[possiblesuccess]

Hey everybody. So I'm new on this forum, but I'm looking forward to meeting new friends, while giving and recieving support on this journey. I'm 19 (I will be 20 in Feb), and I'm not really the typical teenager. I'd rather be at home on a Saturday night watching movies that I've already seen dozens of times than go out and be around a bunch of people. I'm really shy, and I don't really feel like I relate well to people. I feel like I allow my weight to come between me and getting to know new people. And I know that people can relate to that feeling. In this time in my life, while I'm trying to get to a healthy weight, I'm not sure how to try to have a social life. Any suggestions?

[Aclai4067]

You just described me when I was 19 exactly. Now I'm 23, still trying to lose weight, and I still tend to let my weight hold me back sometimes. But I have improved my social skills quite a bit. I wouldn't say I'm a social butterfly, but I'm no longer that weird girl who doesn't talk. I gained most of my social skills when I studied abroad. I was in another country by myself and I needed to find roommates! So I was forced to be outgoing. Obviously that's a pretty expensive course is socialization. But I guess my point is it can help to throw yourself in to situations that require you to be social. Another thing that really helped me was going out and doing things with someone who is outgoing (just one person, not a whole group). In a group of super-social people i tend to get lost in the mix. But if it's just me and one of my social friends, she is always reaching out to meet new people who usually have a friend (wing man) who I have to talk to. Everyone is different, forced socialization may not work for you (especially if you have social anxiety disorder like one of my friends), but it worked wonders for me

[Iconised Ghost]

congrats on your loss so far! maybe for socialising you might be able to find an amatuer sports club that you like, maybe just with a group of people who do it for fun and fitness

[forestroad]

Just like anything else...Fake it till you make it! You may not feel confident and outgoing, but try and put on that act, and it will come easier and easier with PRACTICE. It's really hard for me too, and yet I've had people tell me that they think of me as a really outgoing person who's very easy to talk to. They certainly didn't always think of me that way, and a lot of times I still feel like meeting new people and making conversation is such a chore.

Also, talking through your issues here can really help you get a handle on them, I've found. And self-acceptance. Even just in the last couple of months I've noticed I look people in the eye more, because I'm not ashamed of how I look or worried about what they're thinking. Spending time on (in?) the fat-o-sphere has really helped with that.

Good luck honey!