It's sad - the biggest thing that motivates me is seeing other people around me loosing weight and becoming thinner then me. That or - me loosing weight and being thinner then other people - aka; my sister.

That's so sad! Of course I care about my health and staying in shape for me - but when I'm the most motivated is when I see others around me loosing weight.

It's so flawed and I wish I could change it. I'm to competitive!

Well, at least you're honest. I am at the tail end of being a 20-something. It used to be about those same things for me too, and I was never able to lose more than four to eight pounds. It wasn't until I was noticing how hard it was to get up a flight of stairs, and how much slower I was in softball, or until I finally just decided to throw myself into a healthier lifestyle mind, body, and soul that I was able to make some real progress. I mean the kind of progress where people didn't just notice a weight loss, but that I seemed happier and was making more friends and trying to get into contact with ones I hadn't been in touch with. I have even gotten a little better at forgiveness. The only person being affected who has a jealous heart is the one who is jealous. It can eat you up inside. I wasted many, many years on regret and jealousy. I am just starting to get over that hump. It has eaten me up.

I have read your posts before, and you seem like a really wonderful, beautiful, honest person. I went through guy problems too and still do. I think the best thing you can offer yourself though is loving who you are first and foremost. This may seem out of line and out of place, but I am extremely competitive too. So much so that I stayed in a career for ten years that I loathed just because I was good at it. The last six months I have been trying to make sense of a lot, and forgiving has been at the center of it. Forgiving myself, forgiving my past mistakes, forgiving myself for not being perfect, for having bad days, for taking my aggression out on the wrong people.

If being competitive is what helps you lose weight or keep it off, admitting it to yourself is a huge step, but I think you could also call it being inspired by someone else. I think you are being too hard on yourself. Keep up the good work.

It's not a coincidence that my best friend lost 40lbs just before I rededicated myself to my efforts.

I think we all have thoughts and feelings that we cannot control, that pop into our heads but we know in our hearts are wrong. The feeling, like jealousy, doesn't make you a bad person...it's how you process that feeling that matters, like recognizing it as something negative and then acting in a way that models behavior that you think is better, like being supportive and respectful of your friends who are losing.

I think that's the biggest motivator for most young ladies

**** yeah! also, i like being stronger than i used to be. and catching glances of myself in a window or mirror isn't bad either!

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I am exactly the same. God forbid someone i know should join a gym. I would quadrupple my efforts!

YUP!

Part of what keeps me motivated is that my really good friend Jessie is doing a diet/exercise program through her gym and is really successful with it. I have to do at *least* as well as she is

(but then again, I think me starting WW all over again may have prompted her to start that program, so its working both ways for us)

There's nothing wrong with that at all! I think all women are extremely competitive. I'm competetive with things that aren't even real when I want to lose weight. For example, I had a dream last night that one of my deepest enemies lost all kinds of weight and I woke up extremely motivated. So, I think I win on the "pathetic" scale. Haha. There's that, and the fact that I just signed a 1-year contract and the idea of wasting money motivates the **** out of me.

I cannot ignore my competitive side. I do not feel I am "catty" in the least but I like a good, strong competition now and again. My older daughter is that way too. She is the smallest in her class (height wise) but out runs EVERYBODY! LOL. I love it. The look on her face as she competes is SOOO familiar.

hey I compete with people who I don't even know...so i think I have now won pathetic-ism..haha. I will running and maybe around mile two when someone gets on another TM (she can be walking or running) and HAVE to run long enough for them to get off BEFORE ME. Of course unless I have run 6-1/2 miles....which happened once and I know better than to overdo it so I can still run another day.

I am also in competition with my sister ....but mostly because she made it that way. she hates that she weighs 10 lbs less but we wear the same size so makes comments that me wanna lose more than her. yea i know its stupid....but the bottom line is you are not alone

lol, thanks everyone - I feel less pathetic now haha

Haha, for the last couple years I have been bigger than my sister (significantly bigger, for a while). When I got down to 168 (which is her weight), she was just like, "Right. I need to lose weight now." And I said, "Right. I'll have to work harder so I continuously weigh less than you do." And I have!