Hi ya,
Sorry I'm late to the conversation, but I know exactly how you feel. Over the last about 9 months I've been diagnosed with chronic migraines, my IBS has flared to very annoying proportions, and I moved to PA from WA and the humidity is really making life difficult. So what do I do?? I sleep more, work out less, and try not to indulge in comfort food really often. I also have been though bouts of different medications for migraine prevention that have caused me to gain 30+ pounds and won't let me work it off! So all in all, I get it, I know how hard it is to be sick or have medical issues and fall off the wagon....and maybe try and get on, fall, try and get on, fall, etc. It's really tough and once you've been on the wagon before and then fall, it seems that you have to jump through several hoops to even be allowed to try and get back on! I'm glad to hear some resolve in your "voice" though. That will really get you far as long as you hold on to that fiercely and don't let go! you CAN do this, I promise, it will be difficult and rather time consuming, but you can do this!!
Also, I'm a veterinarian so I only know the animal side of things, but it is know that long term or several doses of high levels of steroids can cause a cat or a dog to gain weight (if that's what you meant by "bulk up") although a lot of those times it causes irreversible changes to the body's internal chemistry. This may not be the case in humans, but have you had it checked out by a MD?? Just curious...well good luck, hopefully this helped?!