I don't blame your new Facebook acquaintance for being inspired!

However, most of us here can relate to your worries about not getting to your goal, or getting there and then gaining back. I agree with katybug that you're focusing too much on how much farther you have to go rather than how far you've come.

There are hundreds or thousands of women out there who want to lose weight, and try, and still struggle to shed a couple of pounds, but here you are, 76lbs lighter! What size clothing were you wearing when you started? What size are you in now? I know it can be tough to notice changes in oneself when you're always with yourself. You see yourself every day so any changes are gradual in your eyes, but I bet if you see family or friends only a couples times a week or month, they are noticing big changes in you!

I have the same fears you do that I won't be able to reach my goal, or maintain if I do reach it. But I find if I dwell on that fear, I'll just quit, because what's the point in trying if I figure it's a foregone conclusion I'll mess up? For now, I focus on losing one or two pounds at a time. I take this one day at a time, and maybe one week at a time, but I don't look much farther ahead, or else it becomes impossible to focus on the present.

Basically, if you plateau, you plateau. If you fail, you fail. If you gain back, you gain back. It may happen, it may not happen, but assuming it will happen is a self-fulfilling prophecy. If you focus on failure as a foregone conclusion, you will fail.

I don't know if any of that helps, but I think you are an inspiration, and that you can do this, and if you take it one step at a time you will have a much better chance of success, and ultimately happiness!

Re: happiness. I'm about to be harsh, so steel yourself. Whether you're happy or not at your goal weight depends on how happy you were before you lost the weight, and how good you are at identifying the real source of problems.

When I was in high school, I dropped a ton of weight because my mother insisted I would be so much happier if I did. People would judge me less. I would be more popular with classmates. I could find a husband. But when I did get "skinny," I was no happier than I was before. So I lowered my goal weight. And lowered it again. And was never, ever skinny enough to make me happy.

Besides, even at 105 pounds, I was still "ugly." My nose was too big. My hair was too blah. My shoulders were disproportionately wide. All of my popularity problems were not magically fixed, but I doggedly found ways to blame all of my problems on my lack of attractiveness.

So you should ask yourself: why do you feel "gross"? Is it because you just don't like your appearance, or is it because you feel ostracized from other people? Are you worried about your health, or are you worried about looking like a failure? Because even if you lose weight, your family will not love you more. Strangers will always judge. Men will always play the field. In essence, being thin will not poof you into a happy new world.

The only way you can insure happiness is by separating your feelings of "grossness" from your weight. The way other people see you is only marginally influenced by size. I know several large women who are the life of the party, as well as skinny minnies who are a total drag to be around. People like people who are positive, empathetic, non-judgemental, and fun, no matter their waist measurement (unless, of course, they're total b*tches with their own emotional baggage, who aren't worth your time). So. If you get there, will you be happy? That depends entirely on you.

SEVENTY FOUR POUNDS?!?!!?

I mean, come on, that is a hella lot of butter. You are an AMAZING person for doing this. IF COURSE you are an inspiration. You should be constantly proud of yourself!!!!

Really, there's no need to rant. You've done wonderfully! Look at your progress, look at your ticker...you've lost close to 100lbs! First off, a HUGE CONGRATULATIONS for sticking with it and seeing that kind of progress!! You're part of the very small percentage that has the motivation and determination to see the kind of results you have.

You should be proud of yourself my dear!

I'm just going to echo what everyone else has said. You may not be at your goal; however, you have lost a TON of weight and that is awesome. There are tons of people out there who would love to have lost what you lost but for some reason or other just haven't gotten around to it. Your loss says you are motivated and determined. And guess what? It also says you will eventually hit goal. You've already come so far all that's left now is a waiting game and consistency. I know its tough to have lost alot and still be overweight, thinking, that this is dificult and taking so long and I have so much more to go before I can fit into x, but when times like that come, you just have to remind yourself of where you've been and how far you've come. This whole topic is hyping me up too...lol... I often forget as well about the concept of focusing not just on the final destination but also on the steps I've taken to get there. We can all do it!

Couldn't have said it better myself!!!!!

Working a plan and being successful at it IS worthy of inspiration!

Before I figured it out, before it "clicked" I was AMAZED by people who could lose weight because I had no clue how to do it!

You are worthy of the praise, honey

I've had this happen to me as well - girls who hardly spoke to me in highschool have sent me messages, etc. I was kind of put off, but then I was really flattered. We never see ourselves as inspirations because we focus on how we're not at our goal yet, never at what we've done to get where we are.

I'd take it as a compliment and just keep going

Same thing has happened to me. Girls I never even liked, all of a sudden want to be buddy buddy with me when they see my pictures of Facebook. I just tell them to eat healthy and walk, it worked for me haha.
You should be so proud Alicia, you worked your butt off to lose those 74 lbs

I agree with everyone else!! You are an inspiration. You should be proud of yourself everyday. 74lbs is nothing to ignore, its not just 10lbs then you quit. It takes real drive and determination to lose that much weight. You know how many people would've quit because it was too hard? I totally understand why that girl admires you!

Thank you guys! I really needed that! I was just having a bad weekend. I just get frustrated and stuff. I am just trying to be me..Not thinking I could be an inspiration.