[nik1305]

Ok... so in a couple weeks I'm going home, to Pa, for my brother's graduation from college. We're going to have a huge graduation party with our family, and his friends, and my friends. I just started dieting so I haven't lost much weight(5 lbs) for anyone to notice a difference... However, I have gained weight since I last saw some of my friends up there. So, I'm kind of dreading seeing some friends because I know I've gotten heavier, even though I'm working on losing weight...and it's kind of driving me crazy because I'm so excited to see everyone! I guess the big thing is that I'm ashamed that I've let myself get this big.

Then when I leave Pa one of my best friends in the world is coming back to GA with me and she's going to stay with me for a couple months! I'm so thrilled to have her come here! My boyfriend is getting deployed soon so it'll be so nice to have some company. HOWEVER, she is like 5'0..and like 100 lbs.. So, I'm just worried about staying on track with dieting and exercising while she's here... and also while I'm home in PA(home cooked food, bbq's, etc..mmm haha). Just looking for some input, tips, etc.. on how to go about staying on track and dealing with everything!... Thanks!

[Thighs Be Gone]

First of all, you won't be the first gal to show up somewhere with a few extra pounds..we have all been there and can relate...concentrate on the fact that you are doing something NOW and from this time forward..you are starting your journey to health and THAT is exciting and nothing to be ashamed of!

Secondly, if your friend is fit maybe she can help you with your journey. Explain to her how much you want this and ask her for support. I am sure she will gladly help you!

[skinnywish]

just have your plan outlined for while you're away and when you get back and do your best to stick to it!

I'm sure there will be a few slip ups (bbq's, yum!) but just don't fall in to the "while i ate badly today, might as well write off the rest of the trip/week/month" mentality.

you can do it! and have fun!!!!!!!

[peccavi]

This happened to me not too long ago, at Christmas I saw lots of relatives that I hadn't seen in ages and I weighed 30+ more pounds than last time I saw them, and I had just started dieting. I was so embarrassed!

Just try to enjoy being with people you love. On the positive side, if they see you at this higher weight, next time they see you after you lose the weight they will be even more shocked and impressed! For some reason that thought helped me get through Christmas, and now I'm about to go see everybody again in May and I am 20 pounds lighter.

[hotnewspirits]

I know it sucks to be bigger than before but please try to enjoy the experience of seeing old friends and family again!

I feel like I took friendships for granted when I was bigger and allowed myself to become distant so no one would see how big I'd gotten and I became irreparably distant with some people.

[nik1305]

thank you guys! you made me open my eyes a bit wider. I'm sure my friend would help me while she's here. I guess it's that shame and my pride that's holding me back from asking her.. and skinnywish you totally nailed it with saying not to write off the rest of the trip by one slip up.. I've been known to do that before, but not this time!

peccavi, I bet you are so excited to see everyone, 20 lbs lighter.. That will def. help me out and motivate me not to slip up while i'm there!

hotnewspirits- that is such great advice, thank you!

[Star2Be]

Aww, girl, lemme tell ya--I can definitely relate. I've been fat my whole life, pretty much gaining and gaining and gaining all throughout puberty/young adulthood, and I always dreaded going to family events and things like that where I'd have to meet up with people I hadn't seen in a while. Any time I saw family, I was always bigger than the last time I had seen them, and I would sink into that paranoia of feeling like they were just picking me apart mentally, as if they *must* be thinking Good god, how much bigger can she possibly GET?!?! Or worse yet, that their eyes would just kind of glaze over me with pity, like I was just a lost cause. That is never a good feeling, and I'm sorry that you're worried about having to experience it now.

BUT, something that I'm sure you already realize--they're not going to be thinking that, or anything near it! I feel like, because we spend sooo much time thinking about our bodies, it's so easy to assume that other people are scrutinizing us in the same manner, but 99.9% of the time they are NOT. Especially when it's your friends and family that you will be seeing! Will they notice that you've gained weight? Sure, it might register in their minds, but it's not going to be the only thing they see... The thought will probably slip out of their heads immediately after, because they'll be too distracted thinking about how happy they are to get to see you and spend time with you! You must know that they love you, and they're not looking to judge you or look down on you. If anyone does happen to say something about it (because of course, awkward/badly-mannered people are out there ) just politely deflect the comment and try to remember that it's probably coming out of a place of genuine concern for your health/happiness, NOT a desire to hurt your feelings.

Good luck staying on track with everything in the weeks to come! We all believe in you!

[maverick09]

I definitely know how you feel. I just had this experience, actually; my cousin and I go to the same school, and she was graduating, so her parents and siblings, as well as a few other family members, came into town. Of course they all want to get together, so I had to go hang out with them (to get ice cream, no less) while I'm at my highest weight ever. I felt like they were all looking at me thinking, "she should have said no to the ice cream...". I finally realized though that there was nothing I could do to change my appearance in that instant. My family loves me no matter what I weigh. I combined those 2 truths, and instead used it to try to enjoy the time with my extended family while also finding motivation to start changing my life.

[nik1305]

star2be- Thank you! You don't know how much that helped, thank you! It never really registered that "hey, they probably don't obsess over my weight as much as I do" haha.. and I know they love me and probably more excited about seeing me than worrying about how much I weight. I just need to keep that in mind when I see them.. and I know when I do see everyone I'm not going to thinking about how I look, I'll be too excited and happy .. It's just getting to that point and dreading them realizing I've gained weight. I just need to focus on the positive

maverick- so true! there's nothing i can do at that moment to change how i look, so i better just enjoy it... The good thing is I have still have a couple weeks before I see everyone to lose more weight Thanks!

[Star2Be]

^ Aw, I'm so glad that I was able to make you feel even a little bit better... It always helps to get a friendly reality check, heh. And focusing on the positive is an absolutely excellent idea! WTG!

Let us know how everything works out--if things get tough, you know you can always come and vent to your 3FC pals!